A/N: Supah thanks to my betas, Siouxchef and TwilightMundi. Thanks also to 4theluvofmary, algonquinrt, and adorablecullens, who each contribute to my day-to-day sanity and to my nameless friend for assistance in providing STD testing information.
Also, one thing to note; lots of reviews mentioned that now Bella can cross "SB" off her 'to do' list, and so I wanted to clarify. The Discovery List is similar to a to do list, but she won't be crossing him off anytime soon. She wants to discover everything about him and really learn him... he wasn't just something to achieve or obtain.
All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.
"Dessert?" He smiled and I smiled back at him. "It looks like they forgot the forks," he said as I walked towards the bed, "so we're just going to have to use our hands." As his words trailed off, he gave me that grin, which had just the slightest bit of a naughty hint to it now.
I climbed onto the bed just as naked as I had left it. Edward and I sat facing each other, knees touching. The first box he grabbed was the crème brulee. Putting my hands on his knees, I ran them up his thighs as he looked into the disposable foil pot curiously.
His eyes moved from the pot to mine and then back as my hands continued on their path. When I reached his hips, I uncrossed my legs and climbed into his lap. Adjusting myself, I wrapped my legs around him, pulling myself a little closer.
"You're gonna share, right?" I raised an eyebrow.
He laughed and poked the top of the caramelized sugar crust, breaking it into pieces. His finger dipped into the pot and he scooped a bite. Opening my mouth as his finger approached, I closed my lips around it once it was inside, then ran my tongue across the surface of his skin. I hummed and closed my eyes as his finger slipped back out.
Edward leaned back slightly and I grabbed the pot from him, swiping my finger through the soft custard and bringing it up to his mouth. He parted his lips and I brought my finger down onto his tongue, feeling him suck and lap at my skin. My heart rate increased and my breathing picked up, leaving me to wonder just how long we were going to continue to drag this out. I was enjoying dessert, but I would enjoy Edward much more.
I set the foil pot down on the bed and wrapped my arms around his neck, fingertips playing at the nape of his neck as I softly licked his lips and then kissed him. I could taste the lingering sweetness on his mouth and it made me smile.
Reaching for the container next to him, he looked inside; it was the chocolate mousse cake. My smile grew even more wide as I brought two fingers into the edge of the fluffy mousse, gathering just a small amount, and swiped it across one side of my collarbone. Edward had his lip between his teeth when I looked up and he wasted no time leaning over to lick the warming chocolate from my skin.
His lips moved to my neck and he swiped a lick out before softly dropping kisses in what felt like a random pattern around the skin. I closed my eyes and lost myself to the sensation of his lips and tongue against my skin, my mind soaring to thoughts of him repeating his movements much lower on my body. A wave of heat swept over me at that thought and I moaned softly as I felt Edward rest his head on my shoulder.
"You know, when I said I'd never felt like that before, I obviously didn't mean that I'd never felt like that before."
As he spoke, his finger trailed from one collarbone across to the other. I shivered at the sensation and felt my nipples tighten and goosebumps spread over my upper body.
"What did you mean?" I asked. I had meant for the question to come out confident and clear, but instead it came out as more of a breath than anything else. I could barely even focus on what he was saying; how could I want someone again so quickly?
His hands were at my sides and I was brought out of my lust fog. Shifting my head, I brought my eyes to his and tried to focus.
"Seriously. I need you to know. I've spent my life being focused on school and activities to get me into a good college, and now that I'm here, I can't fuck this up. At the same time, I've wanted you from the moment I first saw you. I've never had that kind of reaction to someone."
His hand came up to cup my face and I started to get nervous. Was that what this was? Didn't he just tell me a few minutes ago, and yesterday, that this wasn't all just a ploy to get up my skirt? His thumb rubbed across my forehead, which had creased in confusion. He kissed me softly and I couldn't bring myself to respond, not if this was going to end badly. Just rip the band-aid off and get it over with, why was he teasing me?
"Not like that, love. This worry doesn't belong on your beautiful face. What I meant was, I've had quite a few girlfriends. I've had sex with some of them, but it's never been that intense before." Edward kissed the side of my neck and nibbled lightly before continuing. "I've never felt this strongly before. You make me feel primal and full of... everything. I want to take you away and never let you leave the bed, or put clothes on. I want to worship you not only for your beauty, but for your heart and spirit, for your intellect … and this is all very new for me. I don't think I've said more than three words while having sex with someone before, I'm usually just focused on getting to the goal. I forget to stop and enjoy the moment with the other person. And that's the other thing... that was above and beyond anything I've ever done. We started fucking, but that wasn't fucking at the end. Oh, Christ, I've turned into a girl," he trailed off, putting his head in his hands, and started to shake his head.
