A/N: First and foremost, my unending gratitude to HookaShewz, who bought this for Fandom Gives Back (and is spearheading a team for FGB2, in case you're interested!). It was another piece I never expected to write, but turned into a very happy surprise. I really enjoyed revisiting these four, and I hope you do, too.

To my beta, TwilightMundi, you make it pretty and you make me laugh. Mostly, you make me feel like not so much of a bumbling idiot, and for that, I owe you endlessly.

All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

EPOV

I could hardly believe five years had passed since we agreed to move in together.

Of course, it didn't go nearly as smoothly as we all thought it would. What the fuck were we thinking, merging two households together? We somehow thought it would just be a snap – find an agent, get a house, move in, the rest would be bliss.

How wrong we were.

First, we had to find a reasonable explanation about why two established, married couples wanted to live together. Or so we thought. We spent several nights having dinner together, hashing out the plans of what we'd tell the agents, the bankers, everyone we would encounter.

And then? We realized that it didn't matter. As long as we knew how the home was being funded, it was no one's business what the details were.

We thought we were on the road again, but as we toured neighborhoods in the limited time we were all available, we encountered something else we hadn't anticipated: neighbors.

How the hell would we explain this to them? All it took was one nosy woman asking if we were going to be having, "... non-stop sex parties and orgies, or even worse, like those religious freaks on that show Big Love." She looked at Alice and Bella, eyeing them up-and-down, as if her filter had finally kicked in and she couldn't bear to ask why their hair wasn't up in a bun and their dresses weren't down to their ankles.

That nixed both the house and our plans.

Back at the drawing board, we decided our next step was to consider custom building. I wasn't making a ton of money yet, still paying off my student loans, but it was enough. Alice was also earning a sizable income, and although Bella stayed home, Jasper more than made up for the loss of her income.

Once we contacted a builder and discussed an ideal layout, though, we discovered we were looking at around a 12 month build schedule. With Alice pregnant, that wouldn't work – there was no way we could handle merging everything together with a newborn.

Finally, after Bella and Alice had spent plenty of their own time scouring different real estate websites, we found two houses for sale next to each other. They had a walkway between them, and once we'd looked at them, we knew they were perfect. We'd each have enough room that we could spend the majority of the time together, but if we wanted or needed privacy or space, we could have that, too.

Each house had enough space for a shared home office, a bedroom for the kids to share (or be alone if we were each in our own homes), and a very large master en suite, as well as the regular rooms. The house Alice and I selected had a larger master closet and a giant jacuzzi tub, and Jasper and Bella's home had a sitting area in the en suite, and a nicer kitchen, so there were pluses and minuses to each spot. Regardless, we were able to get through escrow and moved in (with the help of movers) within a few months.

As Alice grew larger, our nights fluctuated wildly. Some nights she wanted to be near everyone and couldn't get enough, and others she asked me to sleep over at Bella and Jasper's house without her, saying she wanted to hog the bed and rest as much as she could. Near the end, she wasn't sleeping much at all. We would curl up together in bed, my back against the headrest and Alice lying awkwardly between my legs. I would rub her belly or we would just talk softly for hours. It was then that I was most thankful for my time as a resident, having gained the ability to go through long stretches of time with very little quality sleep.

When she finally gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby boy, I think all four adults breathed a sigh of relief. We'd talked several times about how things were going to go, both as a couple and the four of us, and knew we were each done having children. Jasper and I went for vasectomies on the same day, and Bella took excellent care of us.

Things were comfortable, mostly, easy. We had a routine and we spent most nights eating, relaxing, sleeping, and more, together. We woke up as a family and that's how our children saw us. It was sort of an insulated Utopia most of the time. There were arguments and fights, especially when one of us was stressed at work, or if one of the children was sick and Bella was taking care of them. Jasper would get jealous of the time we got to spend together if he'd been away on a work trip, so we adjusted and tried to show him just how much we'd all missed him upon his return. But mostly? Bliss.

We'd agreed to keep our separate family units intact, legally, to make things easier, but Bella and Jasper were there when Peter was born, and we spent each holiday together, each birthday, every work milestone.

So it was strange, to say the least, when we came upon our first real roadblock to being a joined unit: Kindergarten registration.

There was no way we could register all four as Ben's parents, even though we all felt like Ben's parents. Alice and I kept an authorization for treatment in our wallets, in case he was ever in need of medical attention while in our care, and he felt just as much ours as Peter did. I knew Bella and Jasper felt the same about Peter.

"Bella, it's fine. You can't have us on the paperwork. Just let it go. We're going to come up against issues like this."

Trying to be practical about it, I weighed in as I ate some fruit salad. As if sending her son off to school wasn't nerve-wracking enough, Bella had to contend with what I knew was the guilt of feeling like she wasn't including us.

"Just be sure to list us as emergency contacts, and it should be fine," I reassured, again.

"What if he says something?" she asked in a whisper.

"Says something?"

"You know, like... what if he says something about all four of us?"

As I looked at her, I could see the pain on her face. She was so confused and lost, it seemed.

Walking over to touch her shoulder, I made eye contact as I spoke. "Then we'll deal with it. We agreed long ago that it wasn't anyone's business what goes on in our house. Will there be questions? I'm sure there will be. Maybe as Ben and Peter get older, we'll have to be more discreet, or rethink things, I don't know. For now, though, we'll just take things as they come."

Burying herself in my arms, she inhaled and as I held her close, I could feel the stress and tension in her body.

"Maybe we should homeschool..." she said, her voice muffled by my sweater.

Laughing, I tilted her back up to face me. "Are you kidding? You want to homeschool the boys?" My eyebrows lifted.

"No," she laughed. "I really don't."

Bella had made plans, once both boys were in school full-time, to work for Alice. She'd been unofficially helping her for years with some administrative work, and once Peter was out of the house, she'd be going into the office each day and earning a paycheck – something she said she very much looked forward to. She'd considered going back to being a chef, but the hours wouldn't mesh with our families and she was happy being a mom first, Alice's assistant second, and a chef again someday.

