A/N: This story is finally back, and Edward shall suffer no more. ;) I am sorry for the extended hiatus, and I appreciate your patience more than I can say. Thank you to my beta, TwilightMundi, for being so speedy and amazing. I expect this to update on Wednesdays, as usual for my stories.

I own nothing except my dirty little mind. All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

"I think so, too. You may help him with his orgasm."

"Thank you, Mistress."

BPOV

Edward and I made eye contact and shared the tiniest smile before my eyes moved lower. Much lower.

He was just as he'd felt – thick, long, and very hard. I knew the smallest movements would set him off, so I was careful with my touches. I wanted a sliver of time to have him all to myself before the night was over and he left.

I carefully dragged my nails up the length of him, licking my lips as I remembered the taste of him. I knew if I bent to my knees and took him in my mouth, though, he'd come in my mouth – against the rules – so I resisted the urge.

Edward brought his body as close as he could, leaving barely enough space for me to wrap my fingers around his cock. My lips tingled to touch his. I gripped him harder, pulled faster, and laid back, ready for what I knew was coming.

My eyes never left his body, watching intently as he came all over me. Normally, I thought it was kind of gross, but in that moment, it was sexy. I wanted as much as I could get from him. My hands didn't leave his dick until I was sure he was finished.

Mistress laughed lightly in the background and my eyes flicked up to hers.

"That didn't take very long, Pet," she said with a smile. "You must be good at that."

I lowered my head a bit as I felt my cheeks flame. "I'm pretty sure you're good at what you're doing as well, Mistress."

Yes, it was speaking out of turn. Technically, she could have punished me, but there was some strange vibe in the room and I had a strong feeling she needed to hear that her presence was vital.

"Edward, grab a washcloth from the bathroom and clean up both of you."

"Yes ma'am," he said. His fingers were resting on my thighs and as he pulled them away, his skin dragged against mine, one last reminder of him searing into my skin.

In an uncharacteristic move, she bent and kissed the back of his shoulder. My eyebrows knitted together. Her eyes were focused lower, withdrawing her implement, I assumed. Once she pulled away and moved to the bathroom with Edward, I relaxed a tiny bit.

Whispers were carried in tiny slivers into the main room, but I couldn't make out any particular sentences or words beyond small clips of orders and acknowledgments.

Edward brought a warm washcloth back with him and carefully, lovingly, cleaned me up. When he was finished, he put the fabric in the hamper and stood, waiting for his next order.

"Than you, Edward," Mistress said. "You've been a very giving and obedient toy tonight. I hope you enjoyed yourself?"

"Very much, ma'am."

"I'll talk to you in the morning, then. Goodnight."

He turned and got dressed, the smile never leaving his beautiful face. As he walked through the door, my focus turned back to Mistress, and I caught that funny look in her eyes again.

"Ready to go upstairs, Pet?"

"Yes, Mistress."

She held her hand out to me, and neither of us bothered to put our clothes on before leaving the room and re-entering our lives.

Rose was spare with her words, more quiet and contemplative than usual, and it made me nervous. I knew better than to push her; she'd talk to me when she was ready, but I still made sure to show her the caring and consideration I always did post-playtime. In our bath, we drank wine and listened to quiet music. We relaxed and held hands under the water. We almost fell asleep.

After we realized how exhausted we were – it was well past two in the morning by then – we drained the tub and curled into bed. My brain wouldn't shut down, an endless stream of worry and anxiety over whatever it was Rose was thinking. She didn't seem to have any trouble falling asleep, though, and I breathed a little easier when I heard her light snore and she pulled me closer.

In the morning, the sun warmed me. It took a moment to realize I was alone, but then I opened my eyes and tried to peek around for her. I smelled coffee, so I knew she had to be around somewhere. Stretching, I contemplated rolling over for more sleep. My thoughts were interrupted by her peeking her head around the corner.

"You're up," she said, wide smile on her beautiful face.

"Mhm, I am." I stretched again and yawned. "Whatcha doin'?"

"I was just making breakfast. Well, more like brunch at this point," she said with a laugh. "Hungry?"

"Fuck yes."

I was suddenly energized by the thought of a breakfast made by her, with her. She'd slipped on a nightgown and I watched the way it swirled around her body as we walked into the kitchen.

When our plates were piled ridiculously high, we sat at the kitchen table and shared a nervous smile.

"So, last night..." I started.

"I already checked in with Edward," she said. "He seems good. He thanked me about twenty times."

"Rose, you know I love Edward, but that's not what I care about right now. Are you okay?"

"Me?" she asked, face contorting. "Sure. I'm fine."

"Yeah?"

I wanted to believe her, but there had to be more. It couldn't have just been that easy, not with the funny looks and strange way she was so … tender with him.

"Do you... Are you..."

I started and stopped so many times in my head, managing to do so out loud only twice. It was like my brain wouldn't send the message to my mouth to form the words.

"Am I what?" she asked, scooting a little closer. "Damn, now I'm worried about you. Are you okay, B?"

She covered my hand with hers and her body shifted toward mine, which made me smile.

"I'm fine, I promise." I knew the only way I could spit the words out was to close my eyes and say them as fast as I could. "DoyouhavefeelingsforEdward?"

"Fuck," she said, blowing out air along with the letters. "No, I don't have feelings for Edward, weirdo. God, I thought you were going to tell me you were leaving or something."

"No, I mean, I love Edward, but I don't love him. I'm not leaving you until you push me out the door," I said for emphasis. I meant every word of what I'd said.

"Not gonna happen," she said, popping a bite of blueberry muffin into her mouth. "You're just stuck with me."

"Poor me," I said with a dramatic sigh. "Stuck here, lost in your love forever. How will I go on?"

Laughing, we went back to eating and the mood lightened for the rest of the day. I could still sense something nagging just under the surface of her, though, and sure enough, the heavy mood from earlier crept in under the dark of night.

"What would you think if I..."

"If you what, baby?" I asked, squeezing our hands.

"What if I wanted that?"

Out of context and with no framework, I had no clue what the fuck she meant.

"Want what?"

"What if I wanted to be with a man?" she asked, hesitating. "Just once. Just to see what it's like."

It was kind of adorable, the way she was clearly so self-conscious and nervous. For fuck's sake, she could have done anything she wanted downstairs.

Then I let her question roll around a little more as I thought about it. I wasn't really sure how I felt, and I told her about my concerns.

"I think it would be good for you to experience it, you know?" I said, reassuring her. "I think if you want to do it, we should. Just don't leave me out, please. I want to be there. And it might be weird if it's Edward. Wait, do you mean like, fucking, or do you want to sub for someone?"

"I... I don't know. I don't think I want to be anyone's bottom, especially not in a situation like that. I'd want to be in control, for sure. Just, the way he looks at you, and the way you look when he's inside you. I don't think I've ever seen you look that way."

Her wanting to be in control made sense to me, but the rest of it? Total nonsense.

"I love you, Rose. I love you so much. Just tell me what you need and I'll give it to you. Maybe we can go to a party and meet someone open to playing with both of us. But trust me, the way I look at him? I don't know what you see, all I can tell you is what I feel and what's in my heart. You. You're the one person there. If you wanted to stop playing with other people, I'd agree in a heartbeat."

"I love you, too. I'll think about it more and we can talk again."

Several weeks went by. I got nervous when Rose didn't bring the topic up again, nor did she seem to want to visit the playroom with me. Nothing else seemed off – she was still just as affectionate as ever, and open to my advances as well, it was just … something wasn't right.

Rose had agreed that we'd go to a few of the local parties and see if we could find the right person. Of course, I had no idea what that person would look like. Did Rose have a type? Did she want a pretty guy? Did looks even matter, for these purposes? I wondered if there was a way to check out their pants while being discreet.

The first party we went to was mostly a bust. There were a lot of men there, but none of them captured Rose's attention like she'd wanted. Edward was there, so we hugged and hung around him most of the time.

Something about that party must've jarred Rose, though, and I wasn't sure if it was good or bad until I saw my ring sparkle in its holder the following Wednesday. Joyful didn't even begin to cover describing our night.

The second gathering we went to was at the same home I'd met Edward all those years ago. I smiled as we walked around and I remembered playing there with him, although he wasn't there that night.

A deep baritone voice brought me from my musings with a greeting.

"Hello," the stranger said, a youthful grin on his face.

"Hi. I'm Bella," I replied, putting my hand out for him to shake.

"Bella," he repeated. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed, and I laughed. I wondered if guys like that still really existed, and decided they must – my proof was in front of me.

"Having a nice time?" he asked, leaning closer to look into the room at what I'd been watching.

"I am."

Suddenly, I worried about where Rose was. I looked around, remembering she'd wandered to grab something to drink. In the corner of the room opposite ours, she was leaning against the wall, smiling at me. One of her eyebrows quirked, and the side of her mouth lifted in a half-smile.

