A/N: Guess who? Don't hate me for this chapter; some of the die-hard Edward people might be pissed when they read, but... trust me. He even begins to redeem himself toward the end, but everything happens for a reason. Thank you to thatgirljen for the story title suggestion.
Another shout out goes to NaughtyPastryChef who helped me out with a few finer details in this chapter. As usual, you rock my world, NPC.
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Another year at Dartmouth. This marked my fifth; I had my Bachelor's in Comparative Literature and was in my first year of med school.
There were a few differences between the last few years and this one: I had a girlfriend, my cousins were attending Dart, and I had a job.
I hadn't been looking for a girlfriend. It was slightly embarrassing how we met, actually. I was at home in Chicago, bored one night over the summer, so I logged into the Dartmouth message boards and tried to help out a few new kids. One of them emailed me back to thank me for the advice and information, and we began a friendship. She was extremely smart and had plans to go pre-med, so I felt an immediate kinship with her.
We made plans to meet when she got on campus, and we'd been casually dating since. Maybe she was the one, maybe not – it was too early to tell. I didn't think the whole email relationship thing was a legitimate way to test the road, so we'd technically only even been dating for two weeks, and most of that time was taken up with school.
She's beautiful, of course, but that wasn't why I liked her. She was fun to hang around with and she really "got" the pre-med thing – the time, energy, and emotional commitment. At first I was intimidated by her: beauty, brains, what more could a guy want?
I got to see the girls coming and going from the cafe while I was working, and let me tell you – what a trip the female gender is. I heard them talking about guys, girls, makeup, drugs, drinking, sex... you name it, I've probably overheard two girls casually chatting away about it, waiting for their nonfat decaf no whip mochas.
Knowing I wouldn't be able to work much once my classes got into full swing, I'd picked up a few extra shifts during the first week of school. I'd taken the job because my mom was worried about me not "getting out" enough. That was her polite way of hinting that she wanted me to get married and give her some grandchildren.
The first time I saw her, Coffee Girl, she was with a tall blond kid. He bought her a plain latte and a cinnamon scone. No, I'm not a stalker, I remember details.
The second time, the same damn day, a hulking giant of a dude bought her an iced green tea. He was a little scary, but she took her hair out of the bun it'd been in and shook it out. Mmph. Yum.
Two days later, she got two drips, but was alone (and she'd finally paid for something).
Sunday morning before my shift, I went for a run. I'd stayed the night in Kate's room, so I took a route around her dorm and circled back. As I was walking into the hallway, I saw Coffee Girl coming out of the shower area. Fuck me. Her calves were tight and toned, and although she was wrapped in a short light blue robe, I could see just enough to know I wanted more. Each time she took a step, the robe split open a little more, teasing me, driving me to the brink. I cursed my tiny running shorts as they tented against my will.
The kicker? That same morning, she came in with a chick who bought her a vanilla latte and they had breakfast together. Now, they could have been just friends, but I saw the way they glanced at each other a few times (I'm a detail guy, remember?) and I was almost positive they were more than friendly glances. Great, now I was going to have girl/girl fantasies about these two all day. Good thing I had a short shift and could spend some time alone at my apartment later, before I had to meet up with Kate.
Really, though, how much coffee does one tiny girl need? And what was with all the different coffee partners? I know, what the fuck was it to me? Well, it was nothing, except that I hated those spoiled princess types that came in and expected everyone to wait on them hand and foot just because they have a few bills in their purse. The only time I'd seen her pay was the day she got the two drips, otherwise she just sat down and waited for them to pay and bring everything to her. Bitch.
Okay, it was true – my parents had money and they treated me to nice things, but I at least appreciated them.
I tried to distract myself after Coffee Girl and her friend left, but I managed to fuck up four drinks and knew it was a lost cause. Knowing I just had to hold it together another thirty minutes and then I'd be on my way home to review the material I had stowed away in the spank bank that morning comforted me.