Over the next few months, we took a cruise and enjoyed each other for a full 10 days. We got Benjamin ready for Kindergarten. I took fewer shifts at the hospital and enjoyed being around Alice and Bella more, and Jasper tried as hard as he could to join us. He managed about half the time, which everyone was grateful for. We all knew he had only a few more months of working at the level he had for the past few years, and he'd reach a spot in his career where he could coast a little more.

By the time August rolled around, we were all anxious. There was a palpable nervousness in the air, but excitement, too. Even Peter kept asking when Ben would be gone to school, and repeatedly asked why he couldn't go with his brother.

I don't think any of us slept more than a few hours that night, each of us wanting to make sure we were awake and ready for Ben's first day. Bella made pancakes while Alice double-checked Ben's backpack, Japer made him a lunch, and I got him dressed. Eating breakfast together was a luxury we didn't get often, but Jasper, Alice, and I had taken the day off from work to see Ben off to school, and celebrate his first day once he was home.

As the six of us walked to the school, Alice, Peter, and I held hands, and Jasper, Bella, and Ben did the same in front of us. We kept an easy pace, chatting and waving to people as we walked by, and for the first time since we'd been on tours to find a house, I wondered what the neighbors thought. Attending the neighborhood social functions was slightly tricky, but doable as long as we kept a bit of distance from each other. Plenty of families were casually social, and we were next door neighbors, so we simply kept your hands to ourselves (as usual for public). The truth was, we each parked at our own homes, and the whole neighborhood was full of busy professionals; they probably simply never gave us a second thought.

Walking into the school, Bella knew the path to the classroom from orientation day, where Ben got to meet his teacher and find his cubby for his backpack and such.

"Look, Peter! This is my spot!"

Ben dragged his brother's hand over to the desk that would be his for the year, and began to show him all of the supplies already there. Alice and I followed Bella and Jasper up to the front of the classroom to meet the teacher.

"Mrs. Newton, nice to see you again," Bella greeted. "You remember my husband, Jasper?"

Once they'd shaken hands and exchanged a smile, Jasper stepped aside. I could see from the look in his eyes that he simply wanted to get this done and over, and he wasn't about to explain a single thing to this poor woman.

"This is Edward and Alice," he introduced.

"Very nice to meet you both," Mrs. Newton said as she shook our hands. "I'm sure Ben's going to have a great year. Is that little boy yours?" she asked, pointing to Peter as she spoke.

"This is my brother, Peter."

Ben stood proud and directed Peter's small body to the front of our group. Mrs. Newton's brow furrowed momentarily, but when Jasper shrugged and smiled, she seemed to do the same. If only everything in life was that easy.

"Okay, Ben, we're gonna go now so you can get started with your day. Give Pete a hug goodbye, sweetheart."

Bella leaned to hug and kiss him, then stepped aside so he could do the same with Peter. Watching them together was sometimes amazing, and sometimes very frightening for our future. They loved each other as brothers, but were also best friends. And worst enemies.

Alice was next with a quick hug and a kiss goodbye, and then Jasper, leaving me for last. Leaving Ben in the room was exponentially harder than I'd anticipated, and I saw the girls tearing up as we did. My chest tightened and for a brief moment, I wondered if I might cry, too. Jasper and I led the line out the door into the sunny morning, and I was grateful for my sunglasses. I noticed him conspicuously lowering his shades just as quickly as I had, and I smiled.

Peter had come outside with us, running and jumping on the grass in front of the school. In just one year, he'd be joining his big brother, and our house would become quiet during the day again. I tried not to linger on thinking about how it would impact all of us, the changing and shifting of dynamics, but I allowed myself a few indulgent moments of worry.

"Come on, Petey. Let's go see Bethany," Alice called.

"Bethany?" Jasper and I asked in unison.

Alice and Bella were walking ahead of us, each of them holding one of Peter's little hands.

"I called her up and asked her to babysit for us this afternoon," Bella explained. "I thought maybe we could use some time alone together."

"I'm not a baby!" Peter shouted.

"Of course not, little guy," Jasper said. "That's just what they call 'em."

His hands reached out to tickle the boy's sides, and I held my ground the single pace behind the four of them, observing and absorbing their dynamics.

"I thought Bethany went away to college?" I asked.

"She did," Alice said. "She came home for summer break and hasn't gone back yet. We lucked out and she's here for another few days."

I confess, my mind immediately went to the dirtiest places it could. A whole afternoon with the four of us, alone? Those were very rare. Fuck.

The rest of the walk was a challenge. It was a challenge to not run. It was a challenge to not suddenly have a raging erection for all of our neighbors to see. It was a challenge to not hoot and holler with glee.

Finally, we made it back to our houses. Bella and Alice took Peter to the other house to meet Bethany, while Jasper and I went to my house. Once we were inside, we walked to the living room and sat on the couch together. Any other time, the TV would have been turned on, some random sports program maybe, and we'd sit in companionable silence as we wound down from our days and family life. This time, however, we weren't just hanging out; we both knew there was a purpose for our being together, and from the look on Jasper's face, we were both eager.

Throwing my t-shirt over my head, I looked at Jasper and nodded for him to do the same. Standing, I pulled my shorts and boxers off, watching him repeat the actions. Once we were undressed, we sat back on the couch again, Jasper straddling my lap as we kissed. It wasn't soft or easy or slow; these were hard, needy, greedy, even.

We were so lost in each other, we didn't hear the ladies come into the house. Only when I saw them in my peripheral vision did I realize we weren't alone. Because of all the time we spent together, we had several large couches, and I tried to watch carefully (while still paying attention to Jasper) as they climbed onto the couch opposite us. Over his shoulder, I could see Alice climb on top of Bella, their bodies becoming easily wrapped up together.

Jasper's hand wrapped around me and I groaned softly as the sensations of his touch, combined with what I was seeing, overwhelmed me. As he stroked his hand up and down, his lips left mine and moved to my shoulder.

"What are they doing?" he asked quietly.

Taking a minute to simply observe, I concentrated on watching them instead of what Jasper's hands and mouth were doing. I tried, anyway. Alice was turned around above Bella, both of them seemingly submerged in pleasuring each other. In that moment, I very much envied their ability to have an orgasm and just keep going.

