A/N: Thank you to my beta, TwilightMundi, who always makes time for me. I could never thank her enough for everything she does. Thank you also to kimpy0464 and SweetDulcinea for their eagle eyes. You make me giggle.

Thank you to Aspenleaf, who did a little "sanity check" on my med school info here and almost made me fall off my chair I was giggling so hard at her comments.

All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

"You need to do your lip, it makes me too scared," I said, handing the razor back. "Besides, I think I've found something that needs my attention more."sane

Folding my towel beneath me, I dropped to my knees on the floor.

Showing Edward how much I loved him, both physically and emotionally, was just one of the things I had grown to appreciate about our relationship. I felt safe with him, loved, and I felt his caution with my heart and soul so fully.

When we'd finished in the bathroom, we got dressed in sweats and went out to have what was left of breakfast. We were both starving, and Carlisle just raised an eyebrow when Edward said it out loud. Certain I was as bright as a tomato, I buried my head in Edward's shoulder and vowed to try and set my alarm for the next morning.

Watching Carlisle and Esme work together in the kitchen that afternoon, prepping food for Christmas dinner, was surreal. Edward was at one end of the long couch and I was curled into his arms, pretending to read.

"It's always like this?" I whispered to Edward, hoping he'd know what I meant.

While I waited for him to answer, I pressed back into him a bit more, tilting my head to kiss his neck. His arms wrapped around me and I lingered with my lips on him.

"Yeah, kind of," he said softly. "I mean, after Anna died, it was awkward for a long time. No one could be happy without guilt, I guess. But there was no bringing her back, no amount of guilt would change anything. It wasn't some big kumbaya family moment, things just slowly shifted into happiness again. I know it's not cool, but I love seeing them so happy. I want to be that happy with you in thirty years."

Turning his head, his lips met mine and we kissed slowly, carefully. It wasn't meant to turn into anything more than a shared moment of intimacy on the couch in the middle of the living room, and I loved it. Our own bubble of privacy, within earshot of family. Jake and I never had that, and I never even realized it was missing from our relationship. Like so many other things, I thought.

Nuzzling my nose against his neck, I wound my arms up and around the same spot, turning myself in his arms. Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine us in this cabin, the grown-ups in charge. I smiled, there was no way to stop it, and sighed.

"I want to do that to you someday, by the way," he whispered.

"Hmm?" I hummed in question.

"Shave you."

Those two words woke me up and tore me from my daydreaming of a family, plunging my thoughts straight down into the dirty again. Giggling, I kissed his cheek and looked him in the eye.

"I think I'd like that."

"Gonna add it to your list?" he asked.

"Yep, I sure am. It's sort of morphing from a discovery list, don't you think?"

He just shrugged and went back to his reading, proving that he was, in fact, male.

After lunch, Esme asked me to go grocery shopping with her while the boys reloaded the firewood and did … boy things. I was eager, excited to have that motherly-figure bonding time, even if she did intimidate me just a little.

We had fun, browsing the aisles of food and checking things off from her list. We talked about almost everything – Edward, Anna, Carlisle, my parents, Jake. It felt so easy and comfortable to talk to her.

When we were back at the cabin, there was a huge fire in the hearth, and I spent a bit of time texting back and forth with Rose and Alice. They were both past the nervous phase of meeting their significant others' families, and enjoying some relaxation, which was nice to hear. Of course, they each knew and loved Carlisle and Esme, so I passed on hellos to them from the girls when I was done.

For dinner, we had homemade pizza and each got to pick our own toppings, which was fun. We all got involved, rolling our dough and making a mess in the kitchen. Christmas music played throughout the cabin, and it felt so much like the cliché movie Christmas, but absolutely perfect for them. There was nothing trite or overdone, and I knew this was just how they always were.

When we were finished with dinner, Esme made cocoa and we sat around the tree watching the lights and talking. I sat between Edward's legs, and Esme curled up between Carlisle's, in an oddly youthful move. It still struck me as odd to see them so affectionate with each other, never having experienced any stable, comfortably-in-love grownups before. Each of us shared a memory and then a wish for the new year, since we'd be apart from them when the New Year came around.