I lifted his eyes back to mine and gently pulled his fingers away from his face. I kissed each of his palms before setting them on my thighs.
"Thank you for being honest." I leaned up and kissed him softly and smiled. "I feel the same." This time my hand wove around the back of his neck to press his mouth into mine. "I've never, ever felt this way before," my voice lowered to a whisper. "You make me feel so good."
And he did, several more times.
As we lay there curled up with each other, fireplace safely turned off, we talked about all the different reasons why I needed to contact Jake. I asked Edward questions I would've been embarrassed to ask anyone else, probably even my doctor; he knew my secrets already, so it felt safe.
We talked about going to the clinic and lab together. He assured me that everything would be confidential and quick. He explained that I needed to have a full exam and blood work done, and would have my results in a few days, at most a week. We also talked about how, to be on the safe side, we'd continue using condoms for six months. I didn't want to expose Edward to any STDs unnecessarily and that was apparently the accepted timeline to wait after possible exposure, even with negative test results. After the six months was up, I'd go back for another blood test and we'd hopefully be in the clear. Are we really already talking about being together six months from now?
I didn't care. As Edward nuzzled my neck and whispered dirty words to me about how he couldn't wait to have sex without a condom, my mind went fuzzy and my body tingled in the way I learned that only Edward could make it.
We changed into our pajamas, brushed our teeth, and took our contacts out, sharing the bathroom together. I got to see Edward in his glasses again and it made me smile that someone so perfect could also be flawed; it was a good reminder of his humanity and to myself to stop putting him on such a pedestal. I fell asleep with Edward spooned up behind me, one arm underneath my neck and the other at my waist. It was perfect.
I woke up in a rather different position, limbs splayed out in the bed, alone. I was cold and my eyes slid open slowly, soaking up the surrounding area.
"Edward?" I called out softly.
I sat up and tried again, a little louder. "Edward?"
The shower wasn't running, but I checked the bathroom anyway. Completely empty.
The room was chilly, so I grabbed my cell phone and crawled back under the covers. The clock read almost eleven in the morning, and I thanked the heavens for sleeping in on weekends. I texted Edward to ask where he was and got a reply back quickly, letting me know he was grabbing breakfast. There was a knock at the door a few minutes later and I opened it to see Edward carrying a mountain of food.
He set the tray on the bed, then ran back out before I could ask where he was going. I shook my head and another knock came moments later with two coffee cups.
"I couldn't fit the mugs on the tray with the food and I know how serious your addiction is, Coffee Girl," he said with a wink. God, I love him.
I moved to kiss him and as my lips touched his, the full impact of my last thought hit me. I loved him.
The panic started to bubble as our lips moved together, but I reminded myself that just because I felt it didn't mean I had to say it, or he needed to know. Of course, it was less about him knowing than me acknowledging the feelings. I'd only ever loved Jacob before, and look how that turned out. I needed to stew on those thoughts for a bit, but first I needed breakfast.
We sat and ate together in bed, talking, laughing, and sharing kisses and little touches the whole time. Our bubble was about to burst with our trip back to Dartmouth, but that was okay with me too. I didn't want to spend too much time wrapped in this imaginary land. I knew from the last week that we could function together while still doing what we needed to do for our classes, so I wasn't worried.
I'd been right – the shower was large enough for two. We spent even more time talking, kissing, caressing, and laughing in there. There was no laughing at all when Edward stood behind me and mercilessly teased my body to another peak, one hand over my mouth to muffle the whimpers of pleasure and one hand lower, expertly provoking the whimpers. I basked in the haze of my orgasm as he lathered up a wash cloth and cleaned my body, then washed and conditioned my hair for me. His careful attention to detail did not go unnoticed and I gladly returned the favor, both the washing and the touching.
The drive back to campus was slow and mostly quiet, save for some iPod music. We held hands the majority of the time and Edward walked me to my room, tugging my hot pink suitcase behind him, which made me giggle.
"Can you come in for a quick minute?" I asked, unlocking the door to the room.
"I wish I could, but I have to get back and get some things done before class," he sighed. I turned back to him saw he had that same grin with a hint of naughty to it on his face, just like the night before. He moved a little closer, backing me against the wall. He pressed his body into mine and brought his lips to my ear. He moaned softly before he began to speak, pressing a small kiss just below my ear. "I'm going to think about you while we're apart. The only thing that will get me through the next several hours is the thought of what I'm going to get to do to you the next time I see you."