The passion and love between Alice and Bella simply radiated off their bodies, in their expressions and actions. I felt myself grow harder, and Jasper chuckled above me, bringing my attention back to him. My hands framed his face and brought him closer again, my lips sucking his between them. Nibbling, I teased him a bit before I let go and narrated just a tiny bit.

"Alice is above Bella," I said, practically panting. "They're in a sixty-nine position."

Jasper's hands were still wrapped firmly around my length as he scooted a little closer to me. His knees were on either side of my thighs, and I ran my hands up his upper-legs to the edges of his ass, then back to his knees as we kissed. Moving my hands to the inside of his legs, I drew them up his body again, finally wrapping my hands around him.

"I can't really see them both," I said as I slowly stroked. "Bella's head is tipped back between Alice's thighs; I can just see the outline of her chin sticking out. Alice is … Well, Alice is very busy," I said with a half-laugh. "She's using both of her hands from what I can tell, and I'm pretty sure we can both hear her."

It was true; Alice was being intentionally loud, it sounded like, but none of us would complain. The chance for us to be uninhibited and as loud as we wanted didn't come often. Between licking and sucking the areas of Bella's body she could reach, Alice was humming and moaning often at Bella's touch against hers. Soon, their noises reached the level such that Jasper and I realized they were going to come.

"Turn around," I whispered.

Complying with my request, Japer turned and leaned back against me. My arms went around his body and I continued to stroke and touch him as we watched the girls bring each other to orgasm, then carefully love and touch each other after. They spent several minutes kissing, having turned the same direction again, and for a brief moment, I wondered if they'd be done for the day.

I should have known better, though; this was Ali and Bella we were talking about, and since they'd arranged the afternoon, I knew they'd want as much as they could possibly get. Once they had a few more minutes of recovery time and looked over at us, it was as if their own private bubble had burst and they realized they weren't alone.

Walking to us, they sat beside us, their hands joining both of ours in the mix of touching and pleasuring. Bella's small fingers made their way up my body to my mouth, offering me a taste of Alice, and I groaned. My hips pressed up into Jasper and my teeth sank into his shoulder.

Soon enough, Bella was pushing a condom into my hand and Alice had the lube on the other side of us. I had to laugh. "What is it about women wanting to watch two guys together?" I asked.

"It's not just two guys," Alice said. "It's the two of you. The way you touch, the way you love each other, and the way you love us."

Reorganizing ourselves on the floor, Jasper got down on his knees in front of me, facing away from me. Alice was beneath him, her body the opposite direction from his, already stroking and licking him, her hands reaching up to touch and attend to me as well. Bella spread herself before Jasper and I could feel him adjust his body to lean down into her. Her legs were bent, feet touching Alice's, and I just observed again for a moment, watching us fall together automatically, no one arguing or contesting who was where.

Finally, I rolled the condom onto myself, more for ease of clean-up than anything else, and spread lube over my body and Jasper's. Alice's positioning made things tricky, but not impossible, and soon enough, I was pressing into Jasper. My hands gripped his hips, and Alice's covered mine, a small but significant gesture.

As we all moved together, I could hear the quiet whispers shared from each of us. They built to a crescendo when Jasper's mouth and fingers made Bella come again. Hearing her, knowing what they were doing, and feeling what Jasper's body was doing to mine, pushed me closer to my own peak. Alice's hands were still moving over mine, touching and stroking me, reminding me of our intimacy even in this moment.

Soon after Bella had screamed through her release, I heard and then felt Jasper coming. Alice's hands tightened over mine, and I lost it completely a moment later. Stilling my movements, I rode out my orgasm, concentrating on the feeling of pulsing inside Jasper, and our shared pleasure.

After we'd all caught our breath and laid together snuggling on the floor for a bit, someone suggested we relax in the jacuzzi tub and have lunch after. I could hardly believe how much time had passed, but we all knew our alone time would be quickly over.

Once the water was run and the tub was full with us in it, we sat and relaxed together. Even just this simple pleasure had become a scarcity, and I made a mental note to make sure we get more time all together from that point on. I knew it happened in every relationship, but there was no reason we couldn't work to bring things back to the point they'd been when we first moved in together, when we could never get enough of each other, especially the four of us together.

Bubbles and love surrounded us in the water, and we whispered quietly, laughed uproariously, and loved so fiercely in that moment. Without it being spoken and agreed upon, none of us had brought up any real life issues; we simply laughed, reminisced, and talked about the positive things in our life.

When we'd all turned into prunes, we climbed out and put our robes on. In the kitchen, we each pitched in to make a light lunch, then sat and ate together. The playful mood returned as we fed each other, kissed, and touched more.

"How long until our time is up?" I asked, wanting to mentally plan out the rest of the freedom we had.

Alice and Bella looked at the clock, then each other. "Only about an hour," Alice said.

"Well, we can do an awful lot in an hour," Jasper said. "Let's clean up later, come on." Standing, Jasper reached out his hands to what seemed like all of us. "I want to slow down this time, I miss all of you. All of us. This."

As he spoke, he was already opening everyone's robes. Leading us all back to the bedroom, I wondered exactly what he had planned – he only had two hands and one mouth, and with limited time, there were only so many things feasible.

Tossing our robes to the floor, we followed Jasper to the bed, climbing on after him. The three of us seemed to sort of compete to give Jasper the attention he was so strongly in need of, but after a few minutes, it was just useless. I tugged at Bella and we shifted to the end of the bed, our bodies tangling together in a familiar pattern. We kissed and touched slowly, softly, our goal not to bring each other to orgasm, but just to simply absorb as much of each other and provide the greatest amount of pleasure we could.

Somehow, after a few minutes, Jasper and Alice had joined us and the tangle of limbs grew again. Speaking softly, I began to position each of us into a sort of a square – I had Jasper and myself lying underneath each of the girls, at the opposite ends of the bed. Alice and Bella were above us simply because they weighed less. I wasn't sure how long we'd be in this position, but it seemed better to be practical and err on the side of caution, plus there was less choking hazard potential this way, I realized with a light laugh.