"HIM?" I mouthed, nearly frantic and panicking. She'd sent him over? She'd seen him and wanted to know more? A thousand questions raced through my mind.

Rose nodded, then brought her Diet Coke can to her lips, taking a long sip. Her smile grew and when she lowered the can, she mouthed, "Yes?" to me.

She was giving me the option to veto, and I wasn't sure yet. The guy next to me was … young. Certainly younger than Rose and me. I needed to know more from her, to ask her all the questions lingering, but when I made a move to walk to her, she shook her head.

Clarity set in – she was making the call, but giving me an out.

At this point, the muscled man standing inappropriately close to me brought his fingers beneath my chin, tilting my face up to his.

"Please say yes," he practically whispered.

I'm a judge in this fabulous contest -- Share the Love -- and I wanted to make sure as many people know about it as possible. If you don't write, beg your favorite writers to enter! Be sure to read the rules carefully, as we're looking for true poly stories, so bring your characters and let's get it on.

I'd love to see some (gasp) non-lemon stories that tackle some of the angstier sides of being in a poly relationship. Okay, I'm lying. I want lemons in those, too.

If you need some picspiration or prompt/pairing ideas, be sure to follow us on twitter or tumblr.

A/N: My sincere thanks to TwilightMundi for doing her usual beautiful beta job on this chapter, as well as the whole story. Words fail me, my sweet friend, but I giggle at the email we exchange, look forward to hugging you again sometime soon, and am grateful for your presence in my life every single day.

To my pre-reader, a feistyginger, "thank you" doesn't even begin to cover it, starfish. I would double tap with you any day. Thank you for everything.

All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

The workday was long, and I cut out early, just after sending email to Edward to let him know he could do the same. I was eager to hear about Jasper's therapy session, and had asked him to check in with me after it. I called Alice to keep me awake on the drive home, and I wasn't at all surprised when her smiling face greeted me in my driveway.

"I love you," I said, practically collapsing in her arms.

"I know you do."

BPOV

The first week was difficult for Jasper, but once he found a routine that included therapy, he seemed to settle back into himself.

There were good days and bad days. Days when Edward stayed at Jasper's overnight because we were both worried. Edward and I grew so much closer through our shared concern, in fact. We would text each other and email or talk at work, trying to figure out what kind of a day Jasper was having and make sure that we were there for him.

Alice moved in to my house slowly, bringing some of her things here and there over a few weeks. The four of us moved her couch, then hung out for pizza, beer, and a movie.

Weekends became a ritual congregation of the four of us – six, when Rose and Emmett joined our group. I couldn't quite figure out what was going on between Rose and Emmett, but they seemed to be dating. I'd tried to grill Rose several times, but got nowhere. It was the first time I could ever remember her keeping details of a relationship private.

After a long week, I'd left work early Friday afternoon. I stopped by the grocery store and picked up everything I'd need for that night. I wanted to surprise Alice with a romantic dinner in.

I was in the kitchen slicing mushrooms for dinner when I heard the front door open and close. Alice. Jasper had taken to actually knocking again when coming over, after the last time he'd come in unannounced and walked in on Alice and me on the couch.

I heard the soft click of her heels on the floor as she made her way to me and smiled. I continued my knife work, focusing on not slicing off a finger while daydreaming about her, as the sound got closer.

My shoes had long been kicked off, so when she approached me from behind, we were at basically the same height. I felt her warmth press into me, hands wrapping around my waist, palms flattened against my skin the entire time. Her lips curled around the lobe of my ear and I closed my eyes and set the knife flat on the cutting board. Her hands slid up my torso to cup my breasts, thumbs extended and teasing my nipples to aching points.

"What's for dinner?" she asked softly, more breathing the question right into my ear than anything.

I shivered. "Nothing if you don't stop that."

I tilted my head back onto her shoulder and soaked in her light laugh as it escaped her mouth in waves. Alice kissed my neck gently, her hands never stopping their attention at my breasts, rubbing, rolling, pinching, caressing. I was going to be a puddle of goo on the floor soon, if she kept this up. Maybe that's her plan.

She flattened her palms once more and gave my breasts a final moment of attention before she stepped back slightly and ran her hands up my back to my shoulders.

"Baby, you are too tense. Long day?" she asked.

Her hands were working magic and I let out a soft moan. "You have no idea," I sighed.

My hair was pulled up, standard for when I was cooking. Alice reached and released the clip, allowing my hair to drop down softly over my shoulders. Her fingertips traced a light path up my neck and tangled into my hair. She began to gently scratch my scalp then switched to half massaging with the pads of her fingers and half scratching. I braced myself against the counter with my hands, even more of my muscles going slack against my will.

"I'm so glad it's Friday. Aren't you?" Alice was speaking in that teasing tone that I knew meant trouble. Lots and lots of great, fun trouble.

I mustered all of my strength and turned around to face my love, her fingers creating a mess in my hair as I did so. I wanted to tease her back, so I lightly brushed my hands up the front of her body, knuckles sliding over her nipples, until her face was in my hands. My lips brushed hers, both sets still closed. One of my hands played in the hair at the nape of Alice's neck and the other was on her shoulder.

My lips pressed into hers again, just as lightly as the first time, then I rested my head on her shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, Ali, I just had a long day. I worked on a tough case and it was very emotional." I took a deep breath, willing away the tears. What was this woman doing to me? Six months ago, I never would have let a case make me cry... that anyone would know of.

"Whatcha got goin' on in here, baby?"

Alice's hands slid down my back and were rubbing soothing patterns. I closed my eyes and hummed in appreciation.

"Carpet picnic," I smiled. Alice loved our carpet picnics almost as much as I did.

"Oooh! What are you making?" she asked.

"Mushroom turnovers. I wasn't expecting you home so early. Hey, why are you home so early? Don't you have a class to teach tonight?"

My mouth met hers again, the soft skin of our lips dancing together. She let out a gentle sigh and smiled against my mouth.

"Veronica agreed to pick up the class tonight; she needs all the extra classes she can get. I missed you. You've been so busy at work and it feels like we haven't spent any time together in a while," she said. Laughing lightly, she continued, "I guess you had the same idea. Anything I can help with?"

Alice trailed her kisses down from my mouth across my jawline and to my neck. She licked and nipped at my collarbone and then swiped her tongue across the exposed swell of my breast.

"You're not helping with that, I can assure you," I moaned. "Actually, if you want to help, do you think you could run out to the liquor store? I only realized we were out of red once I got home and I need to get these going or we'll never eat... Augh... Alice, sweetheart, you have to stop, please," I begged.

Shamelessly begging for my girlfriend to stop loving me so she could go run an errand. What in the fuck is the world coming to? Once I realized the errand was in the name of some naked, wine-laced carpet picnic time with my hot girlfriend, I felt a little less white bread about it all.

Alice gave me one last kiss on the lips before making her way back out of the kitchen, car keys in hand.

"Be right back." She winked as she walked back through the hallway to the front door, locking it from the outside behind her.

I put my hair back up in my clip and returned to chopping then sautéing my mushrooms and onions. While they happily cooked on the stove, I got out one of the trays we used to serve each other breakfast in bed. Putting a serving platter on top, I began to arrange my various foods. I took the brick of goat cheese and sliced it into half rounds, then brought out the small wheel of brie I had in the fridge.

I got the grapes, strawberries, and raspberries out. I washed the fruit and arranged it around the cheeses. I grabbed one of the creamy milk chocolate bars from the pantry and broke it into squares, dropping them around the edges of the platter. The last thing I added to the tray was the bottle of honey.

I smiled and began assembling the turnovers. After I put them in the oven, I got out a corkscrew, cheese knife, a few napkins, and some wine glasses, taking the tray of food into the living room. I set everything up and went back to the kitchen when the oven beeped. I turned it off, took the turnovers out to cool, and took the glasses and corkscrew into the living room.

Once I plated the turnovers, I took them to the platter in the living room, then took the honey cap off, allowing the slow drizzle to flow onto part of the brie and goat cheese, leaving some plain. I couldn't help it, I let a tiny drop fall onto my finger and sucked it into my mouth, closing the lid with my other hand as I thought about the night ahead.

Before Alice got home, I wanted to quickly change into something far more comfortable and far less publicly acceptable. Once I picked out the lingerie from the closet, a white flyaway babydoll with a subtle black floral print and matching panties, I undressed and changed. I walked barefoot back to the living room and started a fire in the fireplace, then got out as many tea light candles as I could find. I lit them, as well as the pillar candles we had all around the room.

After I had the music on, I turned the lights off and reclined on the couch. I pulled one leg up into a bent position, took the clip out of my hair and laid my head on the arm of the couch. I pushed open the main part of the lingerie I had on and rested one hand across the back of the couch and the other on my stomach. I listened to the soft sounds of our favorite playlist drifting from the iHome.

