A/N: Don't forget to donate to Fics for Nashville – you can find the link in my profile or on my twitter feed. My entry will never be published elsewhere, so this is your only chance to get some Bella and Edward lovin' in a different style than you're used to. The basic premise is that James and Bella are high school sweethearts, but something happens leading to traumatic events between them. Edward and Bella begin a non-traditional romance, I guess you could say. I am really proud of the way it turned out, and I hope you'll be pleased as well.

Thank you to my lovely beta, TwilightMundi, and to nerac/carenl for the pre-read. Also to the 900 people I polled for help on something in here, thank you. To mjinaspen (for the Aspen question answering, too) and moojuicey/swill, thank you for the marathon comments way back in the days before this was on hiatus. This is just the start, my lovelies, just the start. ;)

BPOV

After Thanksgiving, things picked up in every aspect. Edward and I were together more, of course I saw Jasper and Emmett in class, but I also saw Alice and Rose around the suite. Outside of class, I spent a little more time with Tanya. It was nice to hang out with her, and even though she'd broken up with Kate, she knew we were never going to be anything more than friends. She taught me to knit and crochet and for that, I was thankful. I began working on scarves for my friends, since they were fairly easy to mass-produce, and the time between classes in the cafe with Tanya was spent chattering and clacking needles.

Gifts were tough for me to decide on; aside from the scarves, I wanted to get everyone something meaningful. It hardly seemed like the academic year was half over, but the closer it got to Christmas, the more real it felt. I was excited to meet Edward's family, but nervous about what they'd think of me, and if they would approve of how quickly our relationship had grown.

By the time we were ready for our six month re-testing, we were practically living together. Edward had given me a drawer in his dresser, space in his closet, and a "side" in the bathroom. Most of the time, it was heaven, but there were times each of us was stressed and we'd snip at each other, as with any meshing of two lives.

That week, we were extra low on patience with each other, and our studies. Several times, one of us had walked away from the other in a huff of emotion, only to come back and apologize a few minutes later. The making up was nice, but the tension had to break at some point. There was just no way we could function under that much stress.

The day we went back for the blood draw was a Monday, so that we'd have our results by that weekend. We'd had to go to an off-campus clinic that time, since school had been closed for the winter holiday. It wouldn't matter to us much though, as we were getting ready to leave for Colorado, but it would be nice to have the peace of mind.

Finally, Friday came and we visited the clinic again, each of us receiving our all clear results. We kept our composure until we left the clinic, but then Edward picked me up and spun me around, lifting me off the ground. It was romantic, like a cheesy scene from a movie, and I was ecstatic.

We had no time that night to be together anyway, as we both had to finish packing, and we also had dinner plans with the rest of the gang before everyone left. Alice and Jasper were going to Houston to be with Jasper's family, and Emmett and Rose were going to Tennessee to be with Em's family, so everyone was equally stressed out.

Thankfully, I had done almost all of my holiday shopping online, or with Edward since we were on break and would take little road trips, exploring and shopping. My gift for him was some lingerie, a book, and an iTunes gift card for more music. Since we'd agreed to exchange in front of his parents, I decided to save the lingerie for later Christmas night, when the time came, and packed it in a separate part of my suitcase.

My scarf for Alice was a beautiful sky blue color, with neutral shades woven in. For Jasper and Emmett, I used a mossy green color. Rosalie got a fire engine red, and Tanya a very soft pink, which I'd delivered to her during our last day of classes. I knew she could knit her own, so it was more the thought and spirit of the gift than the actual item itself. She still seemed very appreciative, and I was glad and relieved that we'd found a new level of friendship.

For Jake and Mike, I actually mailed a set of scarves. Jake had emailed me his new contact information – they'd moved to Seattle suburb together – and I sent their gifts a few weeks before the holidays. I'd gotten a lovely thank you note from them via email, with an update on their lives. They were settling in well together and were already discussing adoption. Rolling my eyes, I closed the email that would go unanswered for a bit.

I'd sent a package with a note and scarf for Phil, even though he likely wouldn't get much use out of it, and planned to call him closer to Christmas. He was my last bond with my mom, and it wouldn't be easy, but I was also his last connection to Renee, and I knew we needed to stay in touch at least a little.

Once Edward and I had packed, we put our suitcases into the trunk of his car and made our way to dinner.