There were legs hanging off the bed, and it wasn't ideal, but there weren't many "ideal" positions that had all four of us together. Once we were situated and comfortable, I reached my hand to the center of our square and made quick eye contact with Jasper. His hand moved out to mine, and soon, the girls joined as well. We weren't just holding hands, we were touching, grabbing, scratching, and stroking, keeping the physical connection between the four of us.

Alice was above my face, legs spread and knees bent awkwardly because of the 90 degree angle. Bella was down at my lower half. The selfish side of me wanted to get an audio recording of us , so I could listen to the sounds we made in these moments together over and over again. The noises from the four of us wove a melodic song that, even in that moment, was something I craved. I knew each of them so intimately, and they me, that I could tell what their faces would look like, what their bodies were doing, and how they were riding their waves of pleasure, based mostly on the noises.

Keeping one of my hands in the middle, I used the other to touch and stroke as much as I could reach of both Bella and Alice. They were both touching me and it didn't take long for us to each reach orgasm. As one person came, they would snuggle up and cuddle with the rest of us, until we were once again a heap of bodies.

I was grateful we had a few minutes until Ben would be done at school and real life would invade again. Sharing the pillows, we touched and talked about the rest of the day.

"Movie?" I suggested.

"Maybe," Alice said. "Pizza for dinner, for sure. Maybe popcorn. More love. God, I've missed this. It's not the same without everyone." Her voice was wistful, sad, but hopeful, too. It wasn't that we had problems, it was simply a matter of having time.

We debated pizza toppings, movie choices, and things for the boys to do before Bella's phone chirped, an alarm she'd set to make sure she wasn't late.

"Alice and I can go get Ben. We'll just take a quick shower and you two can lounge a bit before you come over, okay?" Bella said.

Jasper and I curled together, nodding at them as they walked to the shower hand-in-hand.

"What a day," Jasper said.

"I know. We're so lucky. So lucky," I repeated. "We have so much, two great women, each other, two great kids." I sighed and pulled him closer.

"I worry," he confessed. "I worry about the kids, about my career. Everything."

In that moment, I felt the weight of his words, and the weight of his worry. I wanted to take it all away for him, but I couldn't.

"I know you do. I do, too, I just try not to let it rule me. We'll be fine. It doesn't matter what happens with your job, or with mine. Kids can be nasty, but I'm sure we'll make our way through okay. Ben and Peter will be fine; they'll need therapy for all the normal issues." I laughed and rubbed his arm, trying to comfort him as best I could.

"Do you ever think it would just be easier without me?" he asked in a whisper.

My body shot up and I sat in bed, turning to face him.

"Jasper, I seriously don't ever want to hear you fucking ask or suggest that again. Are you kidding me? You can't leave me with them!" I laughed again, my hands reaching out to take his and squeeze them lightly. "I mean, can you imagine? They'd run me over and things would be imbalanced and wrong. So very wrong. You're an important part of this, just like I am, and Alice, and Bella."

Feeling the word vomit rise in my throat, I tried to comfort him as best I could without overwhelming him.

"Baby, I know you worry, but this is what we have each other for. Talk to me more. If you need a night to yourself to think, or a guy's night, we can do that. Whatever you need, we're all here for you."

That Jasper ever considered himself a throw-away part of our equation saddened and scared me. My words had been genuine; there was no "us" without him.

Alice and Bella came out of the bathroom, dried off but still nude, and got dressed as we all four talked and did more planning for the night. When they'd left, I turned to Jasper again.

"I mean it, you know."

"I know you do. Thank you."

We took our turn in the shower, casually and comfortably washing each other. There was something different between us, and although I always knew I loved Jasper, it snapped into clarity that day just how much I needed him.

Walking together to the other house, we were quiet. Our bodies were close together, but no words were needed in that moment. Of course, once we got inside and within sight of both boys, it was mayhem. Ben tackled me to the ground and Peter did similar to Jasper. As we rolled and wrestled with our boys, I exchanged a glance with Jasper – a silent, "This is what you'd be missing." The small incline of his head, followed by his loving but tight grip on my biological son told me he knew everything he needed to be reminded of.

Later that night, after the boys had been bathed and tucked into bed, we shared pizza, popcorn, and Reese's Pieces. We snuggled close on the couch, and I sent up so many thoughts and hopes into the universe. When the bottle of wine we'd opened was empty, another followed, and then part of another.

We curled up on the bed, tipsy, sated (in more ways than one), and blissfully reminded of our love for each other. Hands crossed bodies, legs rested on hips and between other legs, and it was sweaty, blissful goodness. We talked about everything: politics, money, jobs, sex, sexuality, kids... It was the perfect ending to the night.

It was also perfect because it was us. The people in this house were the only ones I needed, forever.

A/N2: I would really love to know what you thought; leave me some review love, please! :)

My NSFW PicTease for Double Date, Chapter 2, behind the jump.

The Trip Home was honored with a Slash Award for Best Toy Play. Thank you to the ladies at The Slash Awards.

As you may have read in the most recent Paper Moon outtake, I made the decision to change some character names. I've been editing through Paper Moon from the start, and am currently up to chapter 10, although the names *should* be changed on each chapter they appear, even beyond 10 (I'm just not beyond 10 for grammar/content issues). The reason for the namechange was simple: when I began writing, I didn't grasp using actual people in my stories. I set this in a real location, and Facebook page stalked to grab real names. That wasn't fair to those people, and I've changed them.

Trina became Sasha
Brandy became Kate/Katie
Veronica became Victoria
Victoria that had spent the night with Jasper became Charlotte

Thanks for the understanding, and I apologize for any confusion! <3

A/N: First and foremost, thank you to AngelaofAlagaesia, who I owe so much to. Not only has she been one of my biggest supporters for like, ever, but she won me in the Fandom Gives Back auction, and then requested something I never imagined anyone would – a JPOV from Paper Moon. Thank you for loving these boys, AoA.

Thank you to my beta, TwilightMundi, who tolerates my drunken writing and turns it into something sober people can comprehend.

A quick note: If you're a long time reader of Paper Moon, you should know that I've gone back and edited some names. I will post on my blog with a "key" of sorts. When I began writing this, I based it on a real location, and also used real names of the people that worked there. I was still so new to writing and so I can blame this error on my newbie ways, but it was time to correct it. I've changed the names away from the real people that work and socialize there, to Twi- characters, as it should be. I appreciate your patience and understanding.