My head tilted back and hit the wall, eyes closed as he kissed me passionately.
"Uh, knock knock?"
I cringed and my shoulders slumped down. My eyes were still closed, and I desperately wanted to melt into the wall.
"Hey Alice," Edward said, chipper as ever. As if his cousin hadn't just caught us completely making out right outside the room. I peeled one eye open. Oh, God. She's with Jasper. I straightened up, still completely mortified.
"Edward, you remember Jasper?" she asked, as they shook hands.
"You coming in, Edward?" she asked.
"Nope, I was just leaving actually. I have a ton of things to do before class tomorrow."
Edward hugged Alice, shook Jasper's hand again, and gave me one last peck on the lips before walking away. Yeah, I watched him walk away. No one could resist watching that ass. Even through his jeans, I could imagine just how his muscles would be flexing, thanks to the show I'd gotten on our run and the night before.
Alice tugged my hand into the room once he was out of sight, and began to machine gun questions at me. I walked to my room and collapsed on my bed as we talked for what must've been hours. It was getting visibly dark outside and I was hungry.
"Wait, where's Rose?" I asked, sitting up.
Alice laughed. "She's still with Emmett. She told me not to disturb them in their Den of Sin. I didn't ask any more questions after that."
"Shit, Ali, I'm sorry; shouldn't you be hanging out with Jasper?"
"It's okay, he knew I was going to abandon him at some point to talk to you about the weekend." She smiled. "I should probably go spend some time with him, though. It's getting late, he'll need to go soon."
"Okay. Come back and spill the details to me when he's gone, alright? I'm going to grab something from the cafe, then change into my pajamas and get some stuff done in here, with my door closed." I emphasized the last part with a wink and a giggle.
My phone chirped a few minutes after I got back with a sandwich, as I was eating and going through some paperwork on my desk.
My pajamas smell like you. Miss U 3
I blushed and replied.
Miss you too. Coffee tmrw?
I opened my laptop and waited while it booted. I needed to see if Jake had replied yet to my email, then I'd gauge whether or not I'd risk a phone call or send another email.
Another chirp from my phone, and Edward and I texted back and forth a few times, arranging plans to meet up for a study date at the cafe. I was glad that we were both focused and neither of us was interested in distracting the other from school. Well, distracting too much.
Finally, my email loaded and I saw a reply from Jake and an email from Edward. I clicked the email from Edward first and was surprised; it was time-stamped from that morning. He must've snuck out and emailed me when he was getting us breakfast.
There was no text in the body of the email, and the subject was simply "Crazy for You." I downloaded the attachment, loaded it into my ESBC playlist, then clicked play. I smiled as old school Madonna sang to me. I let the lyrics soak into my skin and smiled at the fact that Edward Scone Boy Cullen was perhaps falling for me just as quickly as I was falling for him.
When the song was over, I read Jake's email and decided to call him. He was terse in the email, but I felt like he could probably handle a phone conversation. Since this was a delicate topic, it would be easier to address live instead of exchanging email back and forth.
I pressed the call button when I found his saved information, and my heart began to beat faster. As the rings sounded in my ear, my pulse throbbed in my brain. Finally, on the fourth ring, Jacob answered.
Well, at least he sounded excited to hear from me. Maybe this wouldn't be so tough after all.
We exchanged pleasantries and caught up on each other's lives, before I interrupted him to get to the point of my call. I no longer even felt a best friend connection with him and just wanted to get this over with and move on.
"Jake, listen. The reason I'm calling is to ask you some questions. I promise not to get upset at the answers, but you have to be honest with me, okay? Please, Jake."
He was quiet for a minute, then agreed.
"Jake, was there anyone...." I paused. Shit. "Was there anyone else, besides Mike?"
The silence was deafening and I began to fear the worst. What if there wasn't just anyone before Mike, but several someones?
"No," he whispered.
"Excuse me?" I needed to hear him say it again, just to be sure.
"No, there wasn't anyone else, aside from Mike."
He sounded ashamed and for a moment, a twinge of guilt flittered through me at forcing him to confess these details.
"Jake, I'm sorry. I have to ask. Were you safe?"
"Fuck, Bella. Really?"
Now I was angry. "Yes, really. God, Jake, this isn't the time to go all four year old on me. You put my body and life at risk!"
"Yes, we were safe."
"Almost every time." His voice was full of anger as he spoke. "I would never have done that to you."
I laughed at the irony, then asked him a few more questions and he got quiet again.
"I'm sorry, Bella."
It was the first time he had apologized for what he'd done to me. To us.