A few songs played, but my lips lifted into a broad smile as I heard the key in the lock and Alice walked through a moment later. The paper bag sliped from Alice's hands as she took in the scene around her; thankfully, she was able to recover and not drop the wine.

Alice set the bag down at the end of the table and crawled on top of me. Her hands were still cool from being outside and her fingers ran a cold trail up my exposed skin. When she got to my stomach, she leaned down and kissed me, her tongue dipping into my belly button briefly. She moved to cup my breasts and I arched my back up off the couch and let out a soft moan.

"How did I get so fucking lucky?" I breathed.

She leaned down to my ear and kissed just beneath my lobe. "Oh, you haven't gotten lucky yet tonight, love, but don't worry... we're going to get there. Over and over, I suspect."

I could feel the weight of her body rest against mine as she moved to kiss my lips again.

"Hungry, baby?" I asked against her lips.

"You have no idea."

I giggled at the double entendre. We'd been deprived of each other for too long, that was for sure. I took her face in my hands and smiled, stroking her hair softly as I spoke. "Let's eat first, okay?"

"Okay," she sighed, defeated. "It looks good. Thanks for fixing this up."

Alice took my hand in hers and helped me off the couch. As soon as we were standing, I

took a long look at what she had on and realized we sort of matched; she had on a black and off-white blouse with a black cherry print, black slacks, and black heels. It was slightly conservative for Alice, but I knew she'd had a meeting with an important client that morning, so she needed to look professional.

Once I had helped her out of her clothes, down to her bra and panties, I slowed down and enjoyed the scene before me. Alice loved sexy undergarments and could make even the simplest things seem sexy, but what she had on underneath her clothes was downright hot.

I put my hand at the base of her neck and brought her in for a kiss. Without her shoes, she was back to being slightly shorter than me. We laid down on the ground, platter of food within arm's reach, and I opened the bottle of wine.

"Standard carpet picnic rules?" she asked.

Laughing, I nodded. We'd previously set down guidelines that during carpet picnic time, neither of us was allowed to eat by our own hand – everything had to be fed by the other person. It made for a much slower dining experience, but intensely intimate. It was the perfect way to reconnect.

As we drank glass after glass of wine, we fed each other small bites, nibbling and licking at fingers, our bodies unconsciously shifted closer. When a drizzle of honey fell off Alice's finger and onto my collarbone, I suspected it wasn't entirely an accident, but lost my train of thought when her lips and tongue made quick work of removing it. After the wine spilled down into the cup of my lingerie, I gave up all pretenses of eating and carefully nudged her onto her back.

I sat up and removed my nightie, then slid her panties off. The lovely buzz I had from the wine helped me to be relaxed and leisurely, and I nipped at the inside of her knee, then kissed her thigh softly. I wanted to tease her, to extend this time and bubble of space we'd created.

Skipping where I most wanted to focus my attention, I kissed the round softness of her belly. A lump formed in my throat as I thought of her past, and of our future together, but I quickly push it aside. Nibbling at the slope of her hip, I moved my mouth side-to-side all along my path up her body. Once I was straddling her, I undid the clasp of her bra and removed it from her body. As beautiful as she was in the lingerie she cherished, she was fucking gorgeous out of it.

"Don't look at me like that," she pled quietly. Her eyes were closed, head bent, and I could see her discomfort written across her face.

"Why not? You're gorgeous, Alice. Look at me, baby."

She did, opening her watery eyes and staring into mine.

"Gorgeous," I whispered. "Let me make you feel as sexy and loved as you are."

Maintaining eye contact, I bent and kissed her body again, and again, and again. When I wanted to move lower, I threaded our fingers and maintained contact that way. As my mouth worshipped her, her fingers tightened and released around mine. I made slow, steady swipes up the length between her lower lips. My mouth wrapped around her clit and my tongue slid along the sensitive skin as I pulled away.

I looked up at her again, her eyes trained down at me, and winked slowly. Alice laughed lightly, then squeaked a quiet moan out as I went back to what I'd been doing. I worked carefully, keeping her at the edge, the space when she took on sort of an ethereal glow from what we were doing, until she'd finally had enough. Her hand left mine and one was on either side of my head, a near death grip as she held me directly over her.

Our bodies worked together, her hips lifting her body to my mouth and tongue. Her fingers curled in my hair, tugging beyond gentle, as her body tensed and her breathing halted. My eyes moved to her again, watching her face contort in the sweetest of bliss. I hummed against her, overwhelmed with the sights and sounds of her, unable to release the feelings I had any other way.

Watching her chest heave with exertion, I sat back for a moment and let the image of her sear into my brain. I wanted to always remember her just this way – happy, sated, as pleasured as she could be. Alice's hand reached out for mine, and as she pulled me to her, her body wrapped around me.

Lying there with her, the quiet hum of the fire burning and nothing else, my mind quieted. All the stress of the day, the needs everyone placed on me, it all fell away. There was nothing but Alice and me, and that was perfect.

"Alice," I whispered, "will you marry me?"

Her voice was infused with the tipsy qualities I was used to after we'd exhausted each other. "Sure," she said.

"I don't mean that as a theoretical, you know," I clarified. "I mean marry me. Let's wear white and have a big party and beautiful babies."

I smiled, knowing Alice could never resist parties. Or babies.

"You want to?" she asked, her voice cracking. "Really?"

"Yeah. I want that. With you."

For several days, we didn't talk about it again. At Sunday brunch, I made up an excuse to leave Alice in the backyard with Hannah and found Carlisle and Esme.

"Hey you two," I said. "So, I don't know if Alice mentioned it, but I asked her to marry me the other night."

They both look startled, and I laughed. "I guess not. Well, that's okay, it was kind of spur of the moment and informal. I wanted to ask you for your permission, even though I know it's weird. I found a gorgeous vintage ring and I wanted to ask her again after we eat. You just mean so much to me and I love your family. I want everyone to be there, and..."

Esme didn't even let me finish my sentence, she just crushed me with one of her infamous full-body hugs. I could hear Carlisle chuckle in the background and the smile on my face was huge.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Let me see the ring," Esme said, pulling back from our embrace.

I shook my head and smiled. "Sorry. You know I love you, but I want Alice to see it first."

"You girls," she laughed.

Everyone was there and as we finished our plates and Esme began the coffee presses, my heart began to race. I reminded myself that this was our family around us, and took a deep breath. When Esme was back and the coffee had been poured, we began our usual banter around the table. I listened for a few minutes, waiting for my opportunity, and finally there was a lull.

Alice had been looking at me and I took her left hand in mine.

"Alice, I've been in love with you from the first moment I met you. Will you marry me?"

I didn't want to waste time recounting all of the reasons I loved her, nor was I that sort of person. Most of the reasons were deeply private, and she knew them already.

The ring sparkled in its box when I opened it. It was exactly as I'd remembered, cushion-cut diamond in the center, surrounded by smaller stones.

"Of course!" she practically shouted, leaping from her chair and throwing her arms around me.

The next three months of planning passed in a blur of activity. I thought there was no way wedding planning took more than a few days. How wrong I was.

To add to the stress of wedding planning, we knew we wanted to start a family right away. Of course, we figured it would take a few months to get pregnant … it wasn't as if we were doing things the conventional way, after all. Poor Edward and Jasper tolerated us calling them at all hours to make sure they weren't cheating and having sex or masturbating. Alice kept reminding Edward she needed his good swimmers.

Everyone was shocked when I was pregnant the second month of trying, three weeks before the wedding.

My stress levels almost shot through the roof when I started feeling morning sickness at all hours of the day. I wondered how in the world we'd hide the information from Carlisle and Esme until we were back from the honeymoon. Alice didn't want anyone aside from the boys to know about me being pregnant before the wedding date, which made me laugh incessantly. It wasn't like we could get accidentally pregnant.

She was far less stressed than she could have been about the whole thing, though. When the day arrived, we spent the morning lounging and drinking coffee together after a small breakfast. The only tradition she was insistent on was that we not see each other after we started getting ready, so the morning was spent loving each other. I was glad we'd gotten dressed again in some lounge clothes when the boys showed up.

During the drive, I made sure to go over everything I had on my lists. When we walked through the Cullen house, I was a little overwhelmed by the scope of it all. Of course, we knew how grand it would be, but with only a handful of guests, I hadn't expected things to be quite so lavish. I should have known better.

I made sure to give Alice a parting kiss that would keep her swooning until I saw her again before Jasper and I walked to the other side of the house. Rose and our mom were already there and waiting. We spent a few minutes sipping the champagne Esme had left us (I just lifted the glass to my lips, not actually drinking) and talking about how our lives had changed over the last twenty-four months.

Sometime around mid-afternoon, Alice texted me to ask if I'd seen Edward. When I said I hadn't, I could tell from her response that she was working herself into a tizzy. I giggled, then left Jasper to go find him.