Everyone was there and waiting when we arrived, so we made our way around the table, hugging and shaking hands as we greeted everyone. Finally, we sat and ordered, then the gifts began to flow around the table. Not everyone had gotten gifts for others – Edward, Jasper, and Emmett still didn't know each other well enough to swap gifts. We'd set a spending limit of twenty dollars per gift in order to stop people from going overboard.

From Alice, Edward got a book of Kama Sutra poses, which made us all giggle and remember the first weekend at the B&B. Edward squeezed my knee underneath the table and we kissed quickly. I knew, even as much of a joke as it was, the book would get put to good use. Rose got Edward a book about giving cunnilingus, which also brought giggles, and more blushing from me. At least both of their gag gifts were useful...

The sexual theme continued as I opened my gifts from them – a book about fellatio from Rose, and a bottle of what she claimed was the best lube, from Alice. I was a little uncomfortable, but watching the look in Edward's eyes as I flipped through the pages of the book was hot. The thought of reading and learning from the book excited me beyond what I expected and my mind was immediately pulled back into exploring his body the night before.

Leaning into him, I rested my body against his and whispered, "I can't wait to put that book to good use exploring you again." My hand curled inside his thigh, my thumb brushing up the middle seam of his pants, against his now-hard length.

Edward's hand covered mine and slid it back up to the top of his thigh, while he laughed and gave me a quick kiss. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but I like it," he said against my lips. We shared another quick smile, and turned back to the table.

Realizing we'd missed some of the other gift passing during our time in our little bubble, I tried to pay attention for the rest of the dinner. When we were done, I hugged everyone tightly and Edward drove us back to his apartment. We were making the drive the following day from school to the airport in Boston, so we went to bed shortly after we got back. One last double-check that we were packed and we were curled up in bed together.

"Do you think your parents will like me?" I asked quietly.

Edward laughed. "Of course they will. They'll love you."

The rest of our time that was supposed to be spent sleeping, I tossed and turned. Edward slept soundly for the most part, and I enjoyed watching him. As he relaxed into a deeper sleep, his face softened and he looked so innocent and pure.

By the time the alarm went off, I'd caught a few hours of sleep, but not enough. Exhausted, I made my way through breakfast, then enjoyed being the passenger as we drove to Boston. We talked a bit, but mostly listened to music and were quiet. Once we were parked and checked in for our flight, it felt even more real. I was really going to meet Edward's parents.

My anxiety multiplied when we were on board, and though I tried to relax against Edward's warm body and rest, I couldn't help but feel nervous. Of course, then he pulled out the books he'd stashed in his carryon, and I just about died as he flipped through the pages. He had an inside seat and turned it away so the flight attendants never saw, but it was alternating between making me embarrassed and really turned on.

The flight was several hours long, and at some point, I did doze off, thankfully; it helped to settle and calm my mood a bit, for which I'm sure both Edward and I were grateful. We arrived late in the evening, waiting for our bags at baggage claim. Edward's parents hadn't met us at the airport at his direction, he explained. They were eager and willing to pick us up, but he'd asked them to wait at the house, until morning, to allow us to settle in. It was sweet, and exactly the kind of thing I was coming to expect from him.

Once we'd retrieved our bags, I noticed a man helping Edward. I must've been really exhausted to not have noticed him before, but as he wheeled our luggage away, Edward took my hand and explained this was his concession for not allowing his parents to pick us up – they'd sent a car.

There was plenty of snow on the ground when we'd landed, and now I was getting a look at it firsthand. I hadn't experienced snow much, so I looked forward to playing in it when I was more rested. Edward and I snuggled together in the back of the car as the driver took us to his parents' house. I'd fallen asleep by the time we arrived, and Edward helped me walk in, allowing me to rest against him. Thankfully, just as they'd promised, his parents were nowhere to be seen.

After a quick trip to the kitchen to grab a snack, Edward led us to the bedroom. Our bags were waiting, and rather than unpack that night, we agreed to save it for the morning. Once I'd stripped down to a tank top and underwear, I crawled into bed and yawned. Watching Edward undress was always a treat, and this night was no exception. My body was tired from the travel and time difference, but seeing him take his clothes off was definitely doing something for me.

"Guhhhhh," I said, sounding ten shades of idiotic. Edward Cullen somehow reduced me to mono-syllables.