Edward's was that he'd make it through the next year with most of his sanity intact, and Carlisle nodded in his direction in understanding and empathy. Esme wished that we would visit her more often. Carlisle's wish was quiet, and obviously had been thought about long before we'd gathered that night – he wished for us to be as happy as he and Esme were, apart or together, whatever it meant for us. As for me, I wished for something that felt silly, but serious – I wished that my summer would be spent enjoying Edward.

When I saw the look on his face, I realized that we had more to talk about, and it made me worried. Was he already trying to figure out a way to get rid of me?

Per the Cullen tradition, which I was informed of that night, we got to select one gift to open from under the tree.

"Oh crap, I didn't put any of mine under there. I was going to do it tonight, when everyone was asleep."

Laughter and shrugs went around the group, and they decided it didn't matter since there were plenty of other gifts to open.

Carlisle went first, opening a box from Edward. It was a gift card to his favorite movie theater in Chicago.

"He loves movies," Edward said from behind me, nuzzling my ear lightly.

The motion distracted me, and I wondered if he had anything planned like the night before.

Esme opened a gift next, one from Carlisle. It was a beautiful watch, apparently one she'd had her eye on for some time, and she let out a few tears as they shared a moment together. She was so genuine when she thanked him, and suddenly I worried my gifts for them weren't enough. It wasn't as though I had time to change them, though, and Edward had reassured me several times they'd be fine.

I opened a box next, from Edward. It was a gift card to the cafe, with a beautiful note attached. He'd gone into detail about how much he enjoyed seeing me there, or meeting me there to study. Leaning back into him, I turned my head and kissed him gently. It was such a small gift, a simple gift, really, but it held such meaning for me.

Edward opened a box from his parents, and I was surprised at what was inside: a beautifully framed black and white photograph of us from just a few days before. We were playing in the snow and we looked so carefree and in love. From the angle, I could tell it had been taken from inside the house. I was deeply touched that one of them had taken it, as I didn't yet have any photographs of the two of us together.

"You don't get it, it's mine," Edward said.

Pouting, I stuck my lip out. "But it would be perfect for my board."

"I have more," Carlisle interjected. "That was just my favorite, so I had it blown up for you."

"Thank you," I said, then got up to hug each of them.

The four of us sat quietly finishing our spiked cocoa. There was a hum of sadness, though, a very quiet undercurrent from each of us. We'd all experienced such profound loss in different ways, but we each could understand and relate. Edward was warm and comfortable behind me as the music played and we snuggled.

"What's your favorite Christmas memory, Scone Boy?" I prompted once his parents had gone to bed.

"This one," he said quietly.

"How come you've never brought any girls home before?" I asked. "I mean, I know you weren't a monk before me..."

"Easy. I've never loved anyone like I love you."

"Never?"

Edward turned my face to look at him, and I could see a smile there, my smile. "Never. Now, what's this about enjoying me all summer?" he said. "I kind of like this plan..."

We laughed, and repositioned ourselves, me curling up in his lap, straddling him. His arms were wrapped around me and we talked that way for a bit. It was slightly awkward, but also very personal, so close to each other, so much of our bodies in contact without it being sex. Intimate.

"Well, what do you have to do for school? Do you have doctory things?"

His laugh vibrated through my body. "Doctory things? Coffee Girl, I'm not a doctor yet."

"I know, but it feels just around the corner."

"Oh God," he moaned. "Please remember that when you've not seen me in days and I've got circles under my eyes darker than coal.

"Seriously, Bella, my summer is mine, for now. This will actually probably be the last free summer I have for awhile."

"Really? Well, I was thinking..." I paused, wondering how to phrase it in my head. "What would you say to a little road trip? A reverse of my trip out to New Hampshire? Or maybe a new path, heading out on our own for a bit."

"You'd want to do that with me?" he asked.

Nodding, I smiled against the skin of his shoulder. "Yeah."

"Even though I'm such a horrible radio hog?" he teased.

"Well, we'll obviously need to set down some ground rules."

My hands went up into his hair and I scratched at his scalp a bit, one of the best ways I knew to calm and soothe him. He hummed, almost purred, and rested his head against me.

