A/N: Endless thanks to Squalloogal, for purchasing this in the FGB auction. You guys get this chapter, plus chapter 3 of this story, thanks to Squally's generosity.

You've probably noticed that this story changed names. This is formerly Meet the Parents. Welcome to Fumbling to Happiness, the multi-chapter story name. Thank you to the 900 people I polled and pestered who helped me figure out the right new name. I hope you don't completely hate it.

Mucho besos & gracias to my beta, TwilightMundi, and to tarasueme, who never hesitates to look over anything I send her. Also, to jjuliebee, who has pimped this story more than anyone I know. I love you, JJ.

All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

~o~

He turns and looks at me, smiling, and then he stops. We're in the hallway and I have no clue what we've stopped for, when he moves his body in front of mine, pressing me against the wall. There's no hurry this time, just slow, casual, dare I say lazy kisses. The kind that say "thank you," and don't need to rush because they know there are thousands more just like it behind them.

Edward leads me to the kitchen and I can see a meal laid out across the counter.

"Dinner?" he offers.

"Yes, please!"

Through my haze of lust and need, I've entirely forgotten the need to eat. The growling of my stomach reminds me, though, and I'm glad Edward has enough common sense left to remember humans require food.

"Just need to pop it back into the oven for a quick reheat," he says, pressing a few buttons on the oven.

"Did you cook?" I ask.

"I've learned to make a few things; enough for us to get by," he says. "Esme often invites us over."

Watching, I pay attention to the lines of his body and the way he moves. He's obviously very comfortable in this kitchen, and that makes me smile. Edward grabs two bowls and portions out what I can now tell is salad. Only, this isn't at all like my version of salad – you know, open bag, dump in bowl, glop on dressing? No, this has beautiful greens, I can see peppers, cherry tomatoes, cucumber, carrots, strawberries, blueberries, and walnuts.

I notice the bowl next to the salad as Edward picks it up, along with a whisk, and brings the dressing back together. He's talking to himself softly the entire time, making notes about the food and its freshness.

"Should be okay," he mutters. "Salad and baked rigatoni good?" When he finishes speaking, he looks up at me and his eyes are so clear, so alive.

"Yeah."

I'm all mono-syllabic, having imagined this elaborate dinner, but being faced with just Edward. His casual comfort with serving me baked pasta and salad is … unimaginable. In the very best of ways.

As we sit at the table, his hand rests on my knee. Looking up, I catch him staring at me, a goofy sixteen-year-old's grin on his face.

"You look very proud of yourself, Cullen," I tease.

"I am. How often do I get this lucky? Beautiful woman in my house, happy kid, great night."

Smiling back at him, I nod and go back to eating my salad. It's like an orgasm in a bowl, and I have to stifle the giggle that wants to erupt at the fact that I'm sitting here with Fucking Cullen, post-orgasm high, eating the best salad of my life. Surreal.

The rest of the meal passes mostly in quiet, our bodies touching in some manner the entire time. Sometimes it's his hand on my knee, or mine on his arm, his lips against mine...

When we're finished eating, he stands and puts our bowls into the sink, having reused our salad bowls for the pasta. Walking me back to his bedroom, he helps me get my dress back on (sadly), and it's like reality is settling back into my bones. I briefly wonder if this is why so many of the Stepfords are on meds – this awful, shitty, lonely reality.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Edward asks, just as I've gotten out the party hats and streamer for my epic pity party.

My usual Saturday bullshit is so mundane, I can't even bring myself to bore him with the details.

"Not much," I say.

His hand moves to caress my face again, and I'm thinking I could really get used to this. Closing my eyes, I soak up as much of him as I can before I have to leave. Being a mother is a fulfilling job, it's just something I never imagined would overtake and consume my entire life.

"I want to see you. Will you have time?"

As he speaks, he's kissing my eyelids, then nose, and cheeks, and moving toward my lips. I'm definitely going to need Chapstick when I get home.