His back to me, he turned to look over his shoulder. "See something you like?"

"Even your cheesy lines kill me, Cullen. Get over here," I half-whined.

Watching as his bare shoulders shook with his quiet laughter, I bit my lip as he dropped his pants, giving me a view of the ass I loved to lust over. He still had his boxers on, but it was one step closer to naked. When he turned to walk to his side of the bed, I realized he was just as turned on as I was.

"I'm so glad to be here with you," I said, after he'd climbed in next to me. "Thank you for inviting me."

"I wouldn't have wanted my Christmas any other way," he said. His hands were on my body, already almost rendering me incoherent, and he left two large wet spots, one over each nipple, as he made his way lower. "Besides, there's something I've been wanting to do..."

"Edward, I spent all day on a plane. Are you serious? Can we at least go shower first?"

His reply was a very succinct, "No," and I didn't argue.

Before he took my panties off, he ran the tip of his nose along the middle of my lower lips, nuzzling and pressing against me. On its own, my body began to writhe and press against him, over-ruling my brain. His teeth nipped at the fabric, up and down against the swollen flesh, teasing me. Finally, I felt him pulling my panties down and off my body, and decided to use the opportunity to help him undress as well.

A little awkward fumbling later, we were undressed and kissing where we stood. Edward pulled my hand and crawled back on the bed. When I moved to lie on top of him, he shook his head.

"I wasn't done," he explained.

Moving my hips up toward his face, his tongue darted out before I had a chance to protest. My hands flew to the headboard, gripping as I tried to bring my thoughts back to my brain. Could he even breathe like this, I wondered?

I missed him, needed him, wanted him, but my body and brain felt disconnected as he pleasured me. Unable to think rationally, I let go and let my body take over. Turning to my side, I hoped Edward would roll with me and get the hint, but he just gripped tighter.

"Let me move," I whispered. "I promise I'm not escaping."

Laughing lightly, I turned my body and Edward must've figured out what my plan was. As he moved back to working my body, he groaned and the vibrations against my skin sent shivers through me. From here, I was facing his erection, and I tried to work slowly. My hand stroked his base as my tongue, lips, and mouth focused on his tip.

Edward's hand snaked around the back of my leg, then apparently he got frustrated, as he rolled us back to our original position – him on his back.

Momentarily, I panicked as I envisioned what we looked like in my head. Could he see all of me from this position? Even my...

The thought died in my head as his fingers teased me, then pushed inside. Suddenly, I didn't care which part of my anatomy Edward was looking at; if he was going to be that enthusiastic about it, it obviously didn't bother him.

The difference in sensation between the last time he'd done this, with the dental dam, and this time, was amazing. Suddenly, I understood what his interest in having sex without a condom was – for him, the sensations would be amplified just as much as mine were in that moment.

Moaning around his cock, I hoped the vibrations paid off as much for him as they had for me. I assumed they had, since his hips flexed up, and he made the sexiest noise I'd ever heard. As we eagerly lapped and sucked at each other, I got lost in him, lost in pleasuring him. Focusing was difficult, and eventually, one of us had to give in – me – and I rested my head against his leg as I felt my orgasm approach. I tried to keep the contact going between us, my fingers and hands rubbing his thighs as my lower half shamelessly rubbed against his face.

Unintentionally holding my breath, I felt my orgasm crash over me and had to fight to hold in the loud noises I wanted to make. I wasn't sure how far away Edward's parents were, and I was certain that would not be the first impression I wanted to give them.

As soon as my orgasm was mostly over, I took him back in my mouth, my efforts to make him feel just as good as I did renewed and revived. I did feel a little awkward with my body just sort of wagging in his face still, but he continued to touch and kiss me, which surprised me. He didn't seem to be working me up to a second orgasm, just enjoying my body and the different ways he could get it to respond. He already seemed like an expert, and I felt so inexperienced, but before I could fall too far down that rabbit hole of thoughts, I was reminded of the task in front of me.

Edward was making soft sounds, and I loved listening to his different reactions depending on what I did. When I licked the soft ridge around the head, he sighed quietly, and when I used my teeth, gently of course, he groaned a little bit louder. After I'd experimented enough and knew he was on the verge of his orgasm, I stuck with one thing. Listening to him whisper and whimper, I smiled around his skin, drunk with the knowledge that I was the one driving him crazy.