I own nothing except my dirty little mind. All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

[This chapter takes place mostly during Chapter 16, which is from EPOV]

JPOV

Tuesday – my favorite day of the week. What's not to love about Tuesdays? Monday's done and gone, work is lighter on Tuesdays, and best of all, Tuesday meant seeing Bella.

Most Tuesdays went the same – workout, breakfast, work, lunch, more work – then my day began. I would meet Bella at her house, where she was usually working on an early dinner. We'd talk about our days, and for this sliver of time, I could sometimes pretend that this was my life. This was the house I came home to. This was the woman that loved me the way I wanted and needed.

After we'd eaten and cleaned up, we'd carpool down to the equality center where we spent our Tuesday nights volunteering together. I would catch glimpses of her helping kids, either in a group setting or one on one.

That day, though, I was simply enjoying Bella's company as my best friend. We'd both been held up at work, so we couldn't get dinner before our time together. We agreed to meet at her place for the drive to the center. We hugged in greeting, then spent the drive chattering about our days and how things were going with Alice and Edward. It was nice to see Bella so happy and light.

When we arrived, Bella and I walked into the building hand in hand, as we sometimes did. This act no doubt confused any new staff or volunteers who would later find out that we weren't a couple, but it was just the way we were together. There was nothing remotely sexual about it – just two friends maintaining a physical connection.

Once inside, we met with the Director to find out how things were going. Because of Bella's pro bono work and my knowledge and expertise, we sometimes worked together with kids that had abusive homes, or needed more than just a safe place to hang out once a week.

Nothing needed immediate attention from Bella or me that day, so we wandered off to just hang with the kids and get our usual weekly things done. We each took on certain responsibilities to help with the functioning of the center. We did what we could in the community, with our time and money, to help give back to some of the resources we always wished had been available to us when we were younger and struggling.

Usually, I used this time to watch Bella. To observe the curve of her hip and the sway of her body as she walked. She would bend over a desk, revealing the swell of her breast, and I'd imagine my mouth below, capturing her nipple between my lips. Perhaps she'd sit at a desk, talking quietly on the phone, absentmindedly chewing the end of a pen, silently driving me insane. More than once, I'd been forced to retreat to the bathroom to adjust or relieve myself.

It was as if everything had shifted between us, though, and I saw her in a new light. I thought of Alice with her instead, and although I still required a slight adjustment (I'm a man, after all), I saw her differently. I saw the happiness that she radiated, the peace that she seemed to find overnight – these things that Alice had given her.

Mostly, though, I found my thoughts drifting to Edward.

What was he doing? How had his day been? Was he missing me, or thinking about me?

Deciding to be bold for once, I'd sent him a plant arrangement earlier in the day. I was overjoyed when I got an email from him thanking me. Knowing I'd need to work late, but not wanting to go another day without seeing him, I asked him to meet me for coffee the next night. When he agreed, I settled back into my comfort zone, knowing I'd see him again soon.

We'd talked about Edward's past and experiences with Adam the day before, and I felt such empathy for him. I could only imagine what it would feel like to have someone you'd once loved so deeply commit such an atrocity in the name of retribution. How could you ever even rationalize the whole relationship when someone did something so destructive and evil? I wondered when Adam had changed, or if he'd simply been a horrible person all along, and I couldn't help wanting to pepper Edward with clinical questions about him. I held back, though, giving him time.

It had been nice, albeit slightly Earth-shattering, to realize and acknowledge that my feelings for Bella had been misplaced all those years. When I heard Edward talking about Adam and reacted so strongly to seeing his pain, it clicked that my love for Bella had been something different. You couldn't force someone to love you back, and I'd simply held on for too long.

Shaking my head, I tuned back in to what I was working on. The night flew by, and soon Bella was finding me to make our way to dinner. I called Edward from the car to talk about our days. Even though we'd emailed back and forth several times, I still found myself missing him and wanting the same type of connection with him that I had with Bella. I wanted to talk to him even when I had nothing to say, really. His presence, even just on the phone, comforted and soothed me.

"Hey, J," he answered.

"Hello," I said, trying to keep the smirk from my voice. I'm sure I failed miserably.

"How was your night?"

"It was good. Mostly paperwork and boring shit, though I'm grateful for nights that don't involve drama," I said.

"I missed you today," he confessed. "I had a hard time concentrating on work when all I wanted to do was think about you."

This intrigued me. "Really?" I asked. All of this relationship stuff was so new. Thinking about someone, having them think about me. I wasn't sure anyone had ever genuinely missed me on a day-to-day basis, or expressed as much.

Edward hummed in acknowledgement, then said, "I just kept imagining us back in your bed."

They were words I'd never expected to hear from anyone – words referencing my bed – but somehow they didn't feel as scary as I thought they would. Again, I'd built them up to be way more in my head than they really were.

Reminding myself that Bella was in the car, I attempted to make my half of the discussion as vague as possible. "What would we do there?" I asked.

"I think I'd take my time with you," he said. "Investigate your body. Find your ticklish spots, maybe?"

Laughing, I responded, "Really?"

"Yeah, at least, that's where I'd begin. I don't want you laughing for too long, though. I'm sure I wouldn't be too tempted to waste my time with you like that anyway; we'd move on to the licking and nibbling and sucking rather quickly." His voice lowered slightly and got scratchy as he spoke. "You have such a nice, tight ass – maybe a little bite there, followed by a few more, with licks, up your back. Pinned beneath me," he mused. "That'd be interesting, no?"

My breathing had picked up, but I was still stuck in the fucking car with Bella. "Yeah," I said, exhaling.

"I kind of like torturing you with Bella there," Edward teased.

"Fuck you." I laughed, though, because I was enjoying his teasing, too.

"I sort of wish you would," he said, the teasing tone gone from his voice.

"Edward," I warned. It wasn't that I wanted to wait; I was ready. Hell, I was always ready. But I knew enough, enough about people and human nature, as well as enough about Edward, to know that he wasn't quite there yet.