Edward and Emmett were in the backyard and I approached cautiously, then realized they were talking about weddings. When Emmett made a comment that someday he and Rose would be at the altar, I almost passed out. I hadn't realized things were so serious, but at the same time, my heart soared. I'd grown to really enjoy Emmett.

Back with Jasper, we talked about what the early stages of pregnancy had been like so far. Even though I wasn't showing, I was grateful for stretchy pants. I briefly considered getting into my dress, but it was too early still and I wanted to stay comfortable as long as I could. We turned the TV on and relaxed a bit more. When Edward came in, he had a box in his hand. Hugging me, he whispered that it was a gift from Alice, then handed it to me.

The boys left to change and I gave them shit about not getting distracted. Those two were almost as bad as Alice and me.

I opened the box carefully, then felt tears well up. Inside were handmade coupons for a few trips to the spa, and a gorgeous watch that was engraved on the back. There was also a card from her where she reminded me how happy she was, how perfect she thought things were going, and how much she looked forward to seeing me full-bellied, and then making memories of us with our baby.

Our baby.

The thought took my breath away for a moment.

I sat, grateful to be alone, and took deep breaths. My mom and Rose reappeared shortly after.

"You okay? Ready to get into your dress?" Rose asked.

"Yeah, I think so," I said, smiling at her. "Help me get this on first?" I asked, handing the watch to Rose. She helped me with the clasp and I smiled as I watched it twinkle on my wrist, catching the sun.

"Can you take this to Alice?" I asked Rose, handing her a wrapped rectangular box. "It's a necklace."

We shared a look and Rose hugged me so tight I couldn't breathe. Somehow, she just knew. Of course, if Alice opened the birthstone necklace – one for each of us, and one for the projected due date of our baby – in front of her, she would get confirmation.

My dress was ecru-colored and made of soft, swishy silk. It was mostly simple and easy, not fussy, exactly how I wanted it. The top was fitted corset-style, and I just hoped I wouldn't spill out and give our guests more than an eyeful.

As my mother slowly tightened the back of my dress, she leaned in close to whisper. "You're glowing."

"Am I?" I hedged. "I must be really happy."

Renee laughed, and I'd never been more happy to have her drop a subject. Before she turned to walk away, she added a whispered congratulations. I reached out to grab her hand, then pulled her into a tight hug, tears leaking from my eyes unexpectedly.

"Thank you for being here," I said. "I'm so glad you came."

"Wouldn't have missed it for the world."

"Okay you two, no messing up our make-up!" Rose admonished, back from her task.

With a nervous laugh, we split apart and dabbed at our eyes with the Kleenex Rose handed us.

"Ready?" my mom asked.

I nodded. "Where's Jasper?"

"I'll go find him," my mom offered.

Alone with Rose, I smiled at her as we shared this moment of memories that would last forever.

"You gonna be next?" I asked, smug smirk on my face from having overheard Emmett.

She just shrugged and turned light pink. It was perfect.

"Okay, okay, here I am," Jasper announce as he entered the room. "Let's get this show on the road! We've got ladies to hitch together. Renee, Rose, why don't you beautiful ladies lead the way. I'd like one last moment here with our bride before I walk her down the aisle."

When we were alone, Jasper faced me and took my hands in his.

"This is it, B. Did you ever think you'd be getting married?"

"Hell no," I said with a laugh. "Did you?"

Jasper smiled at me in a way that spoke so much more than words ever could.

"Are you ready?"

"So fucking ready, you have no idea," I said.

He extended his arm to me and I looped mine through. As we approached the French doors, we exchanged one last look before he opened them and we walked through.

"Thank you for this," I whispered to him as we walked.

Jasper's voice was strained, his voice tight with emotion. "Thank you for the honor."

At the end of the aisle, he kissed each cheek, squeezed my hands, then let me go to stand to my side. When the music changed, my heart fluttered. I couldn't wait to see her. I knew she'd worked tirelessly on her dress with Esme, and I wanted the night to be perfect for her. For us, really.

Carlisle looked fabulous in his tuxedo, but my girl was drop-dead gorgeous in her dress. When she walked, the candles and lights around us sparkled against the bodice. The skirt flared all around her, twinkling and moving with each step she took. I barely remembered to breathe.

The entire ceremony, although I knew it was short, left my head as soon as it was over. I remembered Carlisle joining our hands, and saying my vows and hearing hers, then kissing her when Emmett pronounced us married.

I remembered the flame-like sunset that embraced us in our new life.

I remembered the way her eyes flitted so quickly to my flat stomach as we stood in front of everyone, joined forever.

I remembered dancing with her and sharing a private laugh as we whispered about the first time we'd danced together.

A/N2: Yes, that's it. That's the end of this journey. I can't thank you all enough for joining me – for the waiting during the hiatus, for reading femme slash, which isn't a popular genre in this fandom, and for trusting me to tell these stories. I want to hug you all. And cry.

I felt it was only right to end on a Bella/Alice chapter, since that's who I began this story about. Edward and Jasper would never have even played a starring role if my former co-writer (NaughtyPastryChef) hadn't begged. I'm so glad she did. I hope you are, too.

I'm hoping to post the first/next chapter of Yes Mistress next Wednesday, but don't shoot me if it takes an extra week to edit and catch up. After YM, the TTH sequel will begin.

A/N: Thank you to the gorgeous women that help me with this story – TwilightMundi and afeistyginger.

All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

"It's all my fault," he said, head still shaking slowly.

"What's your fault?"

I tried to unfurl him, to invade his space and help ease his physical pain even if it was just the tiniest bit, by pushing myself into his bubble. It was no use. There was a muffled sob, and then two words I never expected.

"He's dead."

EPOV

My hands rubbed across his back.

"Who's dead, Jasper?"

"Stephan."

I knew the name – that this was the teenager Jasper had been so worried about before we'd left. As I struggled with how to comfort him and which questions to ask, there was a knock at the door.

"Bella," Jasper whispered.

Disentangling myself from him, I walked to answer the door, but apparently didn't move fast enough. A second, louder knock jarred and frustrated me. I was doing the best I could and moving as quickly as possible.

I couldn't form any words when I had the door open. What was I supposed to say, I wondered. Her eyes went up and down, capturing the fact that I was fully dressed as she asked what was wrong.

I still couldn't even begin to think of what to say to her.

"Jasper?" she asked, facial expression changing drastically from one of annoyance to one of despair.

When I nodded and opened the door, she ran in, Alice's hand linked with hers. I closed the door and walked back to the room, then sank to the floor beside Jasper. He moved from Bella's arms, shifting closer to my body, so I opened my arms and held him. My chin rested on his head, eyes closed, as I thought about how I might be able to help.

I whispered to him that we'd get through this together. We had each other. He didn't have to be alone and I'd be there for him no matter what. That night, I held Jasper closer than I ever had before. His lips were sticky and swollen against mine as he kissed me, full of need and desperate for reassurance. We didn't take it any further than that, just a long and slow kiss now and then.

The rest of the weekend felt like a haze in my memory. I knew that on Saturday morning, Jasper had gone to spend time with Bella and they'd fallen asleep on the couch in her room. We all went to Zumanity that night, but I spent more time watching Jasper from my peripheral vision than I did watching the show. The fountains at the Bellagio were amazing. Jasper was standing next to me and I couldn't help but hum along with the songs I loved so much as they played.

I realized I'd never played piano for Jasper, and decided to correct that at the next Sunday brunch. My parents were storing my piano I'd had since I was a child until I had a more permanent place to live and my fingers suddenly itched to play. I wanted to weave a beautiful song for him.

When we arrived back in Salt Lake the next morning, I knew we'd be parting for several days, but I didn't want that at all. Bella drove us back from the airport and we hugged her and Alice goodbye, then walked to Jasper's house.

"Come in for a bit?" he asked.

I nodded and followed him inside to the living room. Jasper sat on the couch and I slid into the spot next to him, both sets of our feet up on the coffee table. At least our shoes were off.

"You know, they're like my kids," he said quietly.

"I know," I said. "You take such good care of them."

Jasper's fingers threaded with mine and we spent the next few minutes sitting quietly together. Eventually, he got up and put in a movie. We laughed and laughed, and I was so glad he seemed to be okay.

"Wanna call for pizza?" he asked as the credits rolled.

"Yeah, that sounds perfect. I need to go after we eat, even though I don't want to."

I could see the disappointment on his face, but he didn't ask me to stay, and I had to at least stop at my place to grab work clothes. Had he asked, I would have stayed in a heartbeat. I could have gone home and come back, but I wasn't sure if he needed privacy and space or what.

Our pizza was quickly demolished and I was home and doing crap chores long before I'd wanted to be. We texted each other until I crawled into bed and he said he was doing the same. I told him I wished it was the same bed, and he sent back a smiley. I never knew how to interpret that. Did it mean "I wish that, too" or did it mean "no thanks"?