The last thirty minutes dragged – literally. I think I took my eyes off the clock two times, only to take orders. Tyler pulled me off from making drinks after the last few fuck ups, but I couldn't have cared less.
Finally, I clocked out and pulled my keys from my pocket, nearly running to the lot of parked cars. I was never so thankful that I lived close to campus. I'm pretty sure I broke a few laws on the drive home, but I had a need like never before. Now, I was no virgin and I certainly knew my own body well, but I'd never felt so out of control. It wasn't a matter of if I would come, only a matter of how long it would take me, thinking about her.
Reaching my designated parking spot, I threw the car in park and ran to my apartment. Yes, I ran. Don't judge. I unlocked and threw open the door, closing and locking it as fast as I could. My plan was to get in the shower, since I'd seen her coming out from them, all wet and dripping.
Stripping off my clothes, I turned the water on and climbed in, not even waiting for it to warm up. Shivering, I willed it to heat quickly. My hair stuck to my face, reminding me that I was in desperate need of a haircut.
Under the warm spray of the shower, I decided to slow down a little and savor the moment. I grabbed my body wash and put some directly into my hand, bringing it to my chest. I imagined it was her small hands running over my toned chest and abs, teasing my nipples to hardness. Closing my eyes, I thought about her coffee friend from that morning, then I imagined them both with me.
Coffee Girl was lying on my bed, naked.
My cock twitched in my hand at that thought alone.
Friend of Coffee Girl stripped her clothes off and waited at the end of the bed, eyeing Coffee Girl hungrily. I stood in the corner, commanding them both.
"I want to see you both come together. Lay side by side, head to toe," I instructed. No one moved, and I got impatient. "Get up next to her. What are you waiting for?"
My hand swirled around my hard length, thumb swiping over the head. I squeezed and tugged, moaning.
Friend of Coffee Girl looked at me and whimpered. "Can I at least kiss her first?"
A wicked smile crossed my face. "Oh, you're going to kiss her. And lick her. And finger her."
Stroking up and down my length faster, I squeezed harder and that thought took me over the edge. I was almost instantly hard again. Shit.
Friend of CG crawled onto the bed, her ass on display for me. Great, I thought, but get going lady, you're not the main event here.
She moved her body around and leaned Coffee Girl into her, bringing Coffee Girl's top leg over her shoulders, trapping her exactly where I wanted. Coffee Girl repeated the action on her friend and I could hear them lapping at each other and moaning. I leaned in closer to Friend of CG's head to give her quiet instructions with an up-close view.
"Finger her. I want to see you fuck her tight pussy with your fingers."
Stroking myself again, I thrust into my hand with need.
Friend of CG complied, teasing Coffee Girl's opening first and I saw her hips buck. I could hear CG's licking of her friend increase in speed and she moaned against the wet pussy in her face as the finger dipped inside of her.
"How does she taste?"
"Like heaven. Sweet, salty, tangy, delicious."
She licked her lips and I knew I had to have a taste. I motioned for her to roll off Coffee Girl; I was in charge, and if I wanted a taste, I didn't give a fuck who was or wasn't going to be frustrated, I was going to get a taste. I rolled CG onto her back and buried my face into her warmth, moaning against her.
Letting go again, I came all over the shower wall, then sighed. Shit, how bad do you have it, I wondered, when you didn't even get to the part where you came in your fantasy before you came in reality? Pretty damn bad, Cullen.
Planning to go to Kate's after, I washed up for the second time that day. I was pissed at Coffee Girl for her hold over me. I was Edward Cullen, I didn't need girls. I needed school, structure, my family.
That reminded me that I needed to email my cousins and see if they wanted to have lunch on Tuesday. Getting out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist after drying off. I walked to the desk and took care of the email.
It would be nice to reconnect with them – they'd spent the last few years of high school living far away and I hadn't been able to spend much time with them since the semester had begun. I did see them a few times in the cafe, but it would be nice to chat with them and catch up. Alice and I had been best of friends growing up, so her move to Alaska had been especially hard on the two of us.