"Yeah," I breathe. "I should. We could take the kids to the pool?"

Might as well make full use of the wax I paid for.

"Yes, that sounds perfect."

We work out the details of where we'll go; I offered to meet at the local rec center's indoor pool, but Edward prefers his snooty gym. Well, the gym or the country club. Since I'm not ready to turn in my Regular Person Card just yet, the gym it is.

"Text me?" I practically beg against his lips.

Our kiss escalates quickly and I want to stomp my foot and pout at the fact that the large grandfather clock in the other room is reminding me that it's far past my own bedtime, never mind our childrens'.

Edward hands me my jacket and helps me put it on, and I really can't help but smile. I'm sad to be leaving, but these small gentlemanly moments give me hope for more.

Opening the door, he takes my hand, and I pause, frozen where I am, exactly one step outside Edward Fucking Cullen's house.

The most beautiful, pristine snow is falling to the ground. The flakes are fat, fluffy, and wet, and right now, it's heaven. Looking around, I see that the surfaces of the expanse between the houses are lightly dusted with it, and everything looks magical. Everything is shimmering in the moonlight, and it feels like the potential is there for all of it. The piles of snow can become snowmen, the hills will be banks for sledding, and me? I can feel the potential building there anew as well.

Positive my cheeks and nose are turning pink in the chilly air, I leap into Edward's arms, laughing. Sure, what I needed was a few good rounds inside that house with him, but what I needed even more is now gently wrapped around me. The hot and hunky man I lusted after for weeks has sort of faded to the background, never gone, that's for damn sure, and the strong, warm man holding me now has surfaced.

The potential is there for him, too, and it only sinks in further and deeper as he kisses me lightly once, then begins to tickle me. Shit, I hope he doesn't drop me. At least we'd be on the ground again, but a quickie in the snow isn't exactly my idea of a great nightcap.

Trying as hard as I can to not be affected, I let his fingers jab into my ribs and poke around my flabby middle, his need to provoke a reaction clearly growing.

"Aren't you ticklish?" he asks, frustration evident in his voice.

Biting my lip, I just shake my head no. I don't know why I'm even bothering to lie – I'm awful at it. He laughs and again I worry he's going to drop my sorry ass right onto the cement, but his arms are strong and reassuring around me. In more ways than one.

Finally, he sets me down and I realize we're at Esme's back porch. Stealing one last kiss, we compose ourselves as best we can and he opens the door for me. As I enter the room, I notice a man I've never seen before. Older, distinguished, but cold, perhaps? There's some distance, some unease between us that I can't quite put my finger on.

"Ah, Bella Swan, this is my father, Carlisle Cullen. Dad, this is Bella, Rose's mom."

Reaching out to him, I take Carlisle's hand in mine and we shake quickly.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Cullen."

As I'm uttering the words, I have to bite my lip to keep the laugh in, the reminder of my name for Edward making me slightly schoolgirly.

"And you, Miss Swan. I've hardly heard a peep from the kids, but I believe Esme is watching a movie with them in the theater," Carlisle says, his look sweeping from me up to his son, then back to his newspaper.

"Thanks."

Edward's quick answer surprises me, and we're on our way down basement stairs before I can ask questions. I stop short on the last step, not wanting to turn the corner and look at them just yet. This last little peek, last little moment of privacy and grown-up time is mine, and I'm taking it. Turning on my heel, I pull Edward's mouth down to mine for a quick kiss.

My tongue sweeps out into his mouth, along with a quiet moan, and I pray that my puffy, oldass, now broken jacket isn't making too much noise as my hands move to his face. For some reason, I have to fight to stay rational. Fight to keep from saying all of the things my heart wants me to say and share with him. I'm not ready, and neither is the life-sustaining organ pumping away in my chest, even though it seems to disagree.