Monday was bleary and cold. Bitterly cold and uncomfortable. I bundled up even more than usual and texted Jasper. When I didn't hear back from him, I lingered around Bella's office, in case she wanted to ask me something or tell me she'd heard from him. We had a few conversations, but both focused on our work. I internally swore, but knew if she wasn't freaking out about things, I shouldn't be either. She knew him so much better, and for so much longer, I rationalized.

After work, I tried to call Jasper, but it went straight to voicemail. I was biting my thumbnail and pacing when I got a text from Bella, which was quickly followed by her calling.

"Have you heard from him?" she asked, voice full of panic.

Shit shit shit. I knew I should have gone by his house to check on him.

When she told me she was getting dressed to walk over, I was already in my car. The worst that could happen was she'd find him with his cell charger cord broken and perfectly safe at home, drinking a beer and watching the Sports Channel. The worst case scenario I didn't want to think about, but also didn't want to deal with over the phone.

I broke so many traffic laws that it was a miracle I didn't get pulled over on my way to them. I had to get there. I had to see with my eyes that he was okay.

"Bella, did you find him?" I asked, turning onto their street. I could hear her muttering to herself but couldn't ascertain what was going on.

When she told me about the empty bottle of Patron, I'd been putting the car in park in his driveway. I could still hear her talking to him, begging and pleading, definitely crying, and I began to pound on the door for her to let me in.

"Bella!" I shouted through the phone. "Bella, open the door, please!"

Once I was inside, we ran to Jasper's room and the first thing I did was check for a pulse.

What the fuck did you do, Jasper? You told me you were okay...

"Wake up, Jasper. Can you wake up?"

I kept shouting, angry and hurt, confused and upset. Tears sprang to my eyes without permission as I realized how much this whole picture reminded me of so many nights I'd helped Alice with Sasha. God, please don't let Jasper go down that path, I prayed.

When Jasper began to slur and talk, I finally felt my heart beat again. He said he could see two of me, and I wanted to tell him both versions would be kicking his ass in the very near future.

I didn't want Jasper to be unresponsive and require us to call for help; I hoped he'd just wake up and vomit. I was grateful when he was able to stand, making his way to the bathroom with our help. When he finally threw up, I felt relief wash over me. The night wasn't totally in the clear, but it was a step.

After several hours and a very thorough toothbrushing, Bella and I walked him back into bed. She whispered she was going to leave, and just as I was nodding, Jasper asked for her to stay. Once we were all three settled into the bed, Bella and I talked for a bit.

In the morning, I was glad when I woke up and saw Jasper still sleeping. He was breathing. He was there and okay. I stretched and got out of bed, walking to the kitchen to make coffee. I smiled as I worked in his kitchen, so many small reminders of him around me, then carried a mug to each of them once it was ready.

Jasper and Bella were both very happy to see the coffee, and Jasper demanded I crawl back into bed with them. He said he was sorry, but it wasn't that easy. I needed him to know how serious I was.

He told me he was going to see a grief counselor and that eased my fears. Jasper was smart; he'd been through similar situations with patients and he knew what needed to be done. I was glad he was on the right path and hoped that one night was simply a fluke.

~%~

Over eighteen months later, as I sat on the edge of his bed watching him dry off after our shower, I thought back to that night. You know those moments that solidify things? They either make or break you – as a person, as a friend, as a lover. Those first few weeks after Stephan were like superglue for Jasper and me.

True to his word, he began grief counseling. It wasn't always easy, and so much more than just handling the suicide came out during those one-hour meetings, but I watched as Jasper found himself right in front of me.

"How're you feeling today?" I asked.

"Great," he said. "I can't wait to see her at the end of that aisle. I know it's going to be a fantastic."

I nodded and smiled at him. It was going to be amazing.

"Think we should go help?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. We'd delayed entering the chaos long enough. And, I was pretty excited, truth be told.

Walking to Bella's house, we talked about what the afternoon and evening would entail, going over each detail again. We were in charge of a lot and though I'd made a mental list, I wanted to make sure we didn't forget anything.

"The caterers are already there, right?"

"Mhm," Jasper said, squeezing my hand. "Stop worrying."

As if I could.

He knocked at the door, then turned the knob and pushed it open. We laughed when we spotted Bella and Alice on the couch in their pajamas, as if it was just a normal Saturday.

"Ladies, how is it that we're more stressed about this day than you?" I asked. "Get up, lazy-asses."

They stood up and hugged us, shrugging and laughing.

"We were just going to head over," Alice said. "Carpool?"

"Of course," Jasper said, smiling at her.

Over the last year, they had grown so close. It made my heart soar. The four of us had spent countless hours together and were almost our own family unit.

While we drove, Bella rattled off the list of things she had going on, and I smiled at our similarities when it came to conquering tasks. When we arrived at the site – my parents' house – we gasped at the number of vehicles already there.

"Jesus," Bella muttered, having never been subjected to our family's version of a celebration before.

"It'll be okay," Alice reassured her.

I opened the door and stepped inside. A small intake of breath was all I could manage at the sight as I looked around once I'd made it to the main area of the home. There were huge white tents set up in the backyard and tables scattered around. It wasn't cluttered or cramped, just the right amount of seating for both the event and the space. On each table, there were vases with gorgeous white flowers and candles.

It was impressive and gorgeous, fitting for their personalities. Jasper and Bella left for the other side of the house.

"Ready, Maid of Honor?"

"Baby, if you call me that one more time, I'm going to be forced to tackle you and tickle you until you pee. I don't think you want that on your wedding day, do you?"

"Just be glad I didn't ask you to wear a dress," Alice said, laughing.

We walked back to my parents' bedroom arm-in-arm; it was what our mother had dubbed Wedding Central, and where Alice would get ready. Her dress was hanging from one of the posters of the giant bed frame. They'd worked on it for the entire three months of the engagement, spending late nights and weekends slaving away. Even on the hanger, it was gorgeous – off-white, silk, and had lots of sparkly things.

"You're going to look like a princess," I said.

She turned and smiled at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and squeezing me hard.

"Thank you for everything."

For the next few hours, I was at Alice's beck and call. I fetched her food when she was hungry, figured out where the makeup person was when they weren't five minutes early, and did my best to calm her nerves. I'd never been so grateful to see Emmett in my life, when he arrived upstairs.

After the obligatory hug, we sat out in the backyard on some of the folding chairs.

"How come you guys aren't doing some kind of big gay double-ceremony shit?"

I laughed; Emmett never did hold back.

"Do you really think Alice would have let anyone steal her thunder?" I asked.

"Good point," he said, tilting his head to the side. "But if there was anyone she'd let share this day with her, it would be you. You two are … so close."

The pain in his voice was small, but so clear.

"You know she loves you, too. Why aren't you up there with Rose?"

Laughter boomed from him. "Oh, I will be." He smiled wide and genuine. "Someday, brother."

Apparently Jasper wasn't the only person benefitting from therapy.

A hand on my shoulder startled me.

"Sorry," Bella said. "Alice is texting me to ask where you are. She says you've been gone for hours,"she said, eyes widening dramatically, imitating Alice perfectly, "and she needs help with something."

Standing up, I turned and faced Bella. "She's texting you?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "She still insists on not seeing me. Or me not seeing her. Whatever."

"I've been gone like ten minutes," I said, rolling my eyes. "But thanks, I'll go see what she needs."

Alice was still in her pajamas when I walked into the fray again, but her hand was smoothing over the front of the dress.

"Where have you been? Mom's going to help me into my dress in a minute," she said. "Do you think you could take this to Bella? How much time do I have left?"

Her questions were rapid fire and I put my hands on her shoulders to steady and calm her.

"Chill, Alice. You have a little less than an hour. Of course I'll take your gift to Bella."

When I told her the amount of time left, she almost melted beneath the weight of what I knew was excitement and anticipation. The wrapped box moved from her hands into mine and she pushed me on the shoulder.

"Go," she said, shooing me. "I need to get my lingerie on and I know you don't want to be here for that."

I shuddered at the idea, and then my brain involuntarily slid into the two of them together in bed and I almost gagged.

On the walk to the other side of the house where Bella was, I passed my mom, hugging her. She started crying and I just handed her a tissue from the pocket pack of Kleenex I'd learned to be armed with.

"Sorry!" she said. "I'm just so happy!"

She was literally bursting with happiness, I could tell.

"I know, Mom."

We went our ways, and as I approached the room, I heard Bella and Jasper talking and laughing. Their closeness never upset me anymore. It was just another facet of Jasper I'd come to deeply understand.

"Okay you two," I said once inside the room. "Time to start getting serious."

Neither of them was dressed or ready and I just shook my head. I knew Rose had done Bella's makeup and hair, but she was probably off with Emmett now that it was done. It was the only part of Bella that was ready for what was about to occur.