"I know, I know," he sighed. "I'll let you get back to Bella, Jasper. See you tomorrow?"

"Yep," I confirmed. "I can't wait."

"Me either. Goodnight, Jasper."

"Goodnight, Edward."

Hanging up, I let my head rest back against the seat and closed my eyes. The rest of the ride was quiet. After a few minutes, I wondered what Bella was thinking about since it wasn't like her to be so quiet, but couldn't find it in myself to speak just yet, partially out of fear it was something negative about Edward and me. When we got to the restaurant and Bella had parked, I adjusted myself and gave my full attention back to Bella.

We walked inside and got a small table. I could sense she wanted to talk, so we spent the first few minutes concentrating on our menus, then tucked in to the conversation once we'd ordered. I watched as her eyes flickered in the candle light and soaked in the camaraderie of our friendship at that moment.

"So, are you excited about your date tomorrow?" I asked.

Bella's smile stretched ear-to-ear. "You have no idea."

"Where are you taking her?"

She tucked her hair back out of her face, sipping her iced tea before answering. "Melting Pot."

"Fun," I said. "All that chocolate. You girls are so into that dipping fondue shit," I teased.

"Oh, please, you love it when we go there. How are things going with Edward?" she asked. "Sounded pretty serious there on the phone."

"Things are going..." I paused to think about how I wanted to phrase it. It wasn't that I wanted to hold back, but I knew how Bella had reacted so far to whatever was happening with Edward, and I wanted to tread lightly. "Things are going well, actually. Who knows what will happen, but I promise I won't let it affect things for you at the office."

"Jasper, you know I care more about you than that. It's not about the office, it's about my best friend."

She reached across the table and grabbed my hand, holding it in hers. Our food arrived and we began to eat as we continued to talk.

"So how's work?" she asked.

"Ugh. Same problems, different day."

I'd been worried about a few of the kids, teens. One of them was a young girl that had been committed by her parents because of her depression, the other a boy a few years older. He'd been brought to our facility due to his anger and aggression with his parents and teachers, as well as a recent suicide attempt and some minor drug use. They'd formed a bond of friendship, and while that was usually encouraged, they were both in fragile emotional spots. As I saw them growing closer, the potential for disaster became sharper as well.

Bella knew I couldn't talk to her in specifics about the kids I helped, but sometimes I gave her vague information. It helped for me to have a safe place to talk, especially since she understood the legalities of me not saying much; she never questioned when I held back information because of similar attorney-client privileges in her work.

"There are these kids I'm worried about. I see them getting closer, and the way they look at each other... I can tell there's something more forming, you know?"

She nodded, taking another bite and humming in affirmation.

"I don't see how this can end well. Two kids in treatment so young. But what are my choices? I can't separate them, it's a small, semi-locked facility." I sighed. I'd worked in same-gender wards before, and the complications were so different there. Sure, we had sexual tension at times, and there was far more competition among certain girls for who was the most broken, or the thinnest, or whatever the case was that week.

"Plus, they push and encourage each other. At least, they have so far. He draws, and she encourages him to keep doing that, which is a good form of therapy and coping for him. They asked for privileges to go on a date together. A date! I mean, I know we can't stop teenage hormones, but..."

"Jas, baby, you're doing all you can. You care more than most people at that place, you know that. You're not just going through the motions; you care. You're giving pieces of yourself to these kids every day. It's not easy. I couldn't do what you do, which is why I fight my battles in court. At least there, I know I have a chance."

We ate in silence for a few minutes while I thought about the kids. My job was never easy, but I also tried to let it stay at the office. If I didn't, it would eat at me non-stop. There was a sort of routine to my life for a reason, my own coping mechanisms at work.

"Birthday party, huh?" I asked, shifting gears in the conversation.

"Don't remind me," she said, but was smiling that Cheshire cat grin again. "You're coming, right?"

"Of course. You know I wouldn't miss the chance to watch you squirm. Rose going?"

Bella nodded. "And Alice and Edward's brother, Emmett. Have you met him?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "Edward and I have talked about him a little, though. He seems like a nice guy."

"Yeah," she said.

Watching her carefully as she finished eating, I noticed how deep in thought she was. I hadn't realized how well I'd learned to read her emotions, but there they were, all written across her face in the form of crinkled eyebrows and downturned, pouty lips.

"What is it?" I prodded. "And, do you want dessert?"

"No thanks, no dessert. And I just..." she paused and sighed. "What if I fuck this all up, Jasper? What if I can't be what Alice needs me to be? Never mind that it's only been barely a week. Who moves this insanely fast? It's like my common sense has gone out the window."

"You'll never know if you're going to fuck it up if you don't at least try," I said. "It's fast, sure, but who knows? All this time, you and I have done things a different way and it hasn't worked, right?" I waited for her to nod, then continued. "So maybe this is how it's supposed to be."

The rest of the night was quiet. Bella drove us back to our street and we parted ways without much fanfare. Exhausted from both work and volunteering, I collapsed into bed without even undressing. Thankfully, I got a full and restful night of sleep.

Work was shit the next day, and I anticipated my coffee date with Edward the entire time. I couldn't get out of work fast enough, and I was the first to arrive. As Edward walked in, I enjoyed the indulgent moment of watching his body move, seeing him interact with the barista, and then watching him stride toward me. A mix of emotions was bursting through me, but when Edward greeted me and asked me to tone my behavior down, I was immediately angry. I'd finally taken the next step with someone and he was asking me to go backwards? Hell no.

Asking if he'd missed me, I pouted a little and hoped to ease the tension. Then he asked when the last time I'd been out with a guy was, and I almost lost it.

"Never. Why does it matter?"

"Jasper, you've never been out, like on a date out, with a guy?"

"I don't tend to ask them on dates, Edward." The sting of the reminder that we were venturing into new territory didn't help the tension. Was he trying to throw it in my face that I was a fuck-them-and-leave-them type?