"You take such good care of me," he said softly.

"I've never loved anyone like I love you," I confessed.

His hands warmed my back and sides, and we stayed quietly embraced for several minutes. Finally, Edward broke the silence.

"Bedtime?"

Humming against him, I nodded a bit. I felt so tired and relaxed, I wasn't even sure I could stand. Edward got up first, though, offering me his hand. When our bedtime routine was over and he was curled up in bed, I dug out my gifts for everyone and made my way back to the giant tree, still lit up and twinkling in the night.

I took my time to place them just right, along with the other wrapped packages, then sent up a small prayer. Somehow looking at the tree felt almost like a religious experience to me – reverent and holy. I prayed for Charlie, for the unexpected time I had with him after Renee was gone. We shared special moments and though I missed him, I always heard his voice in my head guiding me when I was worried or afraid. I prayed for Renee, too, and for the time before she died. She was sick, but we'd made the most of it, and she told me repeatedly just how much she'd loved me.

I prayed for Phil, too. I'd seen firsthand what watching my mom die had done to him, taking him from a vibrant young man to someone with wrinkles and grey hair before his time. Part of me prayed he would find love again, and be happy. He deserved it for the way he'd worshipped my mom and loved her beyond expectation through her illness.

The thought led to prayers for Esme and Carlisle, even Edward, and for their shared loss. Edward didn't talk about his sister often, tearing up when he did, but I always felt his love for her when he did.

The very last prayer I said that night was one just for me. I prayed that someday, my family would be as whole and complete as theirs had been. Wiping the last tear that fell from my face, I stood and went back to bed. That night, I stayed wrapped in Edward's arms the whole time, despite the fact that it was uncomfortable and way too hot at moments. I just needed him closer.

Waking to Edward kissing me gently made me smile against his mouth even before my eyes had opened.

"I smell my mom's gingerbread waffles; you don't want to miss those," he said.

"Coffee," was my reply. "Must. Have. Coffee."

My post-bedtime tree moment had cost me in sleep, but it was worth it. Edward was right, Esme's waffles were fantastic, and she'd even made fresh whipped cream to go on them.

When everyone was full and happy, we made our way to the tree. I thought about how Christmas took on a different meaning once you were an adult; no longer did it require pre-dawn wake-ups and tearing through paper. There was a quiet peacefulness about us again, as we sat together and passed boxes and envelopes.

Edward and I sat side-by-side, sneaking kisses and nuzzles between gifts. I was surprised but not shocked when Edward's parents had a gift for me under the tree, as well. It was a beautiful leather-bound journal, and I shed many tears when I opened it and flipped through the pages quickly, letting the new paper smell waft up to me. Greedy for more, I lifted the book to my face and inhaled, the leather mixing with the paper and I smiled widely, my eyes closed.

"You okay?" Edward asked quietly, I assumed out of earshot of his parents.

"Yes, I love it," I said. I got up from my spot and hugged Esme and Carlisle as hard as I could. "Thank you. It's perfect."

Unsurprisingly, Edward coordinated with them and got me a beautiful pen. That he'd remembered several weeks ago when I mentioned how I missed writing in a real, paper journal, was significant to me. I was busy test writing in my journal when he leaned over. His warmth and scent comforted me, and I turned to look at him as he peered over my shoulder.

"Maybe you can put your list in there?"

Nodding, I shrugged. "Yeah, my other notebook is getting a little ragged. Thank you for this," I said, pausing to kiss him. "I really love how thoughtful you are. I have one more gift for you, but it's for later."

He hummed and kissed me again, much more purposefully that time. His lips still against mine, he said, "I have one more for you, too," and we went back to enjoying the morning. Once the gifts were all unwrapped and the paper cleaned up, Esme began to cook. Edward helped her and I lounged on the couch, transferring my list and making sure to add Edward's recent request to shave me.

My smile was uncontainable as I traded texts again with Alice and Rose, each of us exchanging gift information. I also sent a friendly text to Jasper, Emmett, and Tanya, just to wish them each a merry Christmas.

