I owe a massive debt of thanks to so many people. I sure hope I don't forget anyone, this feels like Oscar night and I've been given the privilege of posting an FFFA! This is srs bzns.
Thank you to my faboo beta, siouxchef. Thank you to my friends, who keep me sane late at night and early in the morning, and who force me to remove perfectly acceptable documents from the trash bin on my laptop. In no particular order, siouxchef, algonquinrt, 4theluvofmary, adorablecullens, tara sue me, ninapolitan and manyafandom. A very large pile of thanks is also owed to the people who have supported The Trip Home from the beginning. It wasn't always clear for everyone else was the vision was, and I very much appreciate those who stuck it out and decided they would enjoy the wild ride with me.
Which brings me to my next and final thanks – to NaughtyPastryChef, even though she'll probably never see this. I would absolutely never have begun this story without you and I will be forever thankful to you for your encouragement and collaboration in the beginning.
This is the first of The Trip Home Prequels.
All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.
The inspiration for this prequel is the following paragraph in Chapter 4 of The Trip Home:
The fourth photo was one of me in front of U of C on my first day of med school. It was the first day Jasper and I had been intimate, just after I got home from class and he had come home from practice, all sweaty and ready for a shower. When I think about it, or see this photo, I can still taste his salty skin in my mouth. I almost got hard looking at it again, but I was able to keep my thoughts under control.
I would never forget the first time I looked at Edward and thought something sexual about him. We were twelve, and up in the treehouse in his backyard. We spent the majority of our time up there during the summer, but this was different. We were both growing into our bodies, still gangly and awkward. It wasn't anything intentional he did that made me look at him differently; it was just the way he was laying on the ground, feet up in the air as we looked at at our graphic novel together. I had the strongest urge to kiss him, something I hadn't done yet with anyone. His lips were unconsciously puckered as he read, pouting and ready to touch mine.
Three summers later, at fifteen, I knew Edward was still a virgin. I had lost my virginity to Jessica. It lasted all of five minutes. Only three were inside of her, the other two were spent frantically groping each other.
By our senior year of high school, we'd both had sex with a few girls. Neither of us was promiscuous, but we found likable girls that we dated for a while and things progressed naturally. Edward's parents were like second parents to me by then. Sleepovers on weekends were a common occurrence. We usually shared Edward's bedroom, one of us on the long leather couch and one in the bed.
But sometimes? Sometimes we accidentally touched. Accidentally on purpose, of course.
The very first time we touched was in his bathroom. Edward had just taken a shower before bed, and I had to go pee. It would have been nothing for me to walk by him and take a piss as he towel dried, but this time, I let my hand swing out just a little farther than normal. The moment the edge of my right hand brushed across his towel-clad thigh, I got hard. So hard I thought I might pass out. Thankfully, I didn't.
By our high school graduation, I suspected I was in love with Edward. We posed for a photo for Carlisle, and Edward's cologne wafted to my nose. Instant erection. Thank god for graduation gowns.
Edward came to almost every one of my games once I was recruited to play for the Chicago Fire. He would study at home and then sit in the stands and watch me. By my second year with the team, I knew the tension between us was building to epic proportions. I would need to confront Edward with what I felt. I just didn't know how or when.
It took two more long years. Two more years of glances. Subtle touches. Walking in on each other in the shower, accidentally of course. Who the hell doesn't hear the water running? We would each create excuses to be there, things we had to talk about immediately, which were all complete and utter bullshit and we both knew it. It was during one of those accidental walking-ins that I stopped, stripped, and joined Edward in the shower.
He began to protest--weakly mind you--and I shushed him. It had been too long for both of us, the build-up too great. The moment I was behind him, I pressed against him and wrapped my hand around his waist. Awkward, clumsy and fast don't even begin to describe that first encounter we had. Too quickly after I'd begun, Edward started to cum, one of his hands against the wall to support his body. His moans had begun to sound almost painful, his body shaking even after his orgasm subsided. I trailed one hand down his back from his shoulder as the other let go of his softening cock and opened the shower door. I knew there would be no reciprocation when I got into the shower. I just wanted to give him that, in that moment. To open the door between us that seemed locked and unspoken of for so long.
To my utter surprise, the next day Edward walked in on my shower. Stepped in behind me. Touched and stroked me to orgasm, although not nearly as quickly as I had done for him. I had been thinking of Edward for years by then; the same stroking motions he was now engaging in were part of my nearly daily repertoire of fantasizing about Edward's hand, Edward's mouth, and... well... other parts of Edward's body I wasn't even ready to admit to myself yet.
We continued this pattern of shower pleasure for a few weeks. I had come to terms with loving Edward, but I had no clue if he thought this was simply some stress relief, fulfilling a need we each had or something more.
Soon. I would talk to him soon.
Soon turned into another month. Very slowly, I started to ease in moments of affection during our showers. I noticed Edward would give me little signs before he would head to the shower and I had begun to do the same. Now I would rest my chin on his shoulder as I touched his body. He would lean back into me, even before I began. The epic tease he had become was a shock to me; he would sometimes consciously or unconsciously rub against my cock as I stroked him to orgasm. The icing on the cake--when I knew I'd have to talk to him--came when he reached behind him and began to stroke me in the same rhythm I was working him.