Just walking into Kate's (and Coffee Girl's) building made me hard again. Three times, Cullen? What are you, 18 again?
By the time I knocked on Kate's door, I hoped we'd be in bed together in mere minutes. I tried my best to keep up pretenses, since I'd been over just the night before.
She opened the door and smiled seductively at me. I hoped that was a sign she was as horny as I was.
"Edward. I've missed you," she said.
Fan-fucking-tastic. She is.
Kate and I had been having sex since the first night we met. I was usually a lot more chivalrous with women, but she practically jumped me. Who was I to deny?
"I missed you, too."
She pulled at the hem of my shirt and tugged me into the room, straight to the bed. In the two weeks I'd known Kate in person, I'd only fucked her twice. That was at least twelve out of fourteen orgasms she'd had either by my mouth or by my hands. I wasn't complaining, just the detail man coming out in me again.
I was fine with anything she was willing to offer, already rock hard and in need of another release. Kate's hands slid under my shirt and pulled it over my head, and I couldn't fucking help it; it was Coffee Girl's hands in my mind. Shaking my head, I willed myself to focus on Kate, Kate, Kate. I was fucking Kate. I was going to be licking Kate. I like Kate. I hate Coffee Girl.
As we moved to the bed, I felt her hands at my pants, unbuttoning them. Taking Kate's shirt off, once it was gone, I immediately compared her to Coffee Girl. I was absolutely not winning the battle in my head to keep my focus with Kate. Fuck.
Unclasping her bra, I threw it to the side as my pants hit the floor and we flopped onto the bed together. She lifted her hips and I slid her yoga pants down her body, revealing her crisp white panties. Fucking Kate had the most boring underwear in existence. I'd caught sight of a navy bra strap Coffee Girl had on during one of her trips to the shop last week, so I imagined the matching navy panties instead and groaned.
I really wanted to be inside of her, to imagine myself fucking Coffee Girl, taking her over the edge, making her come and moan my name. As I pulled Kate's panties down, she seemed a thousand miles away, lost in her own mind.
Slipping my boxers off, I hovered over her and kissed her, trying to bring her back. Her eyes met mine for a moment and I could see it right then. Maybe this was our last time together?
"You okay, baby?" Please say yes, even if it's only for tonight.
"Yeah, Edward, I just want you so bad. Can I feel your mouth on me, sweetheart?"
"You want me to lick you?" I nipped at her neck, frustrated.
"Mmm, yes, please. You do it so well."
I didn't need to talk anymore; I was irritated and I knew I wasn't going to get what I wanted, so I took the compliment for what it was and moved lower, licking and sucking on the way down. I bet she's not even going to reciprocate. More spanking once I'm home, I guess.
One orgasm later, I had my fingers pushed all the way into Kate. Gently lapping at her clit, I moved just how I knew she liked, stroking her g-spot. Humming softly against her, I gave her excellent head, taking her up to a second peak.
"Oh, god. Just like that... just like that. I'm gonna come, oh fuck, Tanya."
And just like that, she came. Boy, did she com. My face was still covered in her wetness as I gently withdrew my fingers, the realization of her mistake washing over her just as her orgasm had seconds ago.
"Okay. Well, I think we're done here," I said softly as I put my clothes back on.
I wasn't angry, or even hurt really, but what the fuck?
Kate sat up on the bed and was quiet for a minute before she started to cry.
"I'm so sorry, Edward, I should have told you," she began. "In New York, I had a girlfriend. We broke up right before we moved here. I felt like I needed some space from her. You were so kind and sweet in your emails, I wanted to see if I could give it a chance with you, a change of pace I guess. All it did, though, was make me realize just how much I love her." She sighed at the end, as if I was supposed to wrap my fucking arms around her and it would all just go magically back to how it was.
"Okay, Kate. Whatever."
I was slightly conflicted; I could tell she was in pain and I wanted to at least be nice to her, but at the same time, what the fuck? She did just scream out the name of an ex-girlfriend I had no clue about.