As his body tensed beneath me, I swallowed as gracefully as I could, and laid still for a moment. My fingers continued to trace patterns on his legs and eventually, I turned and crawled up to lay next to him.

"That was interesting," I said.

I really wasn't sure what to make of it yet. The position was awkward and even though it felt good, everything I did with Edward felt great. Was it better to focus solely on each other, or was it nicer this way, where we gave each other attention at the same time?

Humming, Edward pulled me out of my thoughts as he turned me in his arms, then pulled me close to his body. His head rested on mine, his nose in the crook of my neck, and we fell asleep without another word.

The following morning, we woke to the glorious smells of fresh coffee and bacon. Maybe pancakes, too, I decided. Edward and I were still wrapped up together, although our position had changed, and buried under the soft fluff of the down comforter. Watching his eyes fight to stay closed the last few seconds of sleep, I began to kiss the corners of his mouth lightly. When the corners turned up and he began to kiss me back, I smiled, too.

"Good morning," he said, his voice still rough and sexy.

"Mmm," I hummed, "yes, it is."

Stretching my body out beside his, I tangled our legs together and made a little squeaky noise as I reached my arms up as far as I could. Edward took the opportunity to kiss and nibble at my décolleté. When his thumbs ran over my nipples, I let out a breath and curled my body back into his.

"I smell breakfast," I said. "I'm hungry."

"Me too," Edward said, lowering his head to swipe his tongue across my nipple before pulling it between his lips.

"Edward, your parents are right out in the kitchen," I said whispering urgently.

"Do you know how many times I've had to listen to them?"

"Oh my god, seriously?" I whisper-shrieked.

He laughed and brought his hands back up to my face, looking at me as he ran the pads of his thumbs across my cheekbones.

"Yeah. My parents are still disgustingly in love, and not afraid to show it. It's cute, actually. Gives me hope."

All thought was cast away as he kissed me gently when he was done speaking.

"It was hard for them, when she died," he whispered against my lips. "But they leaned on each other. Other couples would have broken up or been bitter and angry, but in so many strange ways, it brought them closer."

Our moment of intimacy went from sexual to tender in a quick moment. Everything unspoken in that moment made my heart pang, and I wasn't quite sure why.

"If we ever go through something like that," he said, then paused to take a slow, deep breath. "Something like what you and I've been through alone, I need to know you'll be able to come to me, the way they did. I need you to know just how much I need you, too. I trust you, and I want you to trust me too, implicitly."

Unable to form the words I know he needs to hear, I simply nodded as my eyes filled with tears. I already needed him, and perhaps that was the core of my problem; I was so afraid, because if he left me, too, I would really be fucked, and I knew it. There would be no trip to re-discover myself, I'd simply be shattered.

Taking a deep breath, I wrapped my arms around him and we lay together in this moment, two people slightly broken. In the quiet, I began to question myself and my choices. The further away I got from Jacob and that life, the more confident I'd become in who I was and what I wanted, which was comforting. It made me happy to be on my own, to be with Edward, and to be at Dartmouth. I wondered briefly what the next phase of my life would be like, and smiled.

Then it sank in: I was content. For maybe the first time ever, I had everything I wanted in that moment. I would absolutely have changed some circumstances and brought my parents back, but I'd found my place in life even without them. Guilt flooded my heart, and the urge to sink and succumb to the negative feeling almost took over. I sat with it for a minute, rolling the guilt through my thoughts, and came out the other side knowing, not just thinking, but knowing, that neither of them would want me to waste my days alone and lonely.

Even though Renee would never meet Edward, I knew she'd have loved him. She would have teased me about his crazy hair and his fine ass. Charlie would have made overtures with his shotgun, then shared a beer with him on the porch while Edward feigned interest in fishing. It would have been perfect, and good.

Except that it might not have been, I realized.

If Charlie and Renee had still been alive, I might never have moved and gone to Dartmouth. I might have stayed in Forks, stayed with Jake, living that life of lies – to others, and to myself.

It was all too much before coffee, I finally decided, and dragged Edward out of bed. He smacked, then rubbed my ass as I walked in front of him, and we laughed through a quick shower together. He studied me as I got dressed, and I smiled carefully at him, wondering briefly if my epiphanies from the morning were written across my face for all to see. Would the world know just how fucking happy I was in that moment? I sure hoped so.