We still had yet to kiss, or even face each other as we softly moaned and panted through our pleasure, but this was the confirmation I needed that he might be feeling something for me.
I had no clue what had been happening with Jasper and me. The first time he came into the shower with me and began touching me, I was so full of need. I didn't even know what I needed so badly: the release? The intimate touching? Jasper? I remember thinking it couldn't have been Jasper. I wasn't gay.
As we repeated that moment in the shower over the next few days, I became worried. I like women, I reassured myself. What I was doing with Jasper was just stress relief, right? We were in a slump with girls; school was taking a priority for me. It was no big deal, just two guys lending each other a helping hand, literally. We had grown up together; we were close. We could trust each other with this and it wouldn't change who we were, or where our lives were headed.
Jasper was so proud of me on the first day of med school. He insisted on taking my picture outside the building, and I felt so silly. It was a monumental day in my life; I had dreamed of medical school as far back as I could remember. After he snapped the photograph, he hugged me and whispered to me.
“I always knew you'd accomplish this. I'm so proud of you.”
Very small words, but the impact they had on me in that moment was profound, and I realized for the first time that his feeling of pride was mutual. I was just as proud of Jasper for accomplishing something with his life as well. Not only was he a professional soccer player, but he took time to volunteer for causes close to his heart and gave monetary donations as well. He wasn't hugely well known around town, but well enough in the soccer fanatic community that his name helped.
As we embraced, the flash of realization shot through me and I knew. I felt something more for Jasper. I wasn't sure exactly what, and it made me entire day was spent distracted with thoughts of what Jasper and I were. What did it mean? All this time, I thought we were merely satisfying our needs with each other, but now I knew better.
I was relieved to be home first. Jasper had practice, and I needed time alone. I needed to sort through what I felt for him. Was it possible that I … loved Jasper? I mean, I'd loved Jasper as my friend since forever. I poured myself a scotch and sat on the couch to think.
When he walked through the door, the uncertainty vanished. All this time... wasted.
I was done wasting time.
It didn't matter anymore if I loved Jasper, or was in love with Jasper; all I knew was that at that moment, I needed him in a way I had not admitted to myself before.
“Hey, how was your first day?”
Sweat was glistening on his body as he took his shirt off: his standard routine for arriving home after practice. This was my signal from Jasper that it was nearly shower time, except I had other plans for us. Greater plans. Scotch-induced braver plans.
“It was good,” I said as I stood up. I had to hold the smirk in. Now that I knew I was going to bring whatever was going on with Jasper to another level, I was getting rather confident about it. All of the moments when he had touched me unnecessarily or rested his head on my shoulder in the shower flashed in my mind, and I realized he'd been slowly getting to this place in his own head.
Placing my scotch glass on the counter, I raised an eyebrow at him and tilted my head to the side. The smirk escaped now and he looked at me curiously.
He hummed a questioning reply.
“We're not going into the shower today.”
As his eyebrows creased, I moved to close the distance between us. His bag was on the ground, sweat-soaked shirt resting on top of it. Shoes, having been toed-off the moment he was inside, were at the door.
The look on his face was disappointment mixed with confusion. Even as I moved toward him, I could see his hesitation and worry.
“Well, maybe we'll get there... eventually.”
I was next to him now, not touching anywhere on his body, but the heat moving through the air between us. Having just come from practice, Jasper's body temperature was raised and along with the sweat I could see on his skin, I could smell it. I had been in a locker room before. It was safe to say I'd smelled sweaty men, but this wasn't quite the same. Jasper didn't smell funky sweaty; he smelled clean and salty. There was no foul odor coming from him that turned me off; in fact, the smell made me want him even more. I didn't even know someone could be this sweaty and smell this good.
We seemed to be locked in a battle of wills, standing there facing each other, waiting to see who would finally make the first move. I reminded myself that I was done waiting and cupped his face in my hands. I needed to kiss him. I needed the intimacy that moment would bring. I needed to know if it was just release or if there was more behind it.
No more wasted time, I thought as I pushed my lips into his. This was my moment of truth. Jasper would either respond in kind, or freak out, and I would be destroying a lifelong friendship.
His body pressed into mine, and I let out an audible sigh of relief. I moved my lips against his, taking his lower lip into my mouth. I wanted to devour and enjoy every part of Jasper in that moment. I let his lip slip back out through my teeth and then nipped at his neck.
My hands were at his waist, fingering the elastic band of his shorts. As my mouth moved lower on his body, so too did my hands, taking his shorts and boxers with them. Once they were off his body, I had a moment of hesitation and wonder; was I the kind of guy that swallowed?
Mentally thanking the scotch for giving me that thought, instead of the other thousand or so that might have been laced with panic at what I was about to do, I suppressed a laugh. My hands trailed up the back of Jasper's legs and as I faced off with the source of Jasper's pleasure, I let my palms rest on the flesh of his ass.