Getting up, I walked out, shutting her door quietly. I stood in the hallway for the briefest of moments and considered knocking on what I thought was Coffee Girl's door. Deciding I'd endured enough humiliation for one night, I walked out of the building and drove home.
After another round of self-love, that time in my bed, I succumbed entirely (and without guilt) to the woman stuck in my mind. A loud moan slipped out of my lips as my hips thrust off the bed, coming into a handful of tissues.
Maybe a run would help, I decided, after I was just as frustrated post-orgasm as I'd been before.
A very long run and another shower later, I was fucking exhausted. No real life woman could live up to this fantasy I had in my head, so I went back to hating her, reminding myself that I needed to focus on school and leave the women alone. I'd let Kate become a distraction and that turned out just fucking dandy, hadn't it?
I checked my email and Alice had written me back to say that they couldn't make lunch on Tuesday, but asked if I could do Wednesday. I replied to let her know I was working, but I could sit with them on my lunch break if they didn't mind eating at the cafe. Hoping to get ahead in a few classes, I was looking forward to having Tuesday off from work.
After shutting my laptop off, I laid in bed and did everything I could to not think of Coffee Girl. Secretly, I hoped to see her in the morning. The odds were with me, given her predilection for caffeine.
I woke up with morning wood, of course, and five voicemail messages from Kate. I listened to them one by one, each one apologizing more than the last. None asked for me to reconsider our break up. She needed to be relieved of her guilt, so I sent her an email. I explained that I was relieved – I'd been trying to figure out where we were going anyway, and she didn't need to worry about me. I would still be her friend if she wanted, and if not, I was sure she'd have a great life.
The only good thing about working the morning shift at the Cafe was that I got to pull a few extra shots for myself before the start of my shift. I'd need them that day, I knew.
It was barely 8AM and my eyes finally felt like they were working at my command when I saw her stroll in, alone. She was wearing a dark blue shirt and jeans; sexy, but not over the top.
She was digging through her bag and talking on her cell phone as she made her way through the line. Princess couldn't even be bothered to hang up her phone and interact with us, lovely.
"I'd like a tall white mocha, please," she said, and went right back to yakking into her phone.
Oh, shit. Filter, Cullen, where'd your fucking filter go?
Her head whipped up from her purse and I heard her phone snap shut. She glared at me with such intensity that I was actually afraid. Of a girl.
"I'm sorry, what did you just say?"
"I said, $3.95, ma'am." Please oh please, just this once, God, let me out of this one.
"No, you didn't. You fucking called me Princess. What the hell is your problem?"
"I didn't mean it, I just... don't you think you could have hung up from your conversation before you got to the front of the line? I've seen you in here with like, five different people and each time, you sit back and let them bring you food and drinks, and now you're unable to even carry on a conversation with the people helping to feed your obvious caffeine addiction. Really, don't you think that's a little rude?"
I don't even know why I was taunting her. I wanted her so badly I could hardly see straight. Seeing the red flush across her cheeks as she got even more angry with me wasn't helping, either.
"You... asshole. How dare you judge me for who I get coffee with, and who does or doesn't bring it to me. Maybe if you actually had some friends, you would know that sometimes friends buy coffee and snacks for each other. I'll have you know that last week I brought the coffee to one of my friends, so I'm not a total sponge. You, on the other hand, clearly have no manners. I mean, really, you have nothing better to do than take note of my coffee drinking habits? Get a life."
By then, her coffee order was ready, so she slapped a five dollar bill onto the counter and stomped off with her drink. Taking a seat at a table, she gave me a glare and a huff.
If that little show was supposed to turn me off to her, it hadn't worked at all. In fact, hearing her stand up to me, speak up for herself, turned me on even more, requiring me to adjust my stupid fucking work-required khakis. I hadn't come across many women like that, aside from maybe my cousins. In that moment, I realized she was exactly what I needed. Strong, confident, beautiful, smart. I was going to have to fix this, even if mere moments before I'd decided I needed to give up chicks again to focus on school. This was no chick, she was all woman.