With a wide smile, I pull away and step down the last step. Our kids are sitting next to each other in huge, leather chairs. The large projector is playing a movie I know has just come out on DVD, and they're sharing a bowl of popcorn between them. Popcorn smell assaults me and for the first time ever in my life, I'm a little sad. I don't want the salty, buttery goodness; I want Edward smell.

"Hey, guys. Did you have fun?" I ask, breaking their movie-induced stupor.

"Mom!" Rose shouts, leaping from her chair to hug me.

I see Emmett roll his eyes and Edward inclines his head at him, some macho display of non-affectionate affection, I guess.

"Ready, Rosie Posie?"

A sharp tug on the ends of my hair alerts me to the fact that Rose obviously does not want me to use her nickname in front of the boys.

"Do we haveta?" she asks, pleading with her sad, but obviously tired, little eyes.

"Yep, it's way past bedtime. But, how about swimming tomorrow?"

Rose jumps and squeals, and I think, yeah, I feel that way about them, too.

"Mr. Cullen and I will work out the details, but we'll get some fun time in between our usual errands, okay?"

Emmett gets out of his chair to high-five Rose, and the grown-ups laugh.

"Bella, thank you for letting me watch the kids tonight," Esme says, smiling at me with such a genuine expression my heart clenches. She really is the ideal grandma. I'm envious, as I miss my own, who passed on several years ago. "I'd love to watch them anytime." She winks at me, and I giggle. Giggle.

I've been reduced to giggling. I'm not even sure I care, really. Maybe what I need is giggling.

"Thank you for watching them, Esme. I can imagine what a handful these two were."

I'm totally not even kidding, either. Rose can be such a handful, add in another body and brain on her level and I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

Esme looks at me and says, "They keep me young."

Her eyes are dancing in a dangerous way that tells me she's even more delighted about playing Matchmaker with her son. I suddenly realize that I know very little about Edward's family, and although he's given me small details and bits and pieces of his life story, there is so much left to learn.

The thought thrills me.

"Goodnight, Esme, Edward," I say, nodding at them both.

Turning to leave, I realize there's no way I can navigate this maze of a house on my own. As I'm getting ready to ask Edward to help a girl out, his hand is at my elbow. It's not overt, not too boyfriendy, just a guy helping out. Rose is wrapped up in her end-of-the-night conversation with Emmett about the movie and doesn't even notice, so I have no idea why I'm even nervous, but this is just the pleasant effect of Cullen, I guess.

"I'll miss you," he breathes into my ear as the kids walk ahead of us. His body is closer to mine, warming me, and I have no time to reply. My once cold, dead heart clenches a little. I'll miss him too; more than I'm ready to admit to either of us.

Emmett is semi-navigating Rose in front of us, and it's slightly comical to watch them doing almost the same thing we are. I know they're too young to even think about things like that, but it's funny to look at them and wonder what if.

At the front door, I turn and shake Edward's hand. Sure, it's the goofiest thing I've done lately, but I don't want Rose or Emmett to suspect anything yet. I also flag this topic to return to tomorrow at the pool, because I'm not sure if we're intentionally hiding this from our kids, or if we're both just really awkward around each other now.

Edward's fingertips tickle my palm, and I swoon, swear to god. I guess we're not as awkward as I thought. He lets go too soon, but I know it's needed. The door opens, and the ground is soft under our feet. Rose and Emmett each gather snowballs to throw, and Momzilla comes out to play.

"Okay, enough," I say, the cranky at having to leave all of this and go back to my real life settling into my bones. "In the car, please."

Emmett shows the first sign of affection toward his father I've seen: as Rose and I buckle in, he's got his arm wrapped around Edward's waist. It's a small but tender moment. They wait there, on the porch in the snow, no jackets, as we pull away. Even as I'm turning out of his driveway, they're standing there watching, waiting, soaking in as much of us as we are of them. It's then that I realize Rose has turned all the way around in her seat and has been waving out the back window the entire time.

My heart almost breaks.

"Did you have a good time?" I ask, genuinely interested.