"You have no concept of what it means to be out," he whispered. "You get to lead this easy life with Bella, and everyone assumes you're straight. You take all of this for granted. You reach for my knee under the table, run your eyes over my body as I'm ordering my coffee, and don't give it a second thought. Do you know what it's like to have to fear that someone is going to hurt you because of who you love, Jasper?" His voice was still low, but so very full of anger. "Have you ever had someone hurl a homophobic comment at you, and then worry they will follow it up with their fists? Ever walk down the road and want so badly to hold your boyfriend's hand that it aches, but know that if you walk by the wrong person or people, the hate they spew will suck the joy of the moment right out? You take for granted what the outside world is like for us."

After his diatribe, I took a deep breath and composed myself. Knowing I couldn't keep the seething anger from my voice, I tried to select my words carefully.

"I might not have firsthand experience being 'out and proud' in public with someone, or hiding who I am, but have you completely forgotten what it is that I do every day? I hear about kids whose parents will never accept them because of who they are. I spend my Tuesday evenings volunteering at a center where they practically glare at me the entire time. Do you know how many comments I've heard about 'picking one side or the other'? I'm like the fucking redheaded step-child of the community. People look down on me from both sides! The breeders don't like me because I like cock and the fags think I'm derailing their efforts to be accepted by being wishy-washy." I knew I was saying hurtful, hateful things, but once I began, it was as if I couldn't stop; all the years of pain and hurt I'd felt, in a community that was supposed to embrace me, came falling out.

"No one accepts me for straddling both words, and so I get left out of both. Well, more like kicked out. Yet, here I am, giving my time, my energy, my money. I go to every Pride parade, I never pretend I am anything but who I am. And, fuck you, Edward, for implying that I should live my life differently. How is anyone supposed to get used to this reality and this world if you're constantly cowering in the corner with your Abercrombie smile, pretending so hard it hurts? If I want to hold your hand, I'm gonna grab it, I don't give a fuck where I am." I leaned a little closer to him. "If I want to kiss you, I'm gonna do it, because that's who I am. I try my damnedest to live an authentic life, and I've never been ashamed of being who I am. Not when I was whoring it up, and certainly not now that I might have an actual boyfriend."

As I spoke about the lack of acceptance of bi-sexuals in our community, and how I'd never hidden from anyone exactly what my preferences were, the anger only got greater. Not only did I have to deal with this every day from my colleagues, the volunteers at the center, and sometimes even myself late at night when I tried and tried to convince myself it would just be easier to be straight, but the guy I was falling for quickly wanted a piece of this fight, too?

When I was done speaking, I reached across the table to kiss him. I wanted him to know just how out I wanted and needed us to be. I couldn't hide who I was any more than I could hide that I was a man.

And so, I laid down the gauntlet right there at the table, before I got up to leave.

"If you can't handle that, maybe you need to rethink dating me."

The sadness crept up and over me as I walked out. Was I leaving the best thing I'd ever found? Would Edward understand, or hate me? I had to have faith that my demonstration would prove effective and worth it.

The entire drive back to work, I cursed and talked to myself out loud. Unable to call the one person who might understand, I worked until my phone rang, bringing me from my haze of thoughts. Listening to his voicemail, my heart clenched. As I paced the office, I thought about what the right thing to do was. He'd called and apologized; he made the first step. Wasn't it my turn, now, to be an adult and try to repair things? I knew I didn't want to discuss it via text, or even over the phone, so I took a chance and texted him back with a single word: address?

Surprised Edward lived so close, I knew it would only take me a few minutes to arrive at his doorstep. I checked my email one last time, dealt with the remaining paperwork I had to get done, and walked out the door a few minutes later. Taking my time, I drove carefully, not wanting to let my anger get the best of me.

When I arrived, I pushed past Edward and walked into his living room, taking a quick moment to survey his apartment.

"What you said today, it was completely unfair," I practically barked out.

"I know," he said quietly.

"I can't live like that, Edward." I was exasperated, using my hands to talk and gesturing wildly. "I can't go out to dinner with you and pretend. Or to the park. Or to your office."

Something deep inside of me wanted everything. I wanted it all, and I realized it right then. I didn't want a quick fuck anymore, I wanted real and true and passionate and everything, even if it meant fights like this. It would be worth it, I knew.

Edward's eyes softened as he spoke again. "I know." His body was slack, almost as if folding in on itself. The pain radiated from him, and only then did it occur to me that it wasn't as though Edward was ashamed. He'd been hurt, down to his very foundation, by the person he had trusted the most. He'd had his secrets (and lies) shared with everyone and anyone that would listen. Empathy bubbled to the surface, followed quickly by the need to reconfirm what we had. What we were. What we were becoming.

Pushing him against the wall, I pinned his body with mine, repeating important words to me. Reiterating what I wanted. Demanding what I needed.

"Edward, I don't want to pretend. I like you." Kissing him for emphasis, I almost gave in to my lust, and gave up the fight. But I carried on. "If I want to kiss you in public, I don't want to have to stop myself." I really, really didn't. When we were out, whose right was it for anyone else to tell us it wasn't okay to express our love in the exact same manner as straight people did? "I don't care who knows that I like you." Or more than like you, I thought. "Bedroom?"

My hips pressed to his, my arousal and desire evident, as I waited patiently for him to either navigate me to the room or tell me where it was. Finally, he seemed to realize what I said, and took my hand. Slowly, we walked as we unbuttoned, pulled down, and removed clothing.

As Edward fell to the bed, I collapsed on top of him, removing the last of our clothing. His hands shot to the drawer next to us, then produced a condom and a bottle of lube. Thankful our desire for each other was mutual, I groaned as he stroked me a few times, then unrolled the condom onto me.

Reaching out, I grabbed the bottle of lube and slicked my cock. Watching Edward, I tried to think about what I was doing, perhaps slow down. I wanted our first time to be so different, not just the same fucks as the others had been, but I was desperate for that connection.

Bending his legs, I spoke softly and whispered reassurances to him. Maybe even more to myself than him, but they were out there, out of my head, and into the universe. Placing the head of my dick where I wanted it most, I teased him for a moment. Just the tip sank in, and I shifted his legs so I could press my weight down on him a little more. I wanted to really be connected to him in that moment; intimately connected, not just fucking.

When he begged me, I held back from pushing straight in, still wanting to take my time. Easing more of my weight onto him, consequently pushing myself further in, I heard him groan softly. When he begged a second time, I couldn't help it.