I felt myself straining in my own pants; the panic and fear rising and competing with the lust. The scotch was wearing off quickly at the sobering reality of the situation. I may have even completely lost my nerve, if not for one small single-syllable word from Jasper.
It came out of his mouth as a whisper, but it was enough.
Kneeling on the floor, I looked up at him. The desire was written across his face and flooding out from his eyes, which were now creased with need. Realizing that I'd never be able to look at him while I did what I was about to do, I lowered my eyes again, and then my mouth.
Instantly, I felt some sort of camaraderie with every girl who had ever performed this exact act on me. My mouth felt weird wrapped around Jasper and I wasn't exactly sure what to do, even though I had gotten several blowjobs in my time. I could feel his muscles tense beneath my palms and took that as a good sign that I wasn't entirely fucking things up. Yet.
Trying to bring up memories of things I had appreciated and enjoyed in the past, I snaked out my tongue on the next up movement of my mouth, swirling the head of his cock. I licked and kissed my way back down, then one of my hands left his ass to cup his balls. As I squeezed, I slipped my mouth back around him and took him in again, increasing my friction and speed.
Jasper's hands moved to my head as his hips flexed, and I took him deeper than I thought I could. I knew what he was feeling in that moment: the primal need that gripped his body. Out of my control now, the pace was set by Jasper's hands and hips. I slipped deeper into the moment and moaned around him, admitting to myself that giving up and letting him take over turned me on beyond what I could have imagined.
As my hand on his ass began to squeeze and press, encouraging him to continue, I could hear him muttering profanities. Moments later, his fatigued muscles began to shake, and I wondered if he was getting closer to his release. As I continued to lick and suck at him, he got louder, and I concentrated my attention to the head of his dick, adding a twist of my head and flicking my tongue at him while he was still wrapped in my lips.
It caught me off-guard when he came, the hot salty cum flooding my mouth, and his loud groan assaulting my ears. Then the panic really struck, and my empathy for the thousands of women world-wide swelled as I swallowed it down and tried my best not to gag. The feeling was in direct contradiction with the sense of pride I had that I had just given my very first blowjob, and it seemed like maybe I wasn't half bad at it.
I had little time to contemplate techniques or improvements to my methods; once he caught his breath, Jasper fell to his knees and pushed me onto my back with a wicked grin.
Unlike the trepidation I had, Jasper seemed to not hesitate or be nervous at all. Perhaps he's been waiting for this longer than I have, I thought. His hands moved from my shoulders, ghosting over my t-shirt covered nipples and then down to my lower half. He palmed me through the fabric of my pants, my head tilting back on the ground as a low moan escaped through my lips.
Jasper's hands went to my jeans and undid the topmost button before sliding the zipper down. His knuckles rubbed against the length of my cock as he did so, and I couldn't help but wonder if he had done this before, or had this done to him. Every move he made seemed so well thought out and executed, designed to turn me on even more.
Once my pants were unzipped and unbuttoned, he hooked his finger over the top of my boxers and slowly pulled them down. I looked at him and the grin was still plastered across his face, his eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning. My heart lurched that he was looking at me this way, with this desire, with this need. He didn't even bother to pull my pants off my body; he simply brought them down to my knees.
His eyes came up to meet mine, and when I could see his whole face, I saw how flushed he was. He was breathing heavily, lost in what we were doing together. While looking me straight in the eyes, he licked his lips and then moved his gaze back to my now-exposed cock. Before he took me in his mouth, he traced his fingertips around the head, teasing me. I lifted my hips, needing more friction from him, and he chuckled softly.
Gripping me, he lowered his lips just to the tip and kissed me softly before snaking his tongue out and pressing it flat against my slit. I could feel his tongue slide along the underside of my erection as his mouth greedily sucked me in. I cried out, the sensation overwhelming me. I had to focus, or I was going to blow my load way faster than I wanted. I had no idea if this would ever happen again, and as I focused on how fucking good it felt, I realized that I wanted to experience it as long as I could.
Jasper hummed around me, bringing his mouth back up and off of my erection as he swiped his tongue playfully at the head of my dick again. I couldn't watch anymore; if I was going to hold off any longer, I had to close my eyes and focus. Despite my attempts to prolong the moment, I felt everything he did even more intensely then, and I knew it was no use to fight it. I'd just have to hope this would be permanently added to our repertoire, no matter what the arrangement of our feelings and needs.
As he lowered his mouth around me again, one hand moved to cup me and his knuckle grazed just beneath my balls as his hand tugged gently. It was the last little sensation that I could handle and I had to physically hold myself back from thrusting into his mouth too hard as I let go and came in his mouth. The thought sparked through me and made my orgasm even more intense. I was coming in Jasper's mouth.
He kissed my thigh after releasing me from his mouth, and slid up my body. Rolling to one side of me, we lay there together trying to catch our breath. So many thoughts swirled in my brain, but the ones that stood out the most were simply, What the fuck did we just do, and, when can we do it again?