Rose is like my life raft at times; it's totally not cool to admit it, but she is probably one of my best friends, even at seven years old. She's smart, funny, and likes a lot of the same things I do. Not because I like them, mind you – but because she genuinely likes them herself. She's not the kind of kid to say she likes something to please me. Oh no, sometimes I can see the conflict that rages in her eyes, wanting to be different from me.

"Yeah, Mom."

Her answer falls short of my expectations, but I know better than to press her. She's probably tired and needs time to digest all of the changing things. I'll ask her again at breakfast and make sure she's really okay spending more time around Emmett.

The rest of the car ride is quiet, filled only with the soft sounds of the radio and my inner dialogue that never stops. When we get home, I help Rose into her pajamas and she climbs into bed without argument, a rarity for her.

By the time I'm in my own PJs and back in my room, my phone is buzzing away on my dresser. I flip it open and smile.

Good night, Bella. Xoxo

I send what I hope is a cute reply and crawl under the covers. My sleep is restless, even more tossing and turning than usual, as I let thoughts of Edward and me simmer. Am I ready to bring a man into my life?

Faster than I know it, the sun is rising high in my bedroom and I'm awake again, having no recollection of ever falling asleep. As I make my way to the coffee pot, I try to think about my day. I need to go to Target, the pool, and then... well, I might as well be honest. I want to spend the entire rest of the day with Edward. I'm not sure how realistic that is, though, so I map out other errands and laundry, the highlight of every single person's Saturday, right?

As I'm mixing pancake batter, I feel warm arms wrap around my waist and a head smooshes itself against my ample ass. At least it's good for something.

"Hey, sweets. Ready for some pancakes?" I ask, like pancakes are manna from heaven. The reality is, my griddle is old and needs to be replaced, and I hate that I'll have to soak and scrub it, but Rose loves pancakes.

Rose whoops and hollers, finally settling down at the table. Once I have a stack cooked, we sit together, eating and talking about the day.

After we've eaten, showered, and dressed, we hit Target, spending only about twice what I had budgeted. Fucking dollar spot.

On the plus side, Edward and I have been texting back and forth the entire time. Somehow, dirty texting makes your wallet draining much more acceptable. I even let Rose get a Littlest Pet Shop, which I'm sure I'll regret after I step on it at during the trek to my bedroom at midnight.

Once we're home, I implore Rose to change into her bathing suit quickly, and do the same in the privacy of my bedroom. Putting on my bikini top, I take an extra second to look in the mirror and make sure my nips are both pointing the same way.

Girls properly in place, I slip on jeans and a sweater and make my way to Rose's room. She's dressed and ready, and we drive to the swank place the Richies like to call the gym. As we drive, I wonder if anyone even sweats inside there.

Like the gentleman he is, Edward is waiting outside for us. We're both bundled up, Rose and I, but the itch to touch and hug Edward is palpable. I can tell he feels the same when he embraces me, and I panic for a moment. This is definitely not in our agreed-upon plan.

Before I can protest, he pulls back and takes my hand in his, leading me to the visitor sign-in forms. After being handed a temporary card, I take Rose back to the women's locker room and feel like an idiot. I haven't worn a bikini in at least a year, what the fuck was I thinking putting it on? There's no time to wallow, though, as Rose is undressed and ready in her suit before I can even pull my pants off. She's literally running laps around the bench that separates the rows of lockers, and I just laugh as I pull my hair back into a ponytail and lock up.

Once we're hand-in-hand, I realize I have no idea where the pool is. I didn't see it on our way in, so I turn to ask what looks like the only normal person in this place. She points and grunts, and just as I'm about to lecture her about politeness, Rose drags me away. Snagging two towels on our way out, I wrap mine around me in my continuing fit of self-consciousness.

"Slow down, don't run!" I say, then realize I sound just like my fucking mother. The thought makes me blanch.