We walked hand-in-hand out to greet his parents. As soon as we'd turned the corner, and I saw them, I knew what Edward meant about them being sickeningly adorable. His mother was sitting in his father's lap, her arm around his neck, as they whispered to each other, broad smiles on both of their faces. Once they saw us, they shifted apart just a bit.

"Good morning Mom, Dad," Edward said, walking to give them each a kiss on the cheek. They both stood quickly after, embracing him in a hug, then turning to me. "This is Bella. Bella, this is my mom, Esme, and my dad, Carlisle."

Each of them opened their arms for a hug, and I was a little nervous. Moving to Carlisle first, I said hello, then gave him a quick, stiff hug. I could tell it was just as awkward for him as it was for me, and that made me a little more comfortable. Esme embraced me; it was more than a simple hug, and she was so warm. Everything about her was soothing to me, and she was the antithesis of my own mother in that sense. Renee was frenetic, and Esme was steady, calm.

"It's nice to meet you both," I said, then shifted uncomfortably in my spot.

"Do I smell breakfast?" Edward asked, thankfully removing the attention from me. "Bella, coffee?"

"Yes, please."

Making my way to help Edward, I was promptly shooed out of the main cooking area by both him and Esme, so I turned and sat with Carlisle. Thankfully, he was playing with some electronic device and seemed not at all focused on me.

Moments later, Edward appeared with a plate full of blueberry pancakes and bacon, coffee mugs in his other hand. It was something so small, but I loved sharing a plate with him when we ate. It felt like a small moment of intimacy that was perfectly acceptable in public.

"So, are we going skiing today, or do you kids need a day to recover?" Esme asked.

Edward and I exchanged glances, then laughed.

"How about after tomorrow, Mom?"

"Okay. I'll call and schedule some lessons for Bella. Would that be alright?" Esme asked.

"Sure," I said. "I'll need to rent whatever gear I might need."

"No need, we keep spares here," Esme said, smiling. "We'll just have a relaxing day then."

Edward reached over with a bite of pancake, and the morning marched on like any other. After we'd eaten and watched a little TV, Edward and I bundled up to go outside and play in the snow. It was so different watching him play and jump in the snow. He was still my Edward, just lighter. More free, and comfortable. It was really interesting, the difference in him around his parents. There was a vulnerability there I hadn't seen before, and I appreciated him allowing me to experience it.

He was always so independent, never really seeming to need me for anything, but when we went back inside and had taken all of our outerwear off, Esme had cocoa waiting for us. It was as if he was a bright-eyed six-year-old again, taking a mug of steamy goodness from his mommy. I giggled at them both, then accepted my own steaming mug and curled up on the couch with him.

After a game of Scrabble, then dinner, we sat around and talked. Everyone else had wine, but I declined. Edward had taken my feet in his lap and was rubbing them slowly. Now and then, his hand would wander just slightly up the inside of my calf, tickling a little. Then his palm would flatten and the fingers smoothed over the back of my leg, leaving a trail of tingles.

When his parents weren't watching, I could see his eyes shift and cloud with lust and longing. He was too polite to ever drag me out of the room, but if the look on his face was any indication, we wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon.

"Bella, it was so nice to meet you," Esme said, standing to give me a good night hug. "Edward's never brought a girl home, so this was quite a treat."

I had to keep my head from whipping over to look at him in surprise. Surely he hadn't had trouble finding women, but he'd never brought one to meet his parents?

"Thank you for having me, Esme. I really appreciate you hosting me for the holidays."

"Don't be silly," she said laughing. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Carlisle gave me a warm hug and then they were off to their room, which I was grateful to finally note was on the way other side of the sprawling house.

Yawning, I reached up and stretched, hoping I was at least kind of teasing Edward.

"I'm so tired," I said. "Ready for bed? I bet I'll be out in ten seconds flat," I deadpanned. My chest fluttered just looking at him. I was so fucking lucky that such a sexy, smart, kind, giving man wanted to take me to bed, and had me in his heart, and I knew it.

Turning away from him to walk to the room we were staying in, I actually heard him growl. I thought I might fall over from laughing as hard as I was, but then he matched my pace and walked right up behind me. As his hands slipped around my waist and we began to make the trek together, awkwardly, he turned his mouth to my ear and whispered.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard, for so long, you'll be lucky if I let you sleep at all tonight."