"Please what, Edward?" I asked, knowing exactly what he meant.

"Please fuck me, Jasper," he said.

His voice was so confident, and so full of the same need and desire I felt. Watching him, eyes closed, face and body so full of pleasure, was amazing. But I wanted to see him, to look into his eyes and connect again in another way.

"Open your eyes, Edward," I commanded.

When he didn't, even after I repeated my request, I began to pull out tortuously slowly. The smile on my face grew when he finally opened them; he was just as shattered and needy as I was. It was perfect. He was perfect. In that moment, the both of us together, perfect.

Moving again, pressing into him, he grasped my face. Edward was frantic, needy with his kisses. His desire was obvious as I pushed further and sank into him. Carefully, I began to set a slow, enjoyable pace. Needing to make our connection in this sense last longer than a minute or two, I drew out the pleasure for us both.

Our mouths met in soft, warm kisses. My body pressed against his, and I felt his hand snake between us; the thought that he was going to stroke himself as I fucked him almost sent me over the edge. Holding on by the thin ledge of desire, I thrust harder and deeper, hopefully taking him closer with me. Finally, when I could hold on no more, I let go and stilled my movements. It was the sweetest moment I'd had with anyone, except perhaps Bella.

As I withdrew my body from his, I began to playfully nip at his neck. Slowly turning my nibbles harder, I was surprised he wasn't reacting. Suddenly, he seemed to come back to what we were doing, and he slapped me lightly.

Edward's lips met mine again, soft and slow. We kissed and touched, and loved each other for several minutes, and I couldn't help my brain comparing and contrasting with my one other loving, intimate experience again. When Edward asked if I was okay, I genuinely wasn't sure how to answer. Sure, on the surface I was fine, but I knew this experience with him had deeply and profoundly changed me.

His fingers tugged through my messy locks, twisting and playing as his nails scratched lightly. I wanted to purr, to hum, to show my appreciation in some way, but I was tangled in my thoughts still. Edward was caring for me in the exact way I needed without asking for anything in return, and just loving me as I was. Accepting me, and still wanting me, flaws and all.

As if someone flipped a switch, I felt back with him in that moment, his words from our phone call the other day snapping into my head. Grinning wickedly, I asked, "Edward, did you say something the other day on the phone about fucking me?"

My cock practically leapt with joy, even though it was entirely spent, when he replied. "I did, and I still do intend to fuck you, Jasper. Are you ready?" Hell. Fucking. Yes. I was ready. I hummed and he rolled us.

Surprising me again, Edward didn't move in for the kill. He was sweet and soft, kissing my face, my entire face, and then my neck and shoulders, moving on to my nipples. As he licked and blew his cool breath across them, I moaned softly. When he shifted lower, I got momentarily confused. Only when he pulled my legs off the bed, moving my torso to where he wanted it, and giving me a confident, sexy smirk, did I understand.

"Jasper, roll over and grab me a condom, please?"

I was glad for a moment of payback, and I took my time rolling the thin latex onto him, then stroking his cock up and down. Twisting my hand around his length, I watched his face as he reacted to what I was doing, and felt a sense of pride. When I'd had enough, I let go and laid back on the bed, more than ready for him. What would he look like as he came, I wondered. What next step of intensity would this bring to what was happening between us?

His hands trailed up my legs, touching and twisting against my skin, and he raised my legs to be flush against his body. Just this simple move, repositioning of our bodies, was so infinitely sexy. That he trusted me so much, and that I was letting him. He could have done anything in that moment.

Edward's nails scratched lightly across my balls, and my back arched up off the bed. He was teasing me in the best and worst ways, and I practically begged him to stop. Of course, he just continued further, bringing his hand to my body and teasing me more. It was a delicious, slow tease, just like I'd done to him. Deciding to lay back and allow someone to pay attention to my body, I relaxed and began to enjoy myself immensely.

Moments later, I felt him press against my lower half and move into me. It was exquisite, the only word I could think in that moment. Edward moved his body faster than I had, fucking me harder and less controlled, and that was just fine with me. Teasing him right back, I tightened my inner muscles around him several times, enjoying the feeling of his length sliding in and out of me, and the contrast and change I could provoke just with this small movement.

His body changed and shifted, and his thrusts became deeper, harder. I couldn't help the noises I was making; he was driving me insane. Stroking myself, I watched his face move and contort with the effort of our coupling. When I felt his hand cover mine, I knew I'd be done with, and very soon. Impressed with my own stamina, I gripped myself tighter and felt him do the same.

There was no time to grab a tissue, even if I had known where they were, and I came all over my stomach and chest. Edward muttered a few words, then slowed his movement. As he pulled back, the sensation of him leaving my body left me aching on every level.

Watching him get up and leave the bed, presumably to go to the bathroom, I found tissues and cleaned myself up quickly. While he was gone, I burrowed under the covers, making myself quite at home. Nearly asleep, I felt Edward's body slide in beside mine. He asked if I could stay the night, and I was too exhausted to show just how happy that made me, so instead, I gave a short answer and kissed his shoulder lightly.

Drifting to sleep, all I could think about was Edward. There was so much ahead of us, but we'd already progressed through several stages of a real relationship. For once, the urge to leave wasn't there. I didn't want to run, I wanted to be right where I was. I wanted to be there for a very long time, and although it scared me, the fear wasn't overwhelming. Two thoughts crossed my mind as I began to feel myself pulled under the haze of sleep: I couldn't wait for my real date with Edward the next day, and I couldn't wait to call Bella and not only talk to her about her date with Alice, but share with her the crushing happiness and hope I felt.

I am SOCLOSE to being done with this outtake. Tonight or tomorrow, for certain. Here's a little teaser for your patience.

“Hey, J,” he answered.

“Hello,” I said, trying to keep the smirk from my voice. I'm sure I failed miserably.

“How was your night?”

“It was good. Mostly paperwork and boring shit, though I'm grateful for nights that don't involve drama,” I said.

“I missed you today,” he confessed. “I had a hard time concentrating on work when all I wanted to do was think about you.”

The adorable uhyesplease has reviewed/recommended Yoga Master at The Lemon Sisters blog today. Check it out!