Rose bolts through the door that Snotty has pointed us to, and I see Edward and Emmett semi-splashing at the shallow end of an elaborate pool. On one side is a walk-in shallow end, and the other has covered, spiraling waterslides. At the shallow end, there are a few fountains popping up through the water, and a mushroom that has water raining down on small kids. It's not packed in the pool, but not empty either.

The kids run into the pool, and Edward leads me over to a jacuzzi with a small waterfall. From here, we can still keep an eye on them, but also have privacy. We're the only people in the warm, bubbly water, and I'm glad for it as I drop my towel at the edge.

Stepping in, I grab Edward's hand that he has outstretched to me and settle between his legs. He's strong and warm, his fine hairs tickling my back as we try not to be too obvious in our snuggling.

"I guess we're telling the kids?" I ask.

"I don't know. It still doesn't seem like a great idea. Maybe we should hold off a few more weeks?"

I nod, knowing he's right, but confused by his proximity to me. What he does next takes me even more by surprise: his hands wrap around my waist and pull me even closer to him.

"You are so sexy in this bikini."

His breath is hot against my skin, even compared to the fine spray the bubbles around us are creating. I want to lean back into him and let him work his insane Cullen magic, but then his words really register.

"Oh my God, are you fucking blind?" I ask, half-laughing.

As his fingertips splay over my stomach, the muscles clench involuntarily. He's seriously going to do me in, right here, right now.

"Why would you say that? You are gorgeous."

"Where should we begin? My thighs and ass are not made of steel, not even close. My stomach is flabby, my tits sag. I have freckles in funny places, thanks to too much teenaged suntanning. My-"

Edward bites my earlobe, effectively stopping my speaking. As I groan, he speaks, and I try really hard to listen.

"Your thighs and tits are magnificent, Bella. You don't realize what great shape you're in, and you don't even workout. Your freckles are adorable, and this stomach?" Both hands continue to graze and tease my skin as he speaks. "This is where your most precious gift, your demonseed hellbeast, came from. It's not anywhere near flabby. You have the curves of a real woman that's lived."

Humming, I rest my head back against Edward's shoulder.

Wait a second.

"Demonseed hellbeast?" I laugh, repeating his words.

"Yeah. She's awfully cute for someone spawned from Hell, though."

"What about your demonseed hellbeast?" I ask, almost but not really offended.

"Oh, he's perfect for her. Two minions of Satan, sent to torture us."

We laugh together, but then his hands are roaming again, and I can feel them between my thighs. Carefully, probably so as to not arouse suspicion, he shifts my legs apart and hooks mine outside of his. Just the thought of what he's going to do, anything at all now that I'm opened to his body, has me panting like a dog in heat. I'm that shameless, apparently.

"Edward," I implore.

"I'm just gonna make you feel good, Bella," he reassures me, his voice soft and seductive. "Don't you wanna feel good?"

His teeth nip at my neck and I realize I am thoroughly fucked, even if I'm lacking that particular body part inside of mine.

"Yeah."

Snaking his hand down into my bikini bottoms, I can feel him teasing me. As his fingers glide up and down my lips, just the tips shifting and teasing between, I whimper. It almost seems unfair that I'm having so much fun and he's not, but in this moment, I'm just too greedy to care.

Briefly, I contemplate ducking under the water further so he can touch my breasts, but there's absolutely no way we can do that without raising suspicion. As it is, I'm leaned back against him, eyes closed, moaning like a whore. I'm just thankful we haven't been thrown out yet, and toss out a brief thanks to the universe for allowing us this miraculous moment of privacy.

Edward's fingers focus their attention on my clit, varying his strokes from side-to-side and then up-and-down, and I realize he's talking softly in my ear. He's whispering the things he likes about my body, in fact, and had it been anyone else, I'd have thought they were just snowing me. Edward, however, is entirely genuine. He's listed a few of my scars and even the shape of the parts I hate, turning them from saddlebags to luscious hips and such. Part of me wishes he would just shut up; I'm uncomfortable with anyone paying this much attention to my body, but the greater part of me is enjoying the vibration of his voice through his chest, and the way he's paying me an endless stream of compliments.