Before long, the kitchen began to smell wonderful, and I was eager to have dinner. Helping out by setting the table, I sang along with the carols playing and found myself quite in the Christmas spirit, which surprised me. Even before everything that had happened, I'd never been a huge fan of Christmas. Now, it seemed inextricably linked to some of my favorite memories. Not just new memories, but memories I'd carry with me for a lifetime.

We sat and ate together, something my family had never done, but I'd done each meal with the Cullens. It was delightful, full of conversation, jokes, and banter. Edward's hand rarely left my body, sometimes touching my leg, or my face, or holding my hand.

Once the sun had set and we'd gone through a few bottles of wine between the four of us, each couple went off to their respective room. I instructed Edward to wait in the bathroom, after we'd brushed our teeth and done our usual nighttime routine, while I got his final Christmas gift. After I had the bright red piece of lingerie on, I reclined on the bed, one of my legs pulled in, like I'd seen in some erotic photographs.

"Okay, ready."

Edward came from the bathroom with a small, wrapped box in his hands, and practically dropped it once he saw me. I took that as a good sign.

"Do you like your last gift?"

I could only hope he did; Alice and Rose helped me pick it out, and it cost an ungodly amount of money for something I'd never wear outside of the bedroom, but they reassured me. It was mostly sheer red material, with lace at the bottom and over the cups. I knew he'd be able to see my nipples, but would be unable to see … anything else, due to the criss-cross design of the lower lace.

Stumbling for words, he finally shook his head and began to walk closer to me.

"I'm not sure I want to give you this right now," he said, then tossed the box onto his dresser. "It requires much more talking than I'm interested in, suddenly."

Slowly, Edward pulled his pajamas off, then stood before me naked, worshipping me. He began at my head, fingers woven through my tangled hair, massaging. Kissing my forehead, he continued to move lower, to my mouth, cheekbones, chin, and continued until he'd reached my toes. On his way back up, he pulled the fabric from my body and tossed it off the bed. We made love carefully, quietly, but there was an almost urgent undertone, knowing our time alone and away from school was coming to an end.

Edward put his hand in mine as he pushed into me repeatedly, our fingers wrapped around each other and every part of our bodies that could reach, in contact. It was heavenly and blissful, sensual and sexy watching him and feeling him. From this position, I could really focus on what he was doing, and although the angle didn't offer super deep penetration, it was still so good, and felt so full of love. Several sweaty minutes later, we were still wrapped up in each other, but side by side.

"I can't believe we have to go back so soon," I said. "I'm not ready to give this up just yet." As I spoke, my hand was rubbing his hip.

"That reminds me," he hummed. "Be right back."

He got out of bed and even though watching him was nice, it was suddenly cold, and I didn't like that at all. Even pulling the covers up and over me didn't help. I pouted until he was back next to me, then made him warm me up, before I realized he'd gotten my last gift while he was up.

The box was small – not as small as a ring box, but I suspected there was something expensive in it all the same. Once I had it unwrapped, I could tell it was the familiar hinged velvet box. I almost didn't want to open it; I didn't need expensive jewelry, and honestly it felt a little uncomfortable, a gift with a high dollar value.

Except, when I opened it, it wasn't a necklace or a bracelet. It was a key. Granted, it was shiny and new, but a key.

Looking up at him, I could tell how nervous he was.

"A key?"

"It's a key to my apartment. I know you pretty much come and go as you please now, but I want you to officially move in with me."

I let the words sink in and wondered how Alice and Rose would feel. Sure, we'd all need to find housing the next year anyway, and living off-campus had its benefits. Living with Edward had even more.

An easy smile crossed my face and I kissed him – small, pecking kisses, and then morphing into longer, deeper kisses.

"I'd love to live with you. Are you sure that's a good idea, with going into your second year? Won't you be insanely busy?"

"Well, that's part of what I wanted to talk about before you said yes. Guess I missed that window," he said with a little laugh. "A bigger man would let you go, but I can't. I need you. I need you to help me, and I need you around. I need your laugh, your smile, your kiss. Everything. Like air, or water, I need you every fucking day." His face showed the pain reflected in his voice as he spoke, and I knew he truly struggled with asking me. "It's totally selfish, I know, and I want you to think about it before you say yes, please," he said, holding a finger up to silence me. "Honestly, you need to think about it, Bella. I'm going to be busy all the time, grumpy, exhausted... I don't know how much fun I'll be to live with, but I want you there. I want you by my side, every step of the way."