The way she'd relaxed and grown into her own the last year had surprised me, but in the best way possible. I knew Rose and Bella's mom was there somewhere, but I hadn't seen much of her after we'd been introduced the night before at the family dinner.

Handing the wrapped gift to Bella, I hugged her quickly, whispering the box was from Alice, then stepped away to Jasper's side.

"Wanna go get dressed?" I asked him, wiggling my eyebrows.

"Uh, yes," he said, his hands quickly finding my body.

We left Bella to open her gift in private as we got into our tuxes.

"No funny business, boys!" Bella shouted after us. "There will be time for that later."

Jasper and I exchanged a look and eyeroll, but once behind the closed door of my childhood bedroom, I began to wonder if I could just get one quick naked moment with him. My clothes were off in record speed and I lifted my arm to look at my watch, then decided I couldn't risk it. There would be time later.

When I turned to look at him, the sight knocked me stupid. We were both wearing the same basic, black tuxedo, but he looked fucking amazing – like he just stepped out of a billboard or a movie.

From the look he was giving me, I imagined he was thinking the exact same thing.

Unfortunately, someone at the door reminded us we were needed elsewhere. It was Renee, Bella and Rose's mom, and she was searching for Jasper. I took that as my cue to find Alice, knowing people had already arrived and were seated. The ceremony was only minutes away.

"Mom, can I please escort you to your seat?" I asked when I found her standing next to Alice, wiping her eyes again.

"Sure, son."

Our dad was talking to Alice, making her laugh and cry as they got ready for the walk. The Walk.

A lump knotted my throat as I walked with my mom down the white fabric draped over bright green grass. When she was seated comfortably in the front row, I let go of her hand and walked inside.

Back with Alice, I gave her one final hug. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be. Does she look amazing? Is she glowing? Is she nervous?"

"You'll see, Alice. She … You both look beautiful. It's going to be perfect."

She exhaled and looked temporarily relieved. "Well, get out there then, Maid of Honor. I'm ready to be a bride."

By the time I arrived at the edge of the French doors leading to the backyard again, I could hear the music playing. I felt dizzy for a brief moment, looking out at everyone waiting. Jasper had walked Bella down the aisle, then stood to one side of her, acting as her Maid of Honor. Rose was a bridesmaid, standing to his left. The soft strains of instruments called to me and I walked carefully to take my place on Alice's side of the arbor.

Emmett nodded his head at me once. He stood under the arch, waiting to officiate, with a mile-wide smile.

As the music changed, every eye turned to look at Alice as she made her entrance. She was radiant, matching the glow that came from Bella, as she walked down the aisle on our father's arm to her betrothed.

The ceremony was blissfully short. When Emmett spoke, he commanded listening. His words were beautiful and touching, recalling funny and touching events from our childhood and memories of Bella and Alice together. Sunset had just approached and the sky was lit with the fiery pinks and oranges of summer. It was the perfect backdrop.

Guests were ushered inside the house for appetizers as the tents were taken down outside. The entire space glowed with candlelight when we went back out, and I marveled again at how perfect it really was. After a dinner was served, a few dances, and cake, the brides left. They were off on their honeymoon and I was a little envious of their private time away.

"Ready to blow this popsicle stand?" Jasper asked after we'd done our share of dancing.

"I'm ready to blow something."

"That's what I'm talking about," he said, grabbing my hand and leading me out.

Of course we had to stop and say goodbye to all of our family and friends, but it didn't take too terribly long, thank god.

Inside his house, I pushed at his jacket, tugging his tie at almost the same moment. I couldn't get him naked and in my mouth, hand, or other parts, fast enough. I needed him like I needed air.

We fell onto the bed, a tangle of body parts – arms and hands reaching and pulling, legs weaving together and tangling, mouths crashing against each other. His lips pulled and pushed against mine, demanding and taking.

Jasper laid on top of me once we finally calmed down and found our rhythm together. He'd already put on a condom and dealt with everything he needed to.

He was smiling down at me. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I said.

As his lips teased mine again, he leaned against my body and used one hand to guide himself into me.

There were no deep confessions, no questions or proposals, and that was exactly how I wanted it. With careful love, he pressed deep inside. Whispering and kissing, he pulled out and pushed in repeatedly. Our bodies were joined and his chest pressed against mine with each movement.

This was my bliss. Making love with Jasper, knowing how happy each of us was, just as we were, at that moment in time.

After a few minutes, he picked up his pace and I shifted my hips, taking him deeper. My hands moved to my cock, stroking in time with him.

"Harder," I whispered.

Jasper cursed and complied, driving into my body faster and harder. He was hitting exactly where it felt best and I closed my eyes, lost as we made love.

When I knew I was going to come, I reached over and grabbed a few tissues. As my body tightened, I felt him thrust even harder, seeking his own climax. I opened my eyes to watch, the sight of him coming one that I cherished and sometimes replayed in the dark of night or early haze of the morning during our time apart.

"Mmm," he hummed as his body collapsed onto mine, both of us spent. I welcomed the weight.

His lips found mine again and we kissed languidly for several minutes before we got up to clean ourselves. Smiles were exchanged in the mirror, glancing at each other without even meaning to, our eyes always drawn to the other person. We brushed our teeth, sharing the tube of toothpaste, and touching in small ways whenever we could.

Back in bed, the hum of the fan overhead seemed to be the perfect lullaby.

"Today was a good day," he said, voice full of sleep and love.

"The best," I agreed.

"Do you think your mom suspected?" Jasper asked as I drifted to sleep.

My lips stretched taught in a wide smile. "Not a thing."

We had found each other under the most odd circumstances. Our love had been tested, Jasper's life nearly shattered by grief. Our best friends fell in love alongside us, and we had become a family. It was an odd mix of characters for sure, but when I looked around the table at brunch the following Sunday, I was choked up.

This was my family, chosen and born, and I made sure to look at each of them as I stood up to speak, a slightly unusual move.

"I'm glad Bella and Alice are back, and thankful for their safe return," I said looking at them. "I don't even want to know what kind of unspeakable things they did, but I'm glad to see them so happy and luminescent."

My vision shifted to Rose and Emmett, sitting side-by-side, holding hands. "To love, and life."

My eyes swept to Jasper. "To forever."

A/N: I cannot ever thank TwilightMundi enough for her help as my beta, and my friend. Thank you to afeistyginger, who didn't have a chance to pre-read because I was working on this until the last minute again.

All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

It was dark and I couldn't really see her, but I felt as she moved above me, her body pressing into and covering mine.

"I'd love to live with you, baby."

BPOV

Saturday morning I woke up feeling awful. My eyes were gross and crusty, a sure sign I'd been crying in my sleep. I could also tell that the time I'd spent in bed was mostly tossing and turning, and not a ton of sleeping. With a sigh, I dragged myself out of the warm cocoon and into the bathroom. Lying in bed any longer was pointless, and I just risked waking Alice up.

I turned the shower as hot as I could stand it, the heat pelting my skin like a punishment. Leaning against the wall, I kicked my own ass repeatedly in my head. I should have been happy that Alice had agreed to move in with me. I was happy about that, I just couldn't help the nagging ache that I was being a terrible friend to Jasper. Had I been too selfish asking her? Should I have waited?

I had no idea what the protocol was for this situation or how the rest of our trip would be.

We were all supposed to go to Zumanity that night; would the boys even want to go? Should I bring it up? If they didn't, should we stay with them instead of going? They were both far more important to me than a Vegas show. Should we just go home early?

When my skin couldn't handle any more heat and I was clean, I turned the water off and climbed into one of the plush terrycloth robes hanging just outside the shower. After I wrapped my hair in a towel, I plopped on the couch and picked up my phone, typing out a text to Jasper. I knew him well enough to know he probably hadn't slept much either, and was likely awake.

How are you? I typed quickly, pressing send and hoping for the best.

As I waited, I quietly called room service and ordered two pots of coffee; one would never do, I could already tell.

Back at the couch, I saw Jasper's reply and immediately began another.

Yes, please come over! Alice is asleep still. Let's snuggle. Ordered coffee.

A few minutes later, there was a soft knock at the door. I had no idea if it was Jasper or the room service person, so I tugged my robe tighter. When I answered, it was both. The delivery woman put the carafes of coffee on the table, along with the cream and sugar, and promptly left. After we'd poured ourselves a mug, we sat together, snuggled up under a blanket we'd found in the closet.

The TV played as I curled underneath Jasper's arm, both of us sliding into a more horizontal position. Even though Jasper and I hadn't spoken about anything of consequence while he was there, I could feel the depth of his grief and it spilled into me. Our legs wound together and my eyes closed, lids heavy and chest tight with sadness.

When I woke up, Alice was tenderly touching my cheek.

"Hey," she said quietly.

Jasper was still completely asleep beneath me.

"Hey. What time is it?" I croaked, my throat scratchy and dry from the hotel room heating.