Shifting his other hand lower, he snakes it, too, into my bikini bottoms. His fingers circle my entrance and after he pushes two inside of me, I have to bite my lip to keep from screaming as I come. He is so, so good at this.

His voice is low and scratchy as he speaks. "I can't wait to get you to my house again."

All I can do is hum in my post-orgasmic state. Suddenly, the thought occurs to me that I've lost track of Rose, something that never happens at the pool. My eyes fly open and I curse, a little louder than intended.

"Don't worry," Edward reassures me. "There are life guards and I've kept my eyes on them. Well, one eye. Did you enjoy that?"

"Mmm, yes, Edward, thank you. That was fucktabulously good."

We linger, the air quiet between us, for the next few minutes.

"I don't want you to leave," he says softly.

"I don't want to go either. Do you have plans tonight?"

Sighing, he turns me to look at him. "Yeah, I promised Emmett we'd go to the movies. It seems like kind of a father/son thing, you know? I don't know how he'd react to inviting you and Rose."

"It's okay," I say, running my hand along his cheek. He clearly didn't shave this morning, and the stubble tickles my palm, making me smile. "We have lives."

His hand reaches for mine under the water, and he threads our fingers together. Suddenly, I remember something.

"Hey, Rose is with James next weekend," I say, leaving the rest unspoken.

"All weekend?" he asks.

"Yep. She goes Friday around six, and then comes home Sunday night sometime, usually around eight. Depends on what James has planned with his other family."

Groaning, I remind myself to watch my words. Just because it didn't work out with me doesn't mean James isn't entitled to a happy life.

"I don't know," Edward says softly. "Emmett would be suspicious if I had you over the whole weekend, but I might be able to plan a sleepover for him with someone from the class. He's been asking about a playdate with some kid named Ben."

"Ben is very sweet. Good kid. His mom is a little nutty, but aren't we all?"

"Do you have her email?" he asks.

"Dude. Check the class list, Father of the Year," I tease.

He tickles me and I let out a loud yelp, drawing every eye in the enclosed area to us. Shit. We part like teenagers caught making out on the couch, and I keep laughing for a good five minutes.

"Mommy, I'm hungry!" Rose whines, having run to the jacuzzi from the pool. Emmett appears right behind her, his eyes pleading to Edward.

"Okay, okay. Can you get lunch?" I ask, turning to Edward.

He nods and we all make our way back to the locker rooms, shower, and meet out in the lobby. After a quick drive down the road, we're wolfing down sandwiches and soup from a fantastic deli, everyone mostly quiet. I can sense the exhaustion running through Rose, having run herself ragged at the pool. Emmett's hair has dried and is spiking up just slightly, making me giggle every time I look at him; it's that same uncontrollable look Edward's hair seems to have.

Full and happy, the kids get into each of our cars, and we're left standing there in awkward silence. Their eyes are on us, curious and big, as we stand, talking.

"I'm sorry, I- I wish I could..."

"Stop, it's fine. Really, Edward. I'll hopefully see you on Friday, and maybe at pickup sometime," I say, winking. "And there's always the phone, you know."

"I know. It just feels like... not enough."

His body is so close to mine now, and I'm torn between reminding him to back off and pulling him closer.

"I know what you mean," I whisper. My eyes meet his and I'm reminded of last night, when he asked me not to break his heart.

Very carefully and very slowly, he leans to kiss my cheek. It's something we can clearly explain away to the kids, but the way he lingers is just for me. His soft lips press to my cheekbone, whispering against the skin briefly before he pulls back.

"Talk to you later?" he asks, opening my door for me.

"Yeah. Absolutely."

I give him my biggest, best smile, because I am so happy right now, I could burst. I never imagined feeling this again. Somehow, Edward has woken feelings I was certain I'd just never feel, never experience, never soak in again. I'm not quite sure how to repay him, but I've got a few methods in mind to try...