Looking over the pastry case, I found a cinnamon chip scone like she'd ordered the other day. I put it on a plate and looked up to make sure she was still sitting at the table. Taking a deep breath, I let my boss know I was taking a fifteen minute break and walked over to her table.
With all the other people in the room, she didn't notice me until I was right next to her, which I was grateful for.
"I come in peace," I said, putting on my most humble and apologetic expression.
Keep it simple, right? She looked up, eyes nearly burning a hole into me.
Oh, snap. She was going to make me really work for it. This might be fun, I decided. I was a little used to women falling over me at the tiniest sign of interest. It was a nice change of pace.
Setting the plate down, I sat across from her, uninvited.
"I'm sorry. You're right, I was a judgmental asshole, and all of the other things you said. I don't know what came over me. I had a miserable weekend and I had no right to take it out on you."
I tried to give her my most genuine smile, no hint of fake 'trying to get into your pants' behavior. Her eyes softened a bit.
"Cinnamon chip, how'd you know? What are you, stalking me?"
"I have sort of a good memory. I try to pay attention to the details of people."
"Thanks for the scone. I'm not sure you're forgiven, but at least now I won't have to have you killed," she said with a laugh.
A beautiful, melodic, easy laugh. I wanted to hear it over and over.
"Well, that's good, because even as shitty as my life is right now, I rather enjoy the whole living aspect."
I tried to muster a small laugh back for her, just to keep the conversation light and moving.
"Well, your name tag says Edward. So, Edward, what's so shitty about your life? I happen to be somewhat of an authority in shitty lives," she said, smirking.
"Alright, but before I tell a perfect stranger the abbreviated version of my drama, can I at least know your name?" I pulled the crooked grin out of my arsenal.
Bella. I let it roll around in my mind for a moment.
"Okay, Bella. So, I met this girl on a Dart message board over the summer while I was back home. We had a great friendship, she moved to start classes, and we started to date." I paused to lower my voice. "So, last night, I'm going down on her... Wait, is this too much information?"
She shook her head and laughed. "You can't stop there!"
"Okay, so I'm going down on her, and she has this great orgasm, then shouts out a chick's name. I wasn't ready to marry her or anything, but you know, that sort of thing is a slight blow to the ego."
She had an amused expression on her face and cocked an eyebrow up at the end of my story. Leaning across the table toward me, she exposed her chest just a little more than was already revealed. She was a breath away and I could feel the heat radiating off of her body as she began to speak.
"Really? You see, Edward, I would turn that around and look at it from a different perspective. Women generally know what women want, so in my estimation, for her to have been able to adequately fantasize she was with a woman at the time, you must have been doing a pretty good job."
"Bella. That is an entirely new way to look at it. Of course, I'm still out a girlfriend, but I guess it's for the better. No one wants to be with someone longing for someone else, do they?"
I sighed without even thinking about it. I guess I had been upset about Kate, I just didn't want to admit it to myself. While I might not have been ready to spend the rest of my life with her, it did hurt that she hadn't told me about her girlfriend in New York and the details of their split. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have wanted to date someone so fresh out of another relationship.
Shaking my head again, I smiled at her.
"Bella, I have to get back to work. Thank you for listening to my tale of woe. I would love to hear your shitty life story sometime, if you can forgive me enough to spend time with me?"
"You know what, Edward? You seem like an okay guy. I might even someday retract calling you an asshole, but for now, I'm going to pass. I'm sorry. As you have correctly noted, however, I do have an extreme addiction to coffee, so I'm sure I'll see you around, okay?"
Her smile broadened as she finished her sentence and I realized it was the best I could hope for right then.
"I can't say I blame you at all. I apologize, again, for letting my mouth get ahead of my brain. Have a good day, Bella."
Standing, I walked away. At least she didn't hate me anymore. That fiery temper of hers was going into the bank for later that night, though.