I moved slightly, trying to gracefully roll off Jasper, but failed epically. When my ass landed on the floor, I laughed a bit. Jasper's hands went to my shoulders, clearly stifling his own laughter.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, looking up at him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay. I should probably go."

"You don't have to," Alice said. "You can let Edward know that he can come down and we can all just have a low-key breakfast here, if you want."

My heart thumped in my chest. Alice's kindness wasn't entirely unexpected – she was always gracious and understanding – but it was overwhelmingly appreciated.

Jasper smiled and they held each other's eyes for a beat longer than usual. I imagined some sort of unspoken understanding between them, both such vital parts of my life and heart.

"Thank you, Alice. I think I'd like that."

He stood, stretching, and fished his phone out of his jeans pocket. I couldn't help but watch him as he sat back down, phone in hand, presumably texting Edward. His eyes were dark and his usually tidy hair was a disaster.

Turning my head to face Alice, I mouthed coffee to her, one eyebrow raised in question. When she nodded and smiled, I walked to the table and poured her a cup, fixing it exactly how I knew she liked it. The thought that she'd been in my life long enough to know these intimate details made me smile. Then I remembered she'd agreed to move in with me, and I had to contain the urge to jump up and down.

As I refilled Jasper's cup from the carafe, I pondered how to ask him a few of the questions I had.

"Do you want to go home?"

"No," he said a little too loud. "No, this is your vacation and we tagged on. If anyone's leaving, it's just me. Edward can hang out with you guys, right?"

Jasper seemed to be working through his thoughts out loud, and I wondered if he'd talked to Edward at all during the night about things. It was going to be even worse if he shut down and shut Edward out, that much I knew.

"Did you talk to him about that?" I asked. "I mean, of course he's welcome to stay and hang out with us, but I don't think he's going to want to do that, J."

Our eyes met as I set the carafe down and took a spot on the couch.

"I know," Jasper said, sighing. "Fuck."

There really didn't seem to be much else to say. No one knew what to do, or how to help, not even Jasper.

Edward showed up a few minutes later and we ordered breakfast, then ate, mostly in silence. The clatter of silverware and dishes was loud above our silence, and each sharp noise felt like it was stabbing my brain.

"I'm going to grab a quick shower and we can figure out the rest of the day, okay?" Alice asked, standing from her chair.

"Sure," I said, nodding.

"Do you need to go back to do any work?" I asked quietly, not sure how to broach the subject of if he needed to be with the family or anything. I had no idea what happened or what the procedure was when a child did such a thing in a facility like his.

"No," Jasper said quietly. "There will be an investigation, but it won't start until Monday at the earliest. I don't know if I could even face the family right now. I'd like to be there for the ..." Jasper trailed off, his throat clearly closing with emotion. "Nothing will happen until Monday, I'm sure."

"Do you want to stay, or do you want to go?" Edward asked. "Either way, we'll all be there for you."

I nodded, even though Jasper was looking at Edward. I knew that even Alice would gladly go back to Salt Lake without complaint, if it meant supporting Jasper.

"I want to stay," Jasper said quietly. "Does that make me a horrible person?"

Jasper settled into Edward's arms, well, as much as he could from the other dining chair. I watched as his shoulders shook and I felt strange witnessing such an intimate thing between them. Edward's eyes met mine again and he motioned me over with a small movement of his head. I took a seat on Jasper's other side, grabbing the hand that I could reach, and smoothed over his palm with my thumb.

I tried my hardest to make my voice as soft and loving as it had ever been, as I spoke. "It doesn't make you horrible, Jazz. We can stay in, or go home, or go out. Whatever you want."

"I might suggest you take a shower first, though," Edward added, tilting Jasper's chin with his finger. As they looked at each other, Jasper laughed a little, then nodded.

"You're right," Jasper conceded. "I smell terrible. Bella is a saint."

"I didn't even notice," I confessed. "But go on, you two. Go get a shower and come back fresh and clean. We can figure out how to spend the day then, okay?"

With a few nods and hugs, they left and I was alone in the silence. I decided to give Alice her gift, the mood having lightened between all of us considerably.

A few minutes after I set the package on the couch next to me, the bathroom door opened. Alice stepped out fully dressed, probably expecting the boys to still be in the room with me, and smiled.

"Hi."

"Hi," I said back.

We shared a quick laugh, and then she sat next to me. Her eyes drifted to the sash around the robe moments before her fingers fidgeted with the knot. As she hesitated, her eyes shifted to my other side, spotting the wrapped gift.

In a moment of ooh, shiny lack of concentration, she grabbed the box and began shaking it.

"Is this for me?" she asked, eyes wide and bright.

"It is," I said with a laugh. "But don't you want to go back to what you were doing first?"

Alice bit her lip and looked at me, a true look of conflict on her face.

I laughed again. "It's okay. Unwrap the box first. Then me."

Her fingers played with the pink ribbon, then pulled one end, untying it. The silk fell onto her lap and she hesitated before opening the box. It was too big to be a ring box, but still made her nervous for some reason.

The white box sat unassumingly inside, shiny silver logo staring back at her. She tipped the box, spilling the iPod box out into her hands.

"You got me an iPod?" she asked, her voice a mix of awe and something else.

"Yeah," I said. "Totally lame? I asked around, it seemed like the best gift people could suggest for you. You know, for the studio? I bought and loaded a bunch of music onto it. I can take it back, though, if you don't like it."

Her fingers touched my lips, silencing me. When she lifted her eyes to meet mine, hers were glassy and watery.

"This is the nicest thing anyone's ever given me," she said quietly. "Thank you."

"Alice," I mumbled against her fingers, "I'm pretty sure people have..."

She moved her fingers and replaced them with her lips, truly silencing me. The iPod box dropped to the ground and she covered my body with hers. My legs parted and she slid between them, pressing herself against me perfectly. She didn't bother to untie the robe, she just moved her hands beneath the fabric and pushed it to the sides. As she cupped my breasts, I pushed up against her, seeking friction. Her fingers and hands teased me, playing my body like only she could, as she kissed me sweetly.

Her lips trailed from my mouth over my chin and down the side of my neck. "Go get dressed before the boys get back," she said.

Alice kissed the space between my breasts, then used her hands to pull the robe closed again. She got off the couch, motioning me over to the bedroom.

By the time I was finished getting ready, Edward and Jasper were back. The three of them looked so relaxed, talking and laughing as I walked into the room.

"So what's the plan?" I asked.

"We're going to walk the strip for a bit, then grab dinner before the show," Jasper said. "We can sit outside and watch the fountains after. Sound good?"

I nodded and smiled.

That was exactly how we spent the afternoon: walking, talking, and laughing a lot. It was really nice to see Jasper lighten a bit. He seemed to genuinely be enjoying himself.

When we passed the Sugar Factory, we stopped in and bought way more sugary junk than was wise. We decided to indulge in a buffet for dinner that night before Zumanity, so we stopped at the Paris and over-stuffed ourselves. When it was time for the dessert round, we all ordered coffee to try and counteract the food coma threatening to take over.

The show was … interesting. I'd expected it to be laced with sexuality, as per the reviews I'd read, but it was so beautifully done and honestly, a little more tame than I expected. We discussed our favorite parts as we walked slowly back to the Bellagio. It was the middle of a water show, so we stood and leaned closer to our partners as we watched the rest of the show and two after. It was the perfect way to end the night.

Sunday morning, we were all exhausted and ready to go home. We gathered in the lobby after checking out and got some breakfast together. It was quiet, the mood somber. Reality was going to invade our lives again and we all knew it.

After touchdown, the drive back to our street was filled with the same quiet sadness. The city was cold and grey, snow clouds looming. Everything seemed brown and ugly, the way I was suddenly feeling inside. When it was time for Jasper and Edward to walk back to Jasper's house, I hugged them both tight.

"Gym in the morning?" I asked Jasper.

"Yeah," he said. "See you then."

He gave me a half-smile, but I didn't buy it for a second. I was glad, though, that he was going to attempt to keep a routine.

When Alice and I were inside, I asked her to stay the night, but she had too many things the next day and needed to do laundry. I argued that she could use my washer and dryer, but after a laugh and a kiss, she was gone.

Once I'd started my own laundry and dealt with packing my gym bag, I turned on the shower. After I stripped my clothes off and was under the warm water, I leaned against the shower wall, all of my strength evaporated. I wanted to slide down to the ground and sob for a few hours, like they show in the movies. The tears flowed heavy and thick, loud heaving sobs overcoming me.

Several minutes later, I composed myself... somewhat. Everything ached, my heart, my head, my eyes, but it was time to dry off and climb into my softest pajamas. I fixed myself a mug of tea and crawled into bed to watch FoodTV and try to get some sleep. My phone vibrated shortly after, though, and once I'd responded to Alice and told her I loved her and wished her a good night, I curled down as far as I could.