Nodding, I moved in to kiss him, only partially to get him to stop talking. He'd begun to get that nervous panicked look on his face, and I wanted to reassure him. There were similarities between taking care of Edward during frantic school times and taking care of my mom and Old Bella, but it was mostly different. Edward gave back, and usually gave back what I felt was more than what I'd given him. Never once did I feel unappreciated or simply there for his needs. Even on his busiest day, he made sure to take five minutes for me, to kiss me before bed, or tell me something sweet.

In short, I didn't need any time to think about it; I knew my answer. I'd wait for him, though, to make sure he knew I'd given it enough thought.

"I love you," I said, then closed my eyes.

"I love you, too," he repeated. "So fucking much."

I fell asleep with a smile, and dreamed of my future.

When I woke up, I dreaded getting out of bed. It was our last full day in Aspen, and I was sad at the prospect of leaving Esme and Carlisle, and this little sanctuary we'd created. The entire day was spent lounging again, the four of us simply soaking in each other's company.

Sometime that night, I grabbed my new notebook and added "Live with Edward" to my list. Smiling, I closed it and waited for the next chance to share it with him. That turned out to be on our flight home the next day, and his eyes got just slightly glassy when he'd read it.

"Maybe you need to add the mile high club to your list," he suggested, kissing just below my ear.

I wasn't ready to be that bold, so I just laughed and slapped his shoulder lightly. The mood had shifted, though, and I could feel myself aching for him. Curling up as much as I could against him in our cramped seats, I thought about how hard it had been to say goodbye to his parents, and not just for me. Each of us seemed to struggle with it, and although I missed Alice and Rose, it was different than the bond I felt I'd forged with Edward's parents.

When we got back to his apartment, we talked about how to go about moving my things in. There was no rush, and I already had plenty of things at his place, so we agreed to just slowly shift more over.

New Year's Eve was a quiet night together with Rose, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper, at Edward's apartment. Being around the rest of them was even more fun than I'd remembered. Alice and Rose helped me make a ton of food, and we got a bottle of champagne to toast with at midnight. We were giggly as we kissed our loves, and then made space for everyone to crash safely at his place. It felt like the perfect college memory.

The next morning, the boys made breakfast as the girls laid together and talked. Each of us seemed to be going at warp speed in our relationships, and we were all just so damn happy. It seemed impossibly perfect.

School began the next week, and it was brutal. The routine of it was nice, but things felt so busy and chaotic. Some days, I felt like I was barely hanging on. I couldn't imagine Edward and his classes. We both made it through, though. We leaned on each other, and supported each other where and when we could.

As Valentine's Day approached, I got excited, knowing Edward had special plans for us. He'd only told me that I would need an overnight bag packed, and that Emmett and Jasper had similar plans for their girls. The boys seemed to be forming their own friendship, which was nice, and convenient; we would often make plans for the six of us.

I was at the dorm, packing my bags and talking with Rose and Alice, when suddenly a thought hit me. Emmett had been acting so cagey lately, and I began to wonder if he was going to propose to Rose. It was just the kind of thing he'd do, and she would love. I asked Edward about it that night and he just danced around it, seeming to strengthen my suspicions.

Finally, it was time for us to leave, and Edward finally revealed that we were all going to Boston for the weekend. It wasn't exactly Valentine's Day, since it fell on a weekday that year, but it was perfect.

We rented a large SUV and the boys drove and navigated us to our hotel as Alice, Rose, and I sat in the back talking and trying to figure out their plans.

When we got to Boston, we checked into a giant, beautiful hotel. I was shocked (in a good way) when Edward led me to a gorgeous suite. There were flowers everywhere, strawberries, chocolate, champagne, and a fireplace with a glowing fire already going.

I was eager to get my weekend started – we had plans to have dinner, all six of us, the next night, but I knew I had almost twenty-four uninterrupted hours with Edward, and I intended to make the most of each one.