What would happen when we shared space and I felt like this? When I needed my own space to be dramatic and over-emotional? The thought terrified me.

As Chopped came to a close, the winner having been declared, my eyes fluttered slightly. I was thankful to be so sleepy, hoping a good night of rest would help. That was bullshit, though. Jasper would still be just as crushed in the morning and I knew it. My phone vibrated as my heart began to ache for what he was going to have to deal with, and I wondered why Alice was texting me again. I was surprised to see it was Jasper, asking if he could come over for a sleepover.

Of course.

After I'd sent my reply, I scooted to my side of the bed in anticipation of him. I could tell he'd walked, listening to him shrug off his jacket once he'd come inside the front door. When he got to my room, he smiled a tiny little smile and crawled under the covers. I managed to stay awake for another few minutes, my arms wrapped carefully around his body. He was so big, but he needed me so much.

I wished I could somehow take away his pain, but knowing I couldn't, was grateful he'd asked to come over. I could do this. I could hold him. I could listen. I could be his best friend.

When we woke up, we each got ready for the gym, then did our usual routine of sweating together. The sauna after was warm and exactly what I needed. We grabbed coffee, and with a quick kiss on my cheek, Jasper was gone. We'd barely exchange ten words the entire morning, allowing our comfortable ease with each other to take over as we moved and interacted in familiar ways.

"Call me if you need me, okay?" I'd said after my kiss back to his smooth cheek.

His quick nod and squeeze of my hand was the only answer I'd get.

I checked my email constantly, waiting to hear from him. Edward was in my office more than usual, and I could tell he was completely wound up as well. By the time I left work, I needed a big glass of wine and a hot bath.

Alice and I talked for a few hours, even while I was relaxing in the tub. When the topic of Jasper spending the night came up – it wasn't like I'd tried to hide it from her – I reassured her that we were just friends. She knew that, of course, but I also understood her concern. I was glad it hadn't been a huge issue for her.

After our call was over, I curled under my covers again and called Jasper. I hadn't heard from him all day and I wanted to check in on him.

When his phone went to voicemail, I sent a text.

When my text went unanswered, I sent one to Edward.

I couldn't wait, though, and I called him just a few moments after pressing send.

"Have you heard from him?" I asked, my heart feeling like it might pound out of my chest with worry.

"No," Edward said. "You haven't either?"

Shit.

"No," I said. "I'm going over there. Hang on, I'm setting you down while I put some clothes on."

My throat felt tight with unshed tears as I threw on whatever I had closest to the bed, slipped into my shoes, and nearly ran to the door.

"Fuck it's cold," I said as I walked quickly down the street.

"Supposed to snow tomorrow," Edward said quietly. "Hurry, please."

I understood exactly what I meant and picked up my pace.

I didn't bother to knock on Jasper's door, I just jiggled the handle. It was locked and I fished through my huge jacket pockets to find my keys.

Fucking Jasper, locking his fucking door in the safest neighborhood ever.

Finally, the door was open and I rushed in, frantically calling his name and looking around. I started in the kitchen and made my way to the living room. I could tell he'd been home at some point, and I wondered if maybe he'd gone out to get something. My brain was spinning a thousand miles a minute creating safe scenarios of where Jasper might have been, and why he wouldn't have answered his phone or my text.

When I got to his bedroom and saw him sprawled on the bed, I panicked. My chest burned with each breath I took as I got closer. The reek of alcohol was almost wafting off of him, it was so strong.

"Bella?" Edward asked. "Did you find him?"

I hadn't realized I'd been whispering to myself, worried about if he was passed out or dead.

"Yeah. Shit, Edward. There's an empty bottle of Patron on his nightstand. He looks … okay, just like hell. I think he passed out."

His body moved slightly as I spoke, but settled back against the bed quickly.

"Jasper?" I said, nudging and trying to rouse him. "Jasper, are you okay?"

I began cursing and tears fell from my eyes down onto his body as I shook him harder.

"Oh Jasper," I whispered. "What the fuck did you do?"

I'd forgotten about being on the phone with Edward until I heard a loud pounding on Jasper's front door. Through the phone line, he began to plead with me to open the door and let him in.

Running as fast as I could, I let him in and we both sprinted back to Jasper.

"I just think he drank too much," I said. "I don't see anything else."

I left what anything else might have been unspoken. I'd never, ever thought Jasper could have been capable of doing anything to harm himself before that very moment. The seed of doubt crept in when he hadn't answered my call, and only grew larger as I saw him lie in front of me, still warm but lifeless, just like in my worst fears.

Edward's fingers wrapped around Jasper's wrist, clearly feeling for a pulse. Why had I been so stupid and not done that?

Once he was satisfied with whatever it was he felt, he pulled Jasper's arms, lifting his body to a sitting position.

"Jasper, can you wake up?"

His voice was frantic and held so much fear, it scared me even more.

Edward's voice vacillated from fear to anger back to fear and desperation. "Jasper!" he shouted. "Jasper, wake the fuck up, please."

When I saw wetness streaking down Edward's cheeks, I felt helpless.

"Do I need to call 911?" I asked.

"I don't know," Edward snapped. "Sorry. I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head. "Let's just try to get him up and lucid and we can decide from there."

Sitting on either side of Jasper, we talked and tried to get him to wake up. At some point, he began to move and slur. I wanted to both thank God and smack the shit out of Jasper.

"Jasper, wake up, honey," I said.

He mumbled a bit and lifted his head to look at me.

"Bellllllllllllllla."

"Yeah, J, it's me. Can you stand?"

"Don't want to stand," he said. "Want to layyyyyyy dooooownnnn."

"Jasper, how much of this bottle did you drink?"

"Edwarrrrrrrrrrrrddd," he slurred again, looking over at Edward. "I can see two of you."

"Answer me, please," he begged.

"Lots," Jasper said. "So good. Why are you two moving?"

"Bella, we need to get him into the bathroom. I think if he throws up, we'll be okay. If he passes out again, we should take him to the hospital. I don't want to risk alcohol poisoning."

Working together, we lifted Jasper off the bed. He continued to complain about the room spinning and moving, his body wobbling and swaying between us. Once we were there, Edward and I worked together to get him out of his work clothes and down his boxers. When Jasper started to complain about being dizzy again and needing to throw up, I left relieved.

It felt like he threw up forever, but with each heave, I felt more and more of my own ability to breathe returned. He'd be okay. We wouldn't need to go to the hospital. When Jasper could stand, we helped him back to his bed.

"I guess I'm going to go," I said quietly to Edward.

"No," Jasper groaned. "Stay. Both."

Edward and I flanked Jasper, and in the dark silence of the room, I let the tears slip from my eyes again.

"Edward, how'd you know he'd be okay if he threw up?"

"Alice has told you about Sasha, right?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"This is nothing compared to some of the nights I spent helping Alice with her."

"Fuck."

I thought I'd whispered it mostly to myself, but when he said, "Exactly," I just reeled.

My eyes began to close on their own, the endorphin rush I'd felt when I found Jasper having worn off, and I yawned.

"Goodnight, Bella," Edward whispered. "Thank you. For everything."

"Goodnight, Edward. Thank you for trusting me."

I knew exactly what he'd meant, and I hoped he knew just how deeply I was thanking him, in return.

In the morning, my entire body ached from over-exertion and sleeping in a tiny sliver of a bed. The only thing that saved the day was the glorious smell of coffee coming from Jasper's kitchen. I assumed it was Edward since Jasper's warm body was still snuggled into mine.

When I tried to leave, he pulled me back and I had a nanosecond of inner war again about whether I wanted to snuggle with him or punch him.

"You scared the fuck out of us," I said, giving in and letting him wrap his arms around me.

Jasper's voice was so small and child-like as he said, "I'm sorry."

A mug appeared on the nightstand in my line of vision and I looked up, meeting Edward's eyes. "Bless you," I said.

"You're welcome," he replied, quirking a brow in confusion.

"Get in here," Jasper said.

"There's no room," Edward replied.

"Fuck that noise," Jasper said. "You slept in here, crawl back in."

The bed jiggled as Edward complied.

"I'm sorry," Jasper said, turning to face Edward.

I followed, rolling and then shifting up on the bed so I could look at Edward's face.

"You can't do that shit, Jasper," Edward said.

I was glad he'd been less of a pansy than me.

"I know," Jasper said. "I have an appointment today with a grief counselor. I just ..."

He didn't need more words. We all knew. We all felt it. We didn't have to live through his experience to feel the deep grief and regret Jasper had.

The workday was long, and I cut out early, just after sending email to Edward to let him know he could do the same. I was eager to hear about Jasper's therapy session, and had asked him to check in with me after it. I called Alice to keep me awake on the drive home, and I wasn't at all surprised when her smiling face greeted me in my driveway.

"I love you," I said, practically collapsing in her arms.